Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

I love zucchini noodles. But I make my own and don't cook them. The heat of the sauce will cook them. They're best al dente like pasta. Not a fan of spaghetti - go figure.

I was with you OP until you dissed mango in salad. It's devine in a well made salad with avocado.

Also a fan of kale coleslaw (undressed) which includes beetroot. Addicted to the stuff. The trick is to do all your prep with it and wash it at the end. Kale leaves get a bitter taste if cut or bruised due to a chemical, but it washes off when you rinse. So rinse just before putting on plate (googled that).

Otherwise agree with the rest of it. Food belongs on plates not things that have crevices and are unable to be properly cleaned.

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

What's the difference between smashed avocado and avocado that's been disincorporated in other ways? Is it a texture thing? Is mashed avocado more finely puréed?

Or do you have to hurl the avocado at a hard surface to smash it (and not just use a fork and a bowl as you might to mash)? Like a chocolate orange, but infinitely more disappointing?

Genuine question; I don't like avocado particularly so I avoid it whatever state it's in.

I believe the term "smashed", or, in fact, just the letter "s" costs approximately £7 more than avocado that is "mashed"

@Blankscreen

Smashed avocado on sourdough toast for 'brunch'.

Sorry but I think it is for wankers

It makes gluten free toast (aka, sad, too sweet and stale bread that's failed to rise in the oven but all I can have) vaguely palatable. IF it's accompanied by crispy smoked bacon and a fried egg.

@WinterIsAlwaysComing

I actually love a toasted piece of sun dried tomatoe sourdough (from the CO op), topped with some smashed avo (mixed with lime juice, salt pepper) and topped with chilly flakes. Yum!

Me too! It's my favourite breakfast

Sorry wrong thread

Berwick Edge, Dry Aged Carrot & Lovage

Another one from Restaurant Pine.
What the absolute fuck is dry aged carrot??

So if vegan food is healthy, how come when it’s so processed with a litany of ingredients on the label?

It isn’t necessarily healthy. Vegans by definition, don’t eat/include animal products at all, but are not necessarily in it for health. Their focus is animal welfare.

Plant based eaters, eat a “predominately” plant based diet (here is where all the shite packaging is aimed at).

Whole food plant based eaters - exclude as much as possible meat, dairy and processed foods and are in it for health.

I've no idea what's trendy, but avocados and sriracha are some of my favourite things.

I have so much sriracha in my cupboard that it will probably outlive me. I didn't pay anything for it, a neighbour gave it to me as her son ordered the wrong type.

Anything with jack fruit in it.

I ate the most awful vegan tuna the other day. I have no idea why - I'm not actually vegan!

for Sadwater

@2022sucksalready

Ive read none of the replies (and really can’t be bothered, and don’t apologise), but I have to hold issue on 2 counts. 1) don’t diss pomegranate on a salad until you’ve had a Persian cucumber salad with fresh mint sekanjabin dressing and fresh pomegranate. 2) Find yourself a decent Bircher muesli recipe before refusing overnight oats. The skill is in what and how you add, making it either sublime or heavy, tasteless crap. If your overnight oats are repugnant, blame yourself as the creator, not the concept.

1) I'm afraid I hate cucumber so I can't. This is nothing to do with any form of wankiness, I've just never liked it. I really really don't like sweet food in with savory though so I doubt I'd get on board.

2. I do like bircher muesli! I had it on holiday in Mexico and it was amazing. I believe it had double cream in though, which may explain its sexiness. The overnight oats I've made are the slimming world ones with yoghurt.

I'm willing to give bircher a try myself though!

Sweet buns, brioche etc with burgers.

Herbs in cocktails, and cocktails in plant pots at the botanist. I dont want to drink from a plant pot, and I don't need coriander anywhere near me let alone in a drink!! Also, whilst on the topic, fuck off adding egg whites to cocktails too. Just give me a drink, in a glass, pop an umbrella in there if you're feeling festive but sod off trying to be edgy, if I wanted to drink herb water from a plant pot I'd join my godchild in making "garden potions for the worms"!

Black cod.. why you put a sugared sauce on fish?

[quote Motorina]I feel like this is the right thread to appreciate this: [/quote]
Ah you beat me to it ! I love this and knew it would come up

@wannapuke what on earth is that menu all about ! Oxtail root , last years walnuts , pineapple weed , our own butter ( I guess every other restaurant must steal butter ) and god knows how many bits of tree.
It looks like they've gone so wholesale florist at the end of market day and just taken all the sweepings !

Can I add steel cut ( or is it rolled? ) oats who gives a fig what type of metal was used to cut / roll the oats

Stealth veganism - I nearly got caught out by a Tu-nah Melt in an airport Starbucks. I’m not a huge fan of tuna anyway but it would have been fine given the options available. But not fake tuna. No thank you.

I agree with bubble tea (like frogspawn that’s randomly bursts out of the straw and into your mouth to make you gag), kombucha (tastes like Benilyn cough syrup) and courgetti.

I couldn’t understand the cupcake hate until I remembered I hate any cupcake that I haven’t made. With the right ingredients and tonnes of flavour (lemon and/or raspberry are my favourite) they can be amazing. And I bloody love avocado, even if toasted sourdough commits GBH on the inside of my mouth.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Green sadwater is very good. I like that a lot.

Why do sweet potato fries have a SURCHARGE of £2.50 when they’re obviously not as good as normal fries and are mostly like chopped up limp orange earthworms. Hardly anywhere does them nice.

Couldn't agree more. They should pay me to eat them!!

@Joystir59

Fucking balsamic drizzled here there and every where, nasty sticky sweet shite.

Arrrrrgh, yes why do restaurants drown every salad in balsamic vinegar. I cannot stand the stuff and always have to ask if it’s served with balsamic to leave it off and get a raised eyebrow look as if I’ve asked them not to shit on my plate.

What is the point of overnight oats? I don’t get why you would chuck everything in a bowl and leave it to go soggy overnight ?

Food served on wooden slabs makes me heave.

@wannapuke

Berwick Edge, Dry Aged Carrot & Lovage

Another one from Restaurant Pine.
What the absolute fuck is dry aged carrot??

More importantly, what’s Berwick Edge? It’s the main ingredient, the menu’s in English and I still need to google it.

@Pieceofpurplesky

Little moons. A trend a few months back. Like being teabagged by a fucking unicorn.

Oh, I quite like the Vegan ones. But you can't get proper strawberry daifuku anywhere online I can afford, so I have to get a mochi hit somehow, especially as even with the ice cream inside, they're still nowhere as sweet as GF cake or the foul sorbets that are about the only other desserts without fucking wheatflour.

@Blankscreen

Smashed avocado on sourdough toast for 'brunch'.

Sorry but I think it is for wankers

Why is it any more for wankers than a bacon sandwich? It's just food, really easy to prepare, really tasty, if you like avocado, which I do. I've been eating avocados for most of my life.

I do actually know what pineapple weed is. I know this, because I went on a foraging course.

It grew in the car park.

Where the cars park. And people walk. And dogs piss.

We were encouraged to pick and eat it.

The course culminated in a meal, with a mushroom risotto topped with our foraged herbs.

Once you picked the gritty, chewy green bits off, then the risotto itself wasn't too bad.

There's a reason you don't often see pineapple weed on menus.

This thread has made me laugh. I grew up in another country where cupcakes and bubble were everywhere. I've been enjoying both for 25 years before I moved here. But I don't drink the milky bubble tea (because I think milk in any tea is vile) Instead get a fruity flavoured black tea with the bubbles and jellies. When I first moved here and heard people talking about fairy cakes and eventually saw them - my thoughts were 'what a pathetic excuse for a cupcake'. They were flat dry little cakes with a tiny bit of icing sugar and water poured on them. Where were the decorations? The creativity? A fairy cake is bland and boring, and best used with a hockey stick. So as for cupcakes and bubble tea - I love both, but find neither are suited to the British palate of anyone over the age of 40.

Re all the other stuff mentioned - I would consider myself a picky eater, but actually LOVE cauliflower rice, courgettie, chia pudding, rocket, and almost everything else mentioned on here. I was never a fan of avocados because they taste like grass, but I'm actually really starting to enjoy them. I also love(d) triple cooked chips (I hate a soggy chip shop chip!), sweet potato fries, and a brioche bun! But I no longer eat sugar or carbs (I lost 50lbs in 11 months doing Keto, going from a size 12 to an 8 with no exercise simply by making simple swaps like cauliflower mash and rice). I now enjoy most of the things people have mentioned in the first few posts in a regular basis.

The things mentioned on this threat I don't like are the kombucha and anything with foam. And also any vegan or fake meat product because they're so highly processed and filled with artificial ingredients and highly inflammatory vegetable oils. Bleugh!!! Can't believe people think that's a healthy option.

@wannapuke

Had to name change for this in case this person I'm friends with on facebook is on here. Couple of weeks ago she went to the Restaurant Pine and posted lots of photos of the food. They have a tasting menu and the restaurant is booked up months in advance. Some of the dishes looked like something my cat had puked up or shat out. www.restaurantpine.co.uk/dining-1 So, yeah, anything on that menu really...

And fucking cupcakes. They give me the rage.

That menu has langoustine claw on it. There's maybe half a gram of meat in a languostine claw and the rest is just exoskeleton .