Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

Avocado
Bubble tea just looks vile
Anything not on a plate. I need a plate!!

Never, ever understood avocados. Like eating wax.

I make delicious cauliflower special fried rice, though suspect the chicken, bacon lardons and sesame oil rather defeat the object

I'm vegetarian and often eat vegan but I do not want to eat fake meat substitutes or over processed crap. The odd quorn burger is OK but it has to be a particular brand ie not too meaty, but generally I prefer to, you know, cook with vegetables.

@PenStation

Yes - been saying about Sriracha sauce from the start. It’s marketing hype. Nicer tasting hot sauces with fewer additives are available.

Such as, please? I love hot sauce, including sriracha.

i am not fond of food dressed up to be other things - butternut squash pasta, cauliflower rice etc. Just eat the bloody carbs in limited amounts and make something else tasty with the vegetables

@2022HereWeCome

I'm vegetarian and often eat vegan but I do not want to eat fake meat substitutes or over processed crap. The odd quorn burger is OK but it has to be a particular brand ie not too meaty, but generally I prefer to, you know, cook with vegetables.

I agree! I'm vegan but I never eat fake meats. It's not that I have anything against others eating them if they want to, but I don't understand the need by some to push them on omnivores and insist they're indistinguishable. That's clearly very unlikely to be true, and it will just annoy people. So many vegans and vegetarians are happy to use primarily vegetables, pulses, grains, etc., that the fake meat focus (which benefits food companies most!) is a bit of a distraction.

Howling with laughter at ‘Spermy coconut water’ and ‘green sadwater’! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Deconstructed anything. Especially desserts. I don't want my cheesecake spread all over my plate so you can disguise it's a portion Barbie would think is too small.

Is this a London thing or going out thing?

Quinoa is more nutritious than rice and we have it a lot but I have been veggie for decades. Avocados, like tomatoes, can be delicious if you get a good one. But I don’t even recognise most of the stuff on here.

Mushrooms are slugs though. And always have been.

I would agree with most of your sentiments, OP, except the pomegranate or mangos in salads. They bring colour and flavour to a boring salad.
What I don't like is the goji berries, they are tasteless and can give you diarrhoea.
Chia seeds aka frog spawn, just the sight of them makes me heave, and they add them to everything now.
Most vegan chocolate, apart from a couple of exceptions, has a very nasty powdery aftertaste. And I have tried dozens of brands.

Admittedly haven’t RTFT but you all need to come and join us on the next Masterchef thread for a glorious outpouring of rage against all things deconstructed and foraged

I must gently disagree with the person who mentioned ramen, though - it’s probably often quite shit over here, but in Japan it’s a national staple and is bloody gorgeous. There’s even a Ramen Museum in Yokohama, I’ve been there.

PS can I nominate the 'savoury meat + waffle' trend? Why, just why?

I don't think cupcakes are trendy, perhaps in about 2005 they were.

I suppose you can make your own sriracha, same as you can make your own ketchup. I can't say as I'm too worried about the ingredient list of a sauce though.

What annoys me on Masterchef is how often the food is basically meat/fish and three veg. Dull. I love it when someone does a vegetarian or vegan dish.

Beetroot on burgers is an Aussie thing as well. I don't like it.

I have taken a strong liking to avocado and garlic smush on toast with pink shrimps on top (actual UK-style shrimps, not prawns) - yum!

I think a lot of GF stuff tastes worse when you eat it directly after coming off wheat-based products. When I started being GF decades ago, there wasn't a whole lot of decent GF baked goods around, so I just did without. Now though, there is SO much, and it's been SO long since I had wheat-based baked goods, that I am very appreciative of most of it! (not all, no).
One of the Aussie supermarkets does an own-brand chocolate fudge brownie slice that is, according to my non-GF husband, better than the non-GF option, for example.

Argh, foams - I'd forgotten about them! Hope they've died a death! I'm not keen on veg purées, either - I don't want a smear of veg purée on my plate, I want the actual vegetable!

Some deconstructed things are ok - a local restaurant did a fabulous deconstructed lime cheesecake, for e.g.- but mostly not, especially not pies. Not that I can generally eat a pie, because GF. :(

Bubble tea is something that I can't even bear the thought of. My DS1 is a fan of Twoset Violin, a Chinese/Australian pair of violinists, one of whom was a bit of an addict to bubble tea, until it gummed him up and made him ill. He's not allowed it now and I won't let DS1 have it either!

@wannapuke "last years walnuts" has just reduced me to tears 😂😂

@oakleaffy

I agree. Nairn’s in particular is my go to.

However, what fresh hell is gluten free crumpets 🤢 ? They fool you by looking like the real thing 🤮

@Halsall

Admittedly haven’t RTFT but you all need to come and join us on the next Masterchef thread for a glorious outpouring of rage against all things deconstructed and foraged

I must gently disagree with the person who mentioned ramen, though - it’s probably often quite shit over here, but in Japan it’s a national staple and is bloody gorgeous. There’s even a Ramen Museum in Yokohama, I’ve been there.

PS can I nominate the 'savoury meat + waffle' trend? Why, just why?

Nomination accepted.

Also bacon in a doughnut, on a milkshake or on ice cream.

as a vegetarian, since the 80s I despise the sudden 'meat' imitation stuff everywhere.

If I wanted meat I would eat meat, I'm actually allergic to beef and pork and all imitation meat does is give me anxiety that I'll be accidentally served the wrong thing.

I personally can handle the faux chicken 'quorn', that's been around forever and is noticeably different from chicken, and I'm not allergic anyway but these things some are shockingly 'realistic'.

No vegan I know would want mock meat (my vegan friends won't even eat the 'chicken' Quorn that I do), it defetes their morals and like me, they are paranoid about contamination so I honestly don't understand who its aimed at.

Just give me a damn veggie burger that clearly is a breaded patty carrots and peas and other assorted veg.

Gold foil on steaks and or hamburger meat.

I once accidentally ate a vegan fishless finger... good god it was horrific!!! I cant cope with the thought of a fishy flavouring... boak

I used to love linda mcartneys fake bacon bacon mind....

DH loves a brioche bun..i love a bloody sesame seed bun! (Not a huge burger fan mind).

Bubble tea - it felt like I was drinking frog spawn. Gross.

Overnight oats - cold, stodgy mush

I love pomegranate seeds on salad though, they add a nice sweetness and look colourful.

Probiotic-rich foods. Does anyone actually know what these are and do?.

Coriander/cilantro.

Jalapenos on seemingly everything.

No vegan I know would want mock meat (my vegan friends won't even eat the 'chicken' Quorn that I do), it defetes their morals and like me, they are paranoid about contamination so I honestly don't understand who its aimed at.

I keep seeing vegans saying this but I know several vegans who occasionally enjoy faux meats. A quick look through YouTube vegan channels or Vegan Reddits suggests the same. That doesn't mean that all do or even most but there's certainly quite a number out there who do enjoy them. Also some omnivores. I'm not vegan but eat them now and again so there's certainly a market out there for them.

@nex18

I threw out some dry aged carrots earlier, are fossilised sprouts and squelchy swede also on the menu? If only I’d known! I like vegetables, I like meat and cheese, I don’t like plant-based fake meat and plastic cheese, why? Ds calls those microwave burgers dirty burgers, because they’re dirty, I’m not aware of the pretentious version.

Last week I used some carrots, November, and sprouts left from Christmas, they'd been in the fridge and were fine!