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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't have to pay to see my mum

352 replies

MrsBertBibby · 22/02/2022 19:15

Just that. "Freedom" is no such thing for care home residents. Imprisoned and deprived of family and now, if we want to visit, we must shell out £20 for a test.

Is it unreasonable to call this government absolute sick psychopaths?

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 23/02/2022 14:10

@2bazookas

I'd pay anything to see my Mum again.
Me too. But I’d rather people who have still got their mums didn’t have to pay £20 a week to do so. I used to visit every day.
MrsBertBibby · 23/02/2022 14:49

@Sparticuscaticus

You can be as patronising and pompous as you like, but you could make that argument for anything. How about free contraception?

It is wrong that people are charged to park at hospital: the fact they are doesn't make this OK. And parking fees are charged to drivers visiting hospital. Not every visitor.

If LFTs are supplied to care homes for visitors, then they won't be wasted, will they? And yes, it is more just that the expense is borne by the tax payer at large than that it is borne by individuals.

It's hilarious that those on this thread telling us ut's as cheap as chips to pay fir testing similarly insis it's an intolerable burden on the tax payer. You can't have your cake and eat it, you know.

OP posts:
WindyState · 23/02/2022 14:49

"No way it cost that much"

The oft-quoted "it costs £2billion to provide free lft tests" figure is, at best, misleading. That £2billion is the cost of the entire test and trace operation in January as reported by Boris (so it's probably wrong).

The cost of providing free LFTs on demand is nowhere near that much.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 23/02/2022 15:37

@StarCat2020

Funny how no one ever talks about the entitlement of the rich to taxpayers money for botched and illegal contracts It is insane isn't it?

It is like someone stealing £1,000 off of me but I say nothing about that but have a go at you for stealing a penny from me.

I am really struggling to understand what is happening with attitudes at the moment.

Can't people be angry at both?
Sugarplumfairy65 · 23/02/2022 15:38

@Porfre

Why are the care home.still asking for tests?
Because they have vulnerable residents to protect durrrr
alltheapples · 23/02/2022 15:55

@Sugarplumfairy65 care homes are supposed to pretend the pandemic is over. And we are all supposed to ignore that Whitty has been nowhere to be seen. Probably because he does not agree with what the government is doing and refuses to pretend that the science supports it.

The same people on MN have been pushing since the summer of 2020 for us to abandon all measures totally insisting that the science supports it.

shinynewapple22 · 23/02/2022 16:10

My understanding was that although they are doing away with general free lateral flow tests for everyone, there are exceptions to this such as when a test is needed for medical purposes or within a care home . Maybe I have misunderstood but I would wait until nearer the time of the rules changing and check it out with the care home if they can provide the tests. For example before it was so easy to get hold of the lateral flow tests. I was given a huge box of these by my mum's care home so I could test before I visited .

MrsBertBibby · 23/02/2022 16:14

Care home visitors are explicitly excluded from the categories of people who can receive free tests.

OP posts:
SuitcaseOfWhine · 23/02/2022 16:19

If they are asking people to pay for tests to see relatives it's not really a complete lifting of restrictions is it?

As usual it is the residents that are affected badly by the government's decisions. As if they haven't been isolated enough already.

shinynewapple22 · 23/02/2022 16:23

Looks like perhaps I have misunderstood then, reading everyone else's posts on here .

@LimeJellyforBrains really good post and points made .

shinynewapple22 · 23/02/2022 16:27

@MrsBertBibby I can only suggest that you order in a stock of the free tests while they are available .

I was thinking of doing that, but given I'm in a position where I can afford to pay for them, will probably just order another couple of packs then leave for those who can't afford to pay .

Binglebong · 23/02/2022 17:12

[quote Blossomtoes]@MrsBertBibby 💐 Been there, got the tshirt, it’s a horrible place to be. The pandemic made me thankful my parents were dead, how awful is that?[/quote]
Same here, genuinely grateful my grandparents died before this.

My gran was in a BAD care home - shortly after she died it was marked as failing. We couldn't get her out of there because we didn't have a POA, although we were trying (we found out worse after she died). We made sure a family member visited every day and judging by later reports made by a whistle-blower that is likely why she didn't have the worst of it. People without family to step in did.

Thankfully that is very rare. I hate to think what would have happened to her if she was still there during covid with no visits. Sadly there are bad homes out there and they need watching. At "just" £3 a time that would cost us £21 a week and that is only if one person visits per day, so no joint visits or meetings with her SW which always took place there. I was on UC so had about £70 to cover everything - I would not have been able to go.

I know many homes that are only allowing one visit a week. This is having a marked effect on residents. We are ruining the health of so many and making it even harder will do more. It is a tragedy.

TimBoothseyes · 23/02/2022 17:40

This thread proves that there are people who really couldn't give a fat rat's crack about the elderly. Maybe some of those posters need reminding that the majority of us will get old and many will need care. I'm guessing some on here will be happy not to have taxpayers money funding their care and will be content with nobody visiting them. Dying a lonely death appears to be ok, what a sad society we have become.

alltheapples · 23/02/2022 17:41

164 deaths today. Yes they have gone down, but that is no consolation for those who have died and their loved ones.

HeckyPeck · 23/02/2022 17:50

YANBU.

If the government's recommendation is for care homes to make visitors test, they should provide the tests.

Otherwise people with families on lower incomes will not get any visitors. That's unacceptable for me and there are plenty of things our taxes go to that are less 'worthy' than that.

RedToothBrush · 23/02/2022 18:13

@alltheapples

164 deaths today. Yes they have gone down, but that is no consolation for those who have died and their loved ones.
No its not. But people also have to die of something too. We are seeing more deaths than normal for other causes, possibly because of care being restricted.
vodkaredbullgirl · 23/02/2022 18:21

Apparently there is a price war on lfts, Superdrug say they are selling them for £1.99 for 1 or 5 for £9.79. They have undercut Boots who are selling them for £5.99 for 1 or £17 for a pack of 4.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 23/02/2022 18:27

OP why can't you just order a few packs now? You could also ask locally to see who has stashes of them and doesn't need them.

This presupposes that you will still need to test to go to a care home in a few weeks' time.

They were giving them out in our local shopping centre today.

Sparticuscaticus · 23/02/2022 20:01

@MrsBertBibby

Your reply is rude and unnecessary

My response to you was to explain where you had misunderstood or said something misleading (especially about RPR requirement, most involved relatives choose to visit their loved ones more than that requirement would be anyway).

Expecting care homes to continue to provide free LFTs for all visitors ongoing - when there's no longer a free NHS supply as the government says there's no longer the budget to continue to do that- will increase costs and fees to self funded residents /or on the very services that are already stretched if either social care or NHS has to fund it - you’re failing to understand the extra costs it would incur - that's simply factual and unavoidable.

You have no idea the extra costs NHS and social care are still struggling through and how many years it’ll take to even slightly bounce back to our usual state of underfundedness.

It’s sad that people are quick to complain rather than appreciate at least U.K. did fund LFTs for a lm incredibly long period, where other nations
(even many of our European neighbours), did not. Yet most had the same testing requirements. Are you calling all those nations “sick psychopaths”? That’s so perjorative and entitled.

So of course you can campaign for continued free LFTs for visitors to carehomes and should do. But essentially you are asking for national tax increases. And the route to do that is to contact your MP to ask them to raise it in parliament.

I don’t disagree as I’d also rather LFT to carehome visitors were supplies free, but can see how costly that would be and I understand that would mean my taxes have to go up.

PPs have repeatedly suggested that you order a few postal packs whilst you can over the next months OP. That sounds like it will help in your situation at least for a bit.

Sparticuscaticus · 23/02/2022 20:11

I also don't think people should have to pay to park at hospitals to visit or to attend appointments . It costs me £6 to park at my hospital for essential appmts or to visit or for work, and I don't get it free despite low income and disability for personal or family visits.

If is a similar issue - one that affects people at their most vulnerable. It's also equally important to hospital patients who are in for a while, to have visitors

Most care homes have free parking. They just don't have the budget to give visitors LFTS when the free nhs supply stops for that purpose.

ilovesooty · 23/02/2022 20:14

I don't think the OP has been anything like as rude as some posters have been to her.

And as I said before, I bet some of the posters who are vociferous in their objection to taxes funding lft tests for care homes are claiming allowances or making use of health interventions benefiting their children.

Sparticuscaticus · 23/02/2022 20:21

@ilovesooty

I don't think the OP has been anything like as rude as some posters have been to her.

And as I said before, I bet some of the posters who are vociferous in their objection to taxes funding lft tests for care homes are claiming allowances or making use of health interventions benefiting their children.

OP was rude an unnecessary to me in a direct to me. My rosponse in calling her out in it was spot on.

Her initial post was awful to claim a government are "sick psychopaths" because after 18+ months of funding free LFTs there's no longer the central budget to do so (an extra that other nations never funded in the first place so were never free)

Blossomtoes · 23/02/2022 23:53

@ilovesooty

I don't think the OP has been anything like as rude as some posters have been to her.

And as I said before, I bet some of the posters who are vociferous in their objection to taxes funding lft tests for care homes are claiming allowances or making use of health interventions benefiting their children.

I agree. I think she’s been very polite.
JimmyDurham · 24/02/2022 00:37

Is it unreasonable to call this government absolute sick psychopaths?

Yes, it is totally unreasonable.

MangyInseam · 24/02/2022 01:11

There needs to be a serious think about how care homes will be managed for covid long term.

As far as I am concerned, locking in old people, and locking out their visitors, is completely unacceptable and has been all along. It's not an acceptable thing to do to an adult for more than a very brief period and is no different than kidnapping someone "for their own good" and locking them in your house.

If testing is a way to keep covid out of such places, it probably needs to be paid for like other supplies. I am actually quite skeptical that it is a useful thing at all given how many false negatives there are. Someone needs to make that calculation and without worrying about people freaking out that they are trying to kill their grandparents. Loss of quality of life is a very real thing for the elderly.