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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you wash your bed linen every time you have sex?

699 replies

StandingOvulation · 22/02/2022 23:58

I tend towards slatternity so I didn't realise this was A Thing Shock

Luckily it's only high days and holidays nowadays, so it's not as though Id be ploughing through the Bold on Bed sheets. Wink

It's this another MN requirement where I come up wanting?

YABU: wash em straight away you grim creature.

YANBU: Meh, wash Em on the normal processing time, no need to rush.


If you've found this page in your search of how to clean up after sex and cleaning your sex toys, you might find our guide to the best sex toy cleaners useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Trinacham · 25/02/2022 09:10

@Multiplesmultipled some women make more mess than men. I think that's what a lot of posters on here are missing! You don't need a towel/sex blanket for a man.

Multiplesmultipled · 25/02/2022 09:16

[quote Trinacham]@Multiplesmultipled some women make more mess than men. I think that's what a lot of posters on here are missing! You don't need a towel/sex blanket for a man.[/quote]
They do?! 😱 ...I've never met any!

Trinacham · 25/02/2022 10:26

@Multiplesmultipled yes, they are known as squirrels Wink don't know if it's a common thing during pregnancy but I was experiencing it when I was pregnant a lot..

AnnieSnap · 25/02/2022 10:59

What is the squirrel thing? 🤷‍♀️

mamabear715 · 25/02/2022 11:34

@AnnieSnap RTFT! :-)

AnnieSnap · 25/02/2022 11:37

[quote mamabear715]@AnnieSnap RTFT! :-)[/quote]
I have read the fucking thread. I guess I must have missed the definition 🤷‍♀️

CIaireFraser · 25/02/2022 11:43

I have read the fucking thread

Well nobody can deny it's a fucking thread Grin

WhenIsItTooLate · 25/02/2022 12:42

"having to work on a particularly funny spreadsheet"

😂😂 excellent

Lilitchka · 25/02/2022 12:49

No. We have sex almost daily. Would be too much laundry.

Tunnocksmallow · 25/02/2022 12:53

Depends how good the shag was

kennycat · 25/02/2022 14:42

@Goldberg213

No. We have sex almost everyday and I dont think I could be dealing with washing the bedding repeatedly.
Good lord, you must be exhausted. I (like many in here it seems) simply can’t be arsed. Nothing to do with the resulting laundry, just so much effort taking clothes off, fumbling around, thrusting and then failing to sleep afterwards!!
JessieLongleg · 25/02/2022 15:07

@qwill

Bet people go to bed with hair that's more dirty than sex lol

hellithurt · 25/02/2022 15:09

@kennycat

I find sex a lot more satisfying than that description!

Thank goodness!

Grin
kennycat · 25/02/2022 15:30

[quote hellithurt]@kennycat

I find sex a lot more satisfying than that description!

Thank goodness!

Grin[/quote]
Lucky you!! I don’t think I have the right hormones or something to find it anything other than a right old waste of sleeping time!

JeanBodel · 25/02/2022 15:53

@lborgia

Ok, for *@Baileys123* - I guess it depends on so many factors.

1 - spunk viscosity - some men, much more, um, fluid than others!
2 - female production - women all produce more or less stuff depending on person, cycle, age etc etc etc
3 - where on the bed. On the bottom edge of the bed is one thing. At the top end, hips near pillows, quite another
4 - size/ age of child. 52cm newborn, or giant 2 yr old who wears size 4 clothes and goes roaming around the bed!

As you can imagine, all this is just my personal experience, but bottom of the bed with guy who has minimal "output", followed by bringing newborn into new. That's one thing.

Up against bedhead/ pillows with extra- volume man, when I was at my most... fluid, with a2 year old popping in to chat with soggy mess at shoulder level when lying down. Absolutely not.

These absolute reactions don't allow for the many and varied experiences we all have (or don't).

Meanwhile, I once had a boyfriend who insisted on me lying on a towel.

He also colour coded his wardrobe, and turned all the tins to face the right way in the kitchen, so, you know, not a very relaxed guy all around.

Horses for courses. Or squirrels.🐿

You've missed whether or not condoms are involved, which I think is also an important factor. Depending on what you do with them, of course.
User1isnotavailable · 25/02/2022 16:46

Heck, who washes their sheets every day? No way. Weekly unless a spill or oil on them. Towels are handy for preventing those things though!

User1isnotavailable · 25/02/2022 16:48

@kennycat you said - (Good lord, you must be exhausted. I (like many in here it seems) simply can’t be arsed. Nothing to do with the resulting laundry, just so much effort taking clothes off, fumbling around, thrusting and then failing to sleep afterwards!!)

You are doing it wrong then. Seriously don't you realise that sex can be great fun!

Chikapu · 25/02/2022 16:55

@Multiplesmultipled

I'm shocked at how much sex people are having, especially parents 😧

But on a sidenote I've just realised another benefit to being a lesbian ..we don't have to deal with the post sex clean up and obligatory run to the bathroom afterwards or apparently sheet change as is the case for some!

Why are you shocked?
mizzo · 25/02/2022 17:13

@Multiplesmultipled

I'm shocked at how much sex people are having, especially parents 😧

But on a sidenote I've just realised another benefit to being a lesbian ..we don't have to deal with the post sex clean up and obligatory run to the bathroom afterwards or apparently sheet change as is the case for some!

A) Why are you shocked at parents having sex Confused

B) It's not just the men that make the mess, I have to do a clean up after a barclays! Not a sheet change though.

DingDongtheWitchisDrunk · 25/02/2022 17:24

@Goldrill

I wash my sheets way more often than I have sex. They'd be properly gross if I left them that long.
Hahahahah me too!
Norgie · 25/02/2022 17:52

I'd like to try the chocolate body paint.
However, I'm a dirtbag who only washes my sheets once a week, shagged on or not and I don't want to wake up looking like I've shit the bed.
Which would send @Baileys123 into a proper tailspin of horror.

KimchiWithMe · 25/02/2022 18:00

@kennycat

'Good lord, you must be exhausted. I (like many in here it seems) simply can’t be arsed. Nothing to do with the resulting laundry, just so much effort taking clothes off, fumbling around, thrusting and then failing to sleep afterwards!!'

She didn't ask you whether you could be arsed or not. Why does the notion of lots of sex make you assume she is exhausted? Are we shaming people who have more sex than others now?

MCamp10 · 25/02/2022 18:18

Change my sheets 3 times a day? You must be joking! How many sets would I need to have and what would my electricity bill be like?

CandyLeBonBon · 25/02/2022 18:35

@Multiplesmultipled

I'm shocked at how much sex people are having, especially parents 😧

But on a sidenote I've just realised another benefit to being a lesbian ..we don't have to deal with the post sex clean up and obligatory run to the bathroom afterwards or apparently sheet change as is the case for some!

You know that having sex is generally the method by which the vast majority of people end up as parents right?

What a bizarre comment!! I mean why would you think parents don't have sex?

Yutes · 25/02/2022 18:48

@AnnieSnap someone was saying squirrels were good for outdoor sex absorption. Or something to that effect.
Think the RTFT comment was a bit rude :)