Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

What's the difference between smashed avocado and avocado that's been disincorporated in other ways? Is it a texture thing? Is mashed avocado more finely puréed?

Or do you have to hurl the avocado at a hard surface to smash it (and not just use a fork and a bowl as you might to mash)? Like a chocolate orange, but infinitely more disappointing?

Genuine question; I don't like avocado particularly so I avoid it whatever state it's in.

Ive read none of the replies (and really can’t be bothered, and don’t apologise), but I have to hold issue on 2 counts.

1. don’t diss pomegranate on a salad until you’ve had a Persian cucumber salad with fresh mint sekanjabin dressing and fresh pomegranate.
2. Find yourself a decent Bircher muesli recipe before refusing overnight oats. The skill is in what and how you add, making it either sublime or heavy, tasteless crap. If your overnight oats are repugnant, blame yourself as the creator, not the concept.

It seems I have found my people. I have wondered if there is something wrong with me because all the foods my colleagues eat for lunch/talk about don't interest me at all. I've pretty much stopped going to restaurants because I can't ever find anything on the menu that isn't ruined by these wanky ingredients like fucking pomegranate. (Also Covid stopped my restaurant visits but that's not the point.)

I will cautiously defend overnight oats though, because I've recently started making it with my son and we both love it. I think we're doing it wrong by mostly mixing strawberry yogurt and mashed banana with oats, milk and peanut butter, but it's so nice in the morning. I can put loads of berries and nuts and seeds in it too, which makes me feel like I'm giving my child something healthy for breakfast.

Agree completely with graze boards! I don’t want my food touching another piece of food, I’m not an animal! You may as well serve it in a trough!

I’ve not lived in UK for near 15 years so assuming the plant based craze has taken over and slapped “plant based” on every non meat/dairy item it can to sell shit.

And what's with brioche burgers. I ask for a naked burger. One place the waiter said oh but we have normal buns you can have them instead.

@Nomoresmoresthensnores

Bubble tea is the most recent 'emperors new clothes'. It will soon have its day and go the way of other fads. Because it's a fiver each and just not nice. When I had one my teen said I acted like grandma does in macdonalds

My daughter loves this stuff and I think it's vile as the ones we had in Kuwait were very sweet. However we've recently moved to Malaysia and it's very popular (bubble tea shops are like coffee shops here ) and tastes slightly better. I hate the texture of it. Kombucha also rank. Kimchi I love but only when eaten with Korean food - it's not just an alternative for coleslaw as it seems to be marked in the UK.

[quote TheUnexpectedPickle]@SpaghettiNotCourgetti it was you who inspired me on the other thread, you reminded me how awful courgetti is!

Yesssss to weirdly coloured food.

Also cupcakes. The sponge is usually dry and tastes of empty calories and the topping is too sweet.[/quote]
It was Mumsnet where I originally read the perfect description of cupcakes as "dry sponge topped with clown poo".

Tesco have a chilled plant food aisle OH said it smells like cattle feed there. He visits farms regularly 🤣🤣

@Eileen101

Chia stuff - looks like frog spawn.

Cauliflower rice. Cauliflower. Is. Not. Rice. Call it what it is - grated cauliflower.

The bleeding not-meat. I don't eat meat because I don't like the look, taste, texture, smell etc of meat. I definitely don't want my not-meat to resemble meat

I went out for lunch once and, trying to be good, got a salad that was roasted veg, goats cheese and cauliflower "rice"

It came out and it wasn't cooked!! Just raw, grated cauliflower! It was like chewing packing balls. When I told the waitress that the chef had forgotten to cook it, she told me it's meant to be raw! I had to Google recipes to show her and suggested she try a bite.

She did and let's just say my free burger and chips was delicious 😋

Deconstructed desserts (especially when served with chocolate crumb - a revolting mess

I remember going to a pub where all the meat curries were with proper rice.

And all the veggie ones with cauliflower rice.

I managed to negotiate a swap for chips.

That was better.

Blimey what a load of moaning - if your kids refused to eat so many things you’d go crazy!

Little moons. A trend a few months back. Like being teabagged by a fucking unicorn.

@Flangeosaurus

Massive, outrageous birthday cakes with 3 layers and 8 feet of tooth-shattering ombré buttercream, usually seen at a child’s birthday party having cost the parents £80. Honestly cannot see what the problem is with a supermarket cake or a homemade Vicky sponge with some smarties on top. Don’t get me started on fucking vegetables in cakes. Absolutely not on. Vegetables in cake is for people who hate cake; I’m sad for them that their lives are so empty but stop spoiling it for the rest of us.

YES! Especially ones that are taller than they are wide, the slices are all the wrong shape (or they have to divide them vertically and so some people miss out on the top icing) and the cake inside is usually shit. Loads of my friends are obsessed by this Jane's Patisserie woman and her cakes are indeed beautifully decorated, but her actual basic sponge recipe is dull dull dull.

In fact, in general the trend for Insta-perfect cakes for kids' parties. I'm a decent baker, I make pretty tasty cakes most of the time. But I do not have 10 hours to sculpt the fucking Octopod and all its inhabitants out of fondant.

I actually love proper buttercream. Not weird marge-based "frosting" that splats like a sparkly turd on top of most cupcakes.

[quote TheUnexpectedPickle]@ISaySteadyOn I do like siracha, I just don't get why it's THE SAUCE when there are plenty of other yummy spicy sauces out there that don't cost a fiver for a small bottle

@DreamTheMoors That picture has made me angry.

@Motorina WTF!? I've only vaguely heard of kombucha (probaby because my brains wanky filter kicked in)- what is floating in it!?[/quote]
Where tf are you buying your sriracha that it costs a fiver for a small bottle? It’s two quid for a massive bottle in the world foods aisle.

Disagree about pomegranate op, love it and I like dried fruit but overnight oats are revolting

Brioche buns for burgers can fuck off too.

No food should be blue unless it’s mould running through a hunk of cheese.

Picked ginger - yum yum.

So if vegan food is healthy, how come when it’s so processed with a litany of ingredients on the label?

I can happily eat a meat & dairy free meal, am even quite partial to tofu & tempeh fully flavoured, but jackfruit & alphabettiburgers just don’t appeal, cannot see the point. All that guilt & jackfruit wringing!

From the restaurant pine menu:

Beetroot, Dale End Cheddar & Last Year’s Walnuts

Last year's? You have to say that? I wasn't expecting them to be this year's - it's only fucking february.

Sheer pretentious menu writing tosh to justify the bill.

@ouch321

Why do people keep saying cupcakes?

They're not a trend, they have been around for 30 years.

Also overnight oats is just porridge.

Its not the original lovely cupcakes of childhood, its the ones with the giant icing tower of tooth decay and the glitter.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Kale is horrible and tastes of mud.👏🏼👏🏼

I hate quinoa. Just tastes like bitter gritty slop.

Kale cooked in butter with loads of garlic is the food of gods!

Samphire-fucking Brocoli with "A" levels can fuck off. tasteless cack/

Tisanes

I mean, come on

1 children too young
2 covid
3 you can save and do it in 6 years when children able to remember and enjoy
3 house prices are only going to go up and if you can get it now get it.
4 do take that year out and enjoy it but not just yet