Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

@HoldingTheDoor I do know vegans who enjoy mock meats. It depends a lot on demographics, I think. For some young vegans who have recently switched for ethical reasons, mock meats and other substitutes are great because they offer a lot of convenience and familiarity.

That's why I am happy they exist despite never eating them myself. I just don't think they should be pushed on reluctant omnivores, haha

@MrsSkylerWhite

Never, ever understood avocados. Like eating wax.

I make delicious cauliflower special fried rice, though suspect the chicken, bacon lardons and sesame oil rather defeat the object

Avocado sliced thinly is lovely on a bacon butty.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

Probiotic-rich foods. Does anyone actually know what these are and do?.

Coriander/cilantro.

Jalapenos on seemingly everything.

Probiotics make you shit, don't they?

Sorry in politer terms 'keep you regular'

Basically natural 'gentle' stool softener/laxative

Overnight oats has always seemed like the culinary equivalent of scraping up a cold pile of puke and then chowing down. The texture 🤢🤢🤢

@Rosehugger

Good for you *@JudgeJ*. I also find I need to eat only two meals if I have brunch so I eat less overall.

That's certainly the theory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder what the level of waste is in Waitrose regarding these plant-based peculiar foods (as opposed to regular vegetarian stuff). The aisle has tumbleweed blowing down it. They are a business and I can’t imagine they want to make a loss, but they are doing some serious virtue signalling atm and I don’t know how they can preach about no waste when over-stocking products which no one likes.

@PhotiniaEvergreen - have you tried Pure Heavenly vegan chocolate? It's really nice and we're not vegans. Lots of flavours too.

@Halsall - hello! Are you watching Great British Menu?

@Ddot

Just tried maple butter, found it in lidl, bloody lovely. Bit off topic but had to let you know yummmmmy on toast

oh my goodness yes!

@DottyHarmer

I wonder what the level of waste is in Waitrose regarding these plant-based peculiar foods (as opposed to regular vegetarian stuff). The aisle has tumbleweed blowing down it. They are a business and I can’t imagine they want to make a loss, but they are doing some serious virtue signalling atm and I don’t know how they can preach about no waste when over-stocking products which no one likes.

I get their customer questionnaires and when they asked for opinions on the marketing of their new plant based range, I actually used the word "wanky" in my response.

@HoldingTheDoor

No vegan I know would want mock meat (my vegan friends won't even eat the 'chicken' Quorn that I do), it defetes their morals and like me, they are paranoid about contamination so I honestly don't understand who its aimed at.

I keep seeing vegans saying this but I know several vegans who occasionally enjoy faux meats. A quick look through YouTube vegan channels or Vegan Reddits suggests the same. That doesn't mean that all do or even most but there's certainly quite a number out there who do enjoy them. Also some omnivores. I'm not vegan but eat them now and again so there's certainly a market out there for them.

My issue isn't that it exists (Ill just not buy it in the supermarket) it's that it's replacing veggie stuff and pushing us out.

People say its to encourage more meat eaters to try more sustainable foods, well then replace the meat options on a menu not the veggie options... usually theres is only 1%-10% of a menu is veggie to start with.

In the last few years I have had to leave and go to another resteraunt after sitting down and reading the menu and seeing the offer nothing but mock beef for veggies/vegans.

I'm not willing to take that risk with my health and it is a risk as the one time I did order a moving moutains burger the place DID 'accidentally' serve a beef burger to me (allthough they refused to admit it... allergic reaction dont lie and arent 'fakable').

I know its not the same but just the otherday I thought I would take a chance again and order something with ham listed as Vegan assuming it meant 'fake ham'. Good job I checked before eating as it was real ham and the resteraunt owner thought vegan mean 'no cheese' - so constantly on gaurd.

@PenStation

Yes - been saying about Sriracha sauce from the start. It’s marketing hype. Nicer tasting hot sauces with fewer additives are available.

If you don’t like the garlicky flavour of sriracha then fair enough but I dispute the point about it being full of additives. I’ve just looked at the bottle in my fridge and it contains chillies, garlic, sugar, salt, vinegar, then potassium sorbate as a preservative and xanthan gum as a stabiliser. That’s it.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

Probiotic-rich foods. Does anyone actually know what these are and do?.

Coriander/cilantro.

Jalapenos on seemingly everything.

Probiotics are foods that contain live microorganisms (bacteria, usually) that are considered to be beneficial to gut health. All your Yakult and biolive yoghurts, for example, and some fermented foods.

Prebiotics, on the other hand (which may or may not be what you meant, because of the "-rich" suffix) are fibres that are largely indigestible by our own digestive system but the bacteria in our guts just loooooovve them! So they feed up the bacteria and help them to grow and flourish and keep us healthy. Things like Jerusalem artichokes are prebiotic rich foods. They make most people fart like a trumpet and usually in fairly noxious fashion.

@mam0918

"Probiotics make you shit, don't they?

Sorry in politer terms 'keep you regular'

Basically natural 'gentle' stool softener/laxative"

no they are supposed to provide a "better" environment for your natural gut bacteria and some of them actually contain live gut bacteria. The theory is that it supports the gut based aspects of the immune system and improves digestion.....in fact if you have got or tend to get the post antibiotic shits, probiotics are said to help to deal with/prevent this. The actual valid research evidence on this is VERY thin. Kefir and other fremented foods are said to have a similar effect.

there is a story that the original shirota bacteria used in Yakult came from a dead body.....I can't find anywhere that conforms or denys this so just sayin'.

Atilla what @ThumbWitchesAbroad said. And gut bacteria are very important. If you've a moment, have a look at this, which I posted a few pages ago:

www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/what-your-gut-bacteria-say-your-health

Probiotics are good!

DH had the most awful smelling farts, like genuinely offensive, more so than usual, following a course of antibiotics. He took a week of probiotics and they were back to smelling normal. Still no rose garden but a damn sight better!

YABU

Avocado is hardly a trendy food and pomegranate is delicious in a salad, especially one that contains a salty cheese like halloumi.

@godmum56

Well, there's this from the BMJ:
www.bmj.com/content/361/bmj.k2179

But there obviously still a lot more to be discovered.

@Limer

In the spirit of cauliflower rice, I invented a dish last week called Rice Cauliflower. It's stir-fried rice with prawns, served in huge mounds, shaped to look like a cauliflower.

now THAT should be on Great British banquet. you could serve it in a "leaf cup" made from leaf shapes cut from sheets of spinach pasta.

Overnight oats is basically Bircher muesli, fannied about with a bit. It's not a new thing, it's been around for ages, but British people think it's new because we've been fobbed off with Alpen for years

Done properly it's lovely. Done badly, you could use it to hang your wallpaper.

PS can I nominate the 'savoury meat + waffle' trend? Why, just why?

I think it’s quite tasty and the waffle itself is not a sweet waffle. It’s not that different from having a savoury crepe.

Can I add any of the 'superfood powders' in overpriced sachets, lurking on the top shelf of the healthy ingredients aisle. Selling woo to the gullible. Just eat a range of fruit, veggies, proteins and carbs.
And a slightly sideways rant - every restaurant menu currently where the dishes listed are just a string of capitalised ingredients shouted at you. I have no idea what the dish is going to look or taste like, or how it has been cooked. And at £20 to £30 a pop I want at least a vague idea of what I am ordering. No wonder I eat our so rarely now! :-)

Sourdough is chewy and overrated.

Coconut water tasted like someone has trapped coconut in their bum sweat.

No space in my life for cupcakes made by unicorns and smothered in clown snot.

Wannabe meat is gross & overprocessed.

Vegetables masquerading as carbs: just have a small portion of pasta or rice. Life’s too short!

I would like to add to this the other fakes and dupes: artificial sweeteners, fake red colouring for red velvet cakes, fake chai lattes made from syrup bases, and just general fake fakeness. Gross!

[quote scottishnames]@godmum56

Well, there's this from the BMJ:
www.bmj.com/content/361/bmj.k2179

But there obviously still a lot more to be discovered.[/quote]
I absolutely get and understand the importance of healthy gut flora populations including fibre intake. What there doesn't seem to be evidence for (and that article states it too) is that there is little or no evidence for the efficacy of commercially produced and sold probiotics, eg yakult and so on.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I dare you to try the offerings of the Gluten Free Range.

You think you're angry now? Just wait until you've endured the abomination that claims to be a GF crumpet. It's like wallpaper paste has been left to ferment, then they've tipped off the majority of the black mould juice (although the number of sweaty mouldy GF products we've bought suggests they aren't even that careful about that stage), added the dregs of the bottom of a beehive afflicted by colony collapse disorder and then sat in five foot of foetid pondwater for three months, then set it all on fire before leaving it to sweat some more in the packaging for a further 15 weeks.

Or when you think 'Fuck it, I'll have some chips' only to find that the five different versions in the four supermarkets within walking distance have all decided that what everybody really wants all over their chips is some fucking wheatflour or fucking semolina.

I completely agree. Plus you’re asked to pay 4x the normal cost for the privilege of eating Gluten Free.

The one good thing is that you only get 4 g-f crumpets in a packet rather than the usual 6.

@mam0918 - I am not veggie/vegetarian but often eat veggie dishes when out as they are - or at least used to be - tastier and more varied than a lot of bog standard meat dishes. But recently using fake meat is just a lazy way of restaurants "catering" for non meat-eaters. I can see why you are annoyed by this.