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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to pay to see my mum

352 replies

MrsBertBibby · 22/02/2022 19:15

Just that. "Freedom" is no such thing for care home residents. Imprisoned and deprived of family and now, if we want to visit, we must shell out £20 for a test.

Is it unreasonable to call this government absolute sick psychopaths?

OP posts:
EllaVaNight · 23/02/2022 04:47

Why are the care home.still asking for tests? Because CQC blame care homes when they get it.

knittingaddict · 23/02/2022 05:08

@Porfre

Why are the care home.still asking for tests?
Because they generally house those most vulnerable to covid. My dad had a stroke before Christmas and is now in a care home. I'm viewing a different home today and also need a test. It's hardly rocket science.
Unpopular37 · 23/02/2022 06:43

@MrsBertBibby

Just that. "Freedom" is no such thing for care home residents. Imprisoned and deprived of family and now, if we want to visit, we must shell out £20 for a test.

Is it unreasonable to call this government absolute sick psychopaths?

Psycopaths is a ridiculous descriptor. It is completely unsustainable to continue to provide free kits- or would you rather your NI contributions doubled to continue free testing when legally, it is not required... So most would be happy to take necessary precautions to protect our vulnerable family/friends even if it does incur a cost
chiiipsandsalad · 23/02/2022 06:59

Some of the people on this thread should be ashamed of themselves. How fucking awful, heartless and unkind you are.

Residents in care homes have been treated appallingly over the last couple of years, they are not prisoners but have been treated that way by not allowing them to see any friends or family despite their mental state often being fragile and vulnerable. When other people were finally able to venture out and have visitors many care homes still banned them. Now this.

They absolutely should not be expecting relatives to pay for tests to enable them to see their loved one. One box won't last long especially if there is more than one person visiting. The care homes should have a supply of them for this purpose and yes the government should fucking pay for it if that is the condition for a visit.

I believe you can still order flow tests online so I would start stockpiling them in preparation for this just Incase.

Alexandra2001 · 23/02/2022 07:27

Simple solution is to make LFT a prescription item, those in need get them for free, those who aren't, pay.

I'm sure it can be done without the need to consult a GP.

Keeps all those Tory voters with zero empathy happy (as much as they ever can be)

ChrisS36 · 23/02/2022 08:03

If you can’t or won’t pay why should taxpayer

Binglebong · 23/02/2022 08:07

[quote Ponoka7]@Binglebong, have the hospital workers been offered free tests in your LHA? My DDs work in two different hospitals and the staff have refused to do the weekly tests because they have to pay for them. The staff have suggested monthly tests instead.[/quote]
I don't know I'm afraid, I just saw a report that mentioned it.

MintyFreshBreath · 23/02/2022 08:34

YABU. It’s not that much and the country is currently on its knees financially. Cuts need to be made and visits to care homes aren’t essential. Call her on Zoom if things are tight and you can’t afford a test. If she doesn’t have a tablet, maybe the home do or you can save up for a second hand one over a couple of months.

MintyFreshBreath · 23/02/2022 08:42

@Feelinglow27

Wow. Just wow. Some of the opinions on here are disgusting

What, because they don’t agree with you? Why should other people have their opinions mocked because you don’t agree with them?

chiiipsandsalad · 23/02/2022 08:45

@MintyFreshBreath

YABU. It’s not that much and the country is currently on its knees financially. Cuts need to be made and visits to care homes aren’t essential. Call her on Zoom if things are tight and you can’t afford a test. If she doesn’t have a tablet, maybe the home do or you can save up for a second hand one over a couple of months.
Are you feeling ok?

Care home visits aren't essential?

So people in need of full time care aren't deserving of normal relationships with their family?

littlebilliie · 23/02/2022 09:00

"MintyFreshBreath
YABU. It’s not that much and the country is currently on its knees financially. Cuts need to be made and visits to care homes aren’t essential. Call her on Zoom if things are tight and you can’t afford a test. If she doesn’t have a tablet, maybe the home do or you can save up for a second hand one over a couple of months.
Are you feeling ok?

Care home visits aren't essential?

So people in need of full time care aren't deserving of normal relationships with their family?"

I will pay to see my mum, who is the later stages of dementia. There is no way she would understand a zoom call or the staff to wait with her.

Your attitude is depressing selfish to the most vulnerable

chiiipsandsalad · 23/02/2022 09:13

@littlebilliie so depressing isn't it.

I can only imagine people like @MintyFreshBreath have got no idea what it's like a I have a loved one trapped in a care home withering away because they have lost access to everyone familiar to them.

Wizzbangfizz · 23/02/2022 09:18

@bert3400 it is the result of the entitlement many feel living in a welfare state and why we have a crippled health system and may people who are better off on benefits than in work imo.

poshme · 23/02/2022 09:27

@liliainterfrutices I saw this on Twitter

To think I shouldn't have to pay to see my mum
TyrannosaurusRegina · 23/02/2022 09:35

You're not paying to see your mum though, you're paying for a test to see whether or not you have a virus which could rip through the care home and potentially kill the residents. Just like by paying the bus fare to the care home, you're not paying to see your mum, you're paying to get there.

alltheapples · 23/02/2022 09:38

[quote Wizzbangfizz]@bert3400 it is the result of the entitlement many feel living in a welfare state and why we have a crippled health system and may people who are better off on benefits than in work imo. [/quote]
Funny how no one ever talks about the entitlement of the rich to taxpayers money for botched and illegal contracts.

Nitgel · 23/02/2022 09:53

think there are a couple of petitions doing the rounds op and def check out Rights for Residents group on facebook if you're not already aware.

I don't think people have a clue what this has been like for residents in care homes. MIl went in one week before lockdown and we literally didn't see her for months. She had advanced dementia.

The Zoom calls though well intentioned were just laughable, a 93 year cold cannot understand how this works. People with advanced dementia especially need human contact and human interaction. MIL improved greatly when she was able to see us again face to face and not in that awful perspex hub which was set up.

We saw her face to face for just a couple of months before she died and I am glad we got this time as the time away from us obviously had an effect as she didn't really recognise us at first when she saw us face to face.

Yes ltr tests are still needed but in this case they need to be offered at a massively reduced cost or free to visitors. Now is not the time to burden families with this extra cost.

Blossomtoes · 23/02/2022 09:58

@MintyFreshBreath

YABU. It’s not that much and the country is currently on its knees financially. Cuts need to be made and visits to care homes aren’t essential. Call her on Zoom if things are tight and you can’t afford a test. If she doesn’t have a tablet, maybe the home do or you can save up for a second hand one over a couple of months.
Visits to care homes are essential. You can’t hug someone or hold their hand on a bloody Zoom call. Chances are someone with dementia won’t even recognise you.

If you’re completely ignorant on a topic you look less stupid if you keep quiet.

Nanny0gg · 23/02/2022 10:05

@ClariceQuiff

This is the problem with the 'back to normal' approach. On the one hand the government are saying 'Yay, no more restrictions, we'll live with Covid like with live with the flu from now one' - but when you dig deeper, actually we are not 'back to normal' and you still need a test here, a mask there.

Now people are stockpiling the free tests, predictably.

It's a bit of a mess.

In your specific situation, OP, it would make sense for the care home to have a supply of free LFTs that visitors could take on arrival - you could wait outside/in your car for the test to develop.

And the care home would claw back that money somehow.
Nanny0gg · 23/02/2022 10:06

@MintyFreshBreath

YABU. It’s not that much and the country is currently on its knees financially. Cuts need to be made and visits to care homes aren’t essential. Call her on Zoom if things are tight and you can’t afford a test. If she doesn’t have a tablet, maybe the home do or you can save up for a second hand one over a couple of months.
I think you'll find that residents in care homes deteriorate quite significantly without visitors and outside stimulation.

And people WANT to see their friends and relatives.

Don't you?

StarCat2020 · 23/02/2022 10:10

Test & Trace had a budget of £37 billion to run for two years.

This money was to include all PCRs and LFTs.

DrManhattan · 23/02/2022 10:21

The UK can afford it, its choosing not to.

StarCat2020 · 23/02/2022 10:23

The UK can afford it, its choosing not to
It fits their neolib ideology.

Wizzbangfizz · 23/02/2022 10:26

@alltheapples you can be angry about both scenarios - god knows how many billions wasted on testing and the dodgy contracts handed out - the two aren't mutually exclusive.

StarCat2020 · 23/02/2022 10:27

Funny how no one ever talks about the entitlement of the rich to taxpayers money for botched and illegal contracts
It is insane isn't it?

It is like someone stealing £1,000 off of me but I say nothing about that but have a go at you for stealing a penny from me.

I am really struggling to understand what is happening with attitudes at the moment.