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Original poster

Did you have your toddler at nursery whilst you were on Maternity leave with newborn ?

154 replies

garryboy · 22/02/2022 20:50

Just that really. Is that what people tend to do ? I was talking to a child minder about this and she kind of laughed at me and said ' well you're going to have two kids love, you'll have to look after them both together at some point '. I found this an intriguing response..

OP posts:
yawninggap · 24/02/2022 14:33

I'm due DD2 in a couple of months and DD1 will still be going to nursery, although she's nearly 4 so a lot of parents would keep their older DC at nursery at that age as they're often at free school-based nurseries (DD1s is private but we use it more like a preschool, she does 9am-4.30pm, 3 days). I'm having a c section so will find it harder to care for a preschooler in the early days, then I'd like to do the baby/swimming classes I did with DD1. DD1 will be off to primary school when the baby is 5 months old so I think it will be better for her to stay in a similar routine and develop all the social skills to help with school readiness.

HogDogKetchup · 24/02/2022 14:52

Isn’t there evidence that children who attend private nursery/preschool adjust and perform better in the early years at school?

FolkSongSweet · 24/02/2022 14:56

I didn’t have childcare for my eldest when on mat leave, mainly because we had a nanny for her and it was too expensive to keep the nanny on while I was on mat pay, and then I didn’t want to have to settle her into nursery for the first time amidst so many other changes. It was also in the middle of covid so settling would have been hard as I’d have basically had to leave her there.

So I had both kids (2.5 year age gap) for nearly my whole mat leave. We survived but it was hard and if my eldest had already been in nursery I wouldn’t have taken her out but would probably have reduced her hours.

Bettyboop3 · 24/02/2022 15:26

@TheMagicDeckchair

My eldest was at preschool room for 3 days whilst I worked. When I went on mat leave with my twins, we kept this consistent. Firstly because it was her routine, secondly it gave her opportunities to participate in activities I didn’t have time to do with 2 newborns to care for too. Finally, I continued to receive the 30 funded hours during mat leave so no financial incentive for reducing them.
Why should the taxpayer foot the bill for all these nursery hours for parents that aren't even at work?! The fact that you are very defi itely busy with 2 newborns is not the point. What would all these parents do on mat leave if they had to pay for it all themselves? 🤔
SW1amp · 24/02/2022 15:34

@Bettyboop3

You clearly don’t work in childcare

If you did, you would know the government ‘foots the bill’ for early years education and that this is proven to be a benefit fo children

Just like the government ‘foots the bill’ for primary years education

If you want to troll a thread with nasty comments, at least get your basic back story right before you make yourself look stupid AND spiteful

HogDogKetchup · 24/02/2022 15:47

I do pay for it myself….

thingymaboob · 24/02/2022 16:20

@Bettyboop3
I am in awe of you. You are amazing. Not only are you supermum and looked after 3 under 3 because you actually like bringing up your children (go girl!) but you selflessly ensured that your children did not take advantage of the 30 free hours to ensure that you save the taxpayer money. Maybe you should write a book?

Bettyboop3 · 24/02/2022 16:23

[quote SW1amp]@Bettyboop3

You clearly don’t work in childcare

If you did, you would know the government ‘foots the bill’ for early years education and that this is proven to be a benefit fo children

Just like the government ‘foots the bill’ for primary years education

If you want to troll a thread with nasty comments, at least get your basic back story right before you make yourself look stupid AND spiteful[/quote]
I most definitely do work in childcare. Many private nurseries are being forced to close due to the government not paying nearly as much as a place costs. Nurseries attached to schools are very good for early education for children if a certain age. Parents use private nurseries for childcare due to the long opening hours. Big difference. No need to call me names either, calm yourself down.

Bettyboop3 · 24/02/2022 16:32

[quote thingymaboob]@Bettyboop3
I am in awe of you. You are amazing. Not only are you supermum and looked after 3 under 3 because you actually like bringing up your children (go girl!) but you selflessly ensured that your children did not take advantage of the 30 free hours to ensure that you save the taxpayer money. Maybe you should write a book?[/quote]
There was no such thing as free hours when i brought my children up. People just expect so much these days. You didn't have children if you couldn't afford them or if you didn't want to look after them Smile

thingymaboob · 24/02/2022 16:38

@Bettyboop3
So why do you work in childcare if you resent and judge the parents who send their children to nursery and think 30 free hours is a waste of taxpayers money? Do you think all women should be SAHPs until their children are in school?

thingymaboob · 24/02/2022 16:40

30 free hours benefits the government- it means women can go back to work and pay their taxes. There's a sound economical argument for it, as well as it being shown to benefit the children.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 24/02/2022 16:44

Yes I did. Toddler was used to his routine in nursery and loved it! He just started school when I went back to work and the baby went to the same nursery. Personally, I would never have used a child minder though- I’d heard far too many horror stories of some of the local ones.

thingymaboob · 24/02/2022 16:46

I know this talks about Australia but it shows how beneficial it could be

Lindy2 · 24/02/2022 16:55

Yes. My toddler went to preschool 2 mornings a week. It was a much needed quieter time with baby on those mornings and a lot of fun for the toddler.

I also worked as a childminder when my children were a little bit older. I had several parents either sending their older child to me, so they had time with baby. I also had several parents with just 1 child, sending them to me for a day or 2 so they had a break themselves.

Even when I was childminding my younger DD went to a friend who was a childminder 1 day a week when I wasn't working.

Everyone needs a break.

MrsTophamHat · 24/02/2022 16:57

That was my plan but then Covid happened. I would have felt no guilt whatsoever.

I would have been annoyed by her comment.

Bettyboop3 · 24/02/2022 17:24

Silly question after everything i've said. I enjoy it Hmm

thingymaboob · 24/02/2022 17:27

Not really a silly question, you've shown contempt for parents and you don't agree with the system @Bettyboop3

HogDogKetchup · 24/02/2022 17:28

They just charge a top up. When my sons funding kicks in I’ll pay £19 per day for food and something else for “premium service”.

WishIwasElsa · 24/02/2022 17:33

I didn't even consider it due to the cost but I had a lovely time with both and muddled through with the lack of sleep. But I wouldn't judge anyone who did still use nursery either do what you think is good for you and yours that's what I think

TheOriginalEmu · 24/02/2022 17:33

I did. My eldest was 4 days and I cut it to two whilst on maternity for financial reasons, but had j been able to afford it I’d have stayed at 4.
When I had my third the older 2 did 3 days. When I had no4 the oldest was in school and the other two did 2 days one week and 3 the next.
Better to retain routine and it meant I got some alone time with the babies.

HogDogKetchup · 24/02/2022 17:34

I notice BettyBoop hasn’t actually addressed any of the perfectly reasonable questions directed at her…

mumofmunchkin · 24/02/2022 17:36

Yes, older kids have stayed in childcare for the same amount of time as when I was at work (3 days in my case). They enjoyed it, they kept their routine, I got a bit of time with just the baby, and they kept their space at nursery which I needed for when I went back to work at the end of mat leave. Most people I know did the same.

FolkSongSweet · 24/02/2022 18:12

The 30 funded hours are to enable parents (but let’s face it it’s predominantly women who would otherwise be SAHPs) to work. By working they pay their taxes which contribute to the cost of the scheme.

The government funding kicks in at 3 because that is the age where research has shown that the benefits of preschool outweigh what an engaged parent can provide.

So the 30 hours funding is intended to benefit both kids and the state. I hope that is clear @Bettyboop3. Interested to know what you disagree with there.

Echobelly · 24/02/2022 18:23

Yup, I still had DD at nursery two days a week while on mat leave, as I kept my childcare vouchers and they could pay for it. It helped to have time to focus on DS, and was good for DD - she's already been at nursery 4 days a week for 2.5 years when DS arrived so it didn't seem right to take her out.