Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

@DottyHarmer totally agree re deconstructed food. Really really irritates me. If I wanted a collection of ingredients I could do that myself. What I want when I go to a nice restaurant is pretty 'put-together' food so I can enjoy looking at it and eating the entirety of the dish all together rather than separate bits at a time.

I agree with most of this apart from Kimchi.
I make my own (smug) and people often ask for some. However, I do agree it’s not bloody coleslaw and shouldn’t be used as such

100% agree about the nonsense receptacle.

@Wishimaywishimight

Anything on a skewer. What's the point? As soon as it arrives on the plate you remove the skewer in order to eat it. Just arrange the stuff nicely on a plate rather than poking a stick through it.

Yes!

Especially the ones that are on a dangly skewer hanging there like a horse knob. How am I meant to eat that!?

Agree about cauliflower rice and courgetinni.

However, my mum grows kale on her alotment and it is delicious. However, I would never have it in a smoothie, which sounds vile.

I love avocado and quinoa too. My kids
Both think quinoa is horrid, even the one who eats everything. Mum and I like it.

bingbang Stop being so ageist - it's cheap and not a good look.

Lots of people here, young as well as old, are making really important points about the way in which the food industry is churning out very unhealthy, over-processed food and fake meats and cheeses in the name of old and honourable traditions: vegetarianism and veganism. And replacing 'honest' good- plain-ingredient baking with over-sweetened unhealthy-ingredient rubbish, designed to appeal to the eye rather than the taste-buds. And what's wrong with poking fun at pretentious menu-writing?

Good article by USA workers' welfare organisation on real - not imaginary - dangers of processed foods www.lhsfna.org/the-many-health-risks-of-processed-foods/

I'm old. But I love kale. Stir fried with mushrooms and garlic, plus black pepper and a tiny drop of tamari soy sauce, it's great. I like raw cauliflower (little florets to dip in hummus or blue cheese dip, instead of carrot sticks). I like avocado and quinoa, but am worried about the ethics of eating them. I like fresh raw herbs but am not keen on the texture of cooked nettles in soup. Lovage is tasty, but a little goes a long way. I like kimchi and sauerkraut; most we buy over here is pasteurised, but raw both are full of really healthy bugs. (It is said these boost immunity, can protect against cancer and have some influence on our weight and our mood: www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/what-your-gut-bacteria-say-your-health . I make tasty courgette fritters (gram flour, spring onions/garlic, cumin, cayenne or with egg, feta, mint and parsley. Thinly-sliced courgettes roasted in olive oil with other veg eg peppers and aubergine can also be very good.

I was making Bircher muesli 50 years ago, and the recipe we used then was lots of grated apples, a few chopped hazelnuts and/or sultanas, just a sprinkling of rolled oats (not soft porridge oat flakes) all soaked in apple juice overnight, topped just before serving with plain yoghurt or cream. Apples and nuts were the main ingredients, not oats.

We were served cake once, described on the tiny slate with chalk writing as "honey and thyme cake". Thought the icing had gone rancid and spat it out. Turns out it was goats cheese icing. "Don't you like goats' cheese?" says the nice lady. I bloody love goats' cheese, but not in icing! You mentioned the honey and the thyme (which a bloodhound would have struggled to detect), but not the goats' cheese!? No thanks.

I like courgettie 🤣 but agree with alot of gluten free stuff unfortunately I have sensitive guts so need to avoid gluten or keep it at a minimum. Gluten free wraps are grim, which is annoying as if I could find the ones made from corn I'd be ok but can not get hold of them to even try.

Inappropriately prepared food is not decent. None of these transform the foods into my preferences but they shouldn't be minging.

I suspect that the cauliflower rice hadn't been squeezed out if it's wet and it certainly shouldn't be reeking of sulphur so I doubt it's been salted properly.

Courgettes need to be salted and left to stand to extract the water then rinsed and dried assertively. Then you can cook them (it stops them parboiling in the oven rather than roasting or those bizarre noodle things are firmer).

Overnight oats do have to be those very thick flakes or they turn into grey goo that strips people of the will to live. They'd still never be my preference but wouldn't make me want to weep on a dreich morning unlike the goo.

I agree with so many of the other prejudices like coconut or aloe tho'.

99% of foods/supplements that claim to 'boost immunity' etc. Okay so there will be 'immune supportive' substances in most of them, but for the average person with a good diet, the immune system does not need 'boosted'. In fact, consuming high amounts of such foods/supplements can actually be harmful to immunity. I once heard vitamin supplements described by a scientist as 'very expensive urine' as they are largely expelled from the body unless the person's diet is ultra low in vitamins. But since those most likely to believe that they can 'boost their immune system' are already on a good diet, it is really a waste of money.
www.theguardian.com/science/2016/jan/24/health-foods-immune-system-colds-vitamins

Can I put in a bugbear of dressing up the sound of normal food, calling chips 'chunky', saying something is 'pan fried' or talking about 'crusty bread rolls' makes me sigh ...

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

I HATE cupcakes. What was wrong with the fairy cakes or butterfly cakes of my childhood, without the pounds of horrible buttercream? Some dribbly white icing and some hundreds and thousands and you've got a cake from heaven.

I would also put the Cadbury Creations bars into this Room 101 of trendy food. Why - WHY - would I adulterate chocolate with jelly beans? Or fucking Oreos? Or popcorn?

I'm not made for modern food life.

Yep, yep, this, this.

@Nomoresmoresthensnores

Wierd pie fillings for veggies. If I doesn't go with mash and gravy it isn't suitable. I've even see the dreaded quinoa in a pie. Why?

This! Why do they think all us veggies and vegans like trendy wanky foods? If I want a pie, I want a nice filling pie that will go with mash and gravy. I do like avocado but I'd maybe have it like once in a blue moon. I don't get all the hype with it. Its just OK Hate quinoa. Life is too short for that shit. Kombucha is bacteria water. Some are nice but most are shit. Its good for your tummy but that's only if you can not vomit while it's going down

In the spirit of cauliflower rice, I invented a dish last week called Rice Cauliflower. It's stir-fried rice with prawns, served in huge mounds, shaped to look like a cauliflower.

I like kimchi very much but will add my voice to the anti-cupcake and anti-slate/wood/flowerpots as plates movements.

@RiderGirl - I just looked at the Afternoon Tea menu and they have this listed:
‘Apple’ Cheesecake with Caramelised Apple & Pine Centre

Not sure why the apple needs to be in inverted commas - is it fake apple or what? Garden Juice sounds minging.

Dropping by to add to the cupcake hate. All that buttercream 🤢 horrible things no matter how pretty they look. Shudder.

stop saying it is sugar free and al natura but there is a mountain of honey and agave syrup.

I know because by glucose monitor goes into over drive!

Sourdough is shit when toasted - hard enough to break my teeth just give me decent toast that is chewable and charge me less.

weird flavoured tonic water - just keep it plain
weird favoured gins - I want to taste the juniper not artificaal coour and flavouring

@RiderGirl I think 'garden juice' must be in the same league as what I've always thought of as 'bin juice' - also referred to by Homer Simpson as 'garbage water'.

Brioche buns on burgers! They are sweet, what was wrong with a plain bread bun?
Also it being served on a plank of wood with chips in a 'bucket'....there's this great invention called a plate, it fits everything in one place so less washing up!

Yes - been saying about Sriracha sauce from the start. It’s marketing hype. Nicer tasting hot sauces with fewer additives are available.

I truly, genuinely, love both kale and quinoa. At times when I haven't been able to eat them (medically restricted diet), I've missed both of them terribly!

However, I agree on bleeding vegan burgers (never, just... never), fake rice, cupcakes, and foam.

I didn’t know that Cauliflower rice and courgetti were trendy. I thought they were something that low carb eaters ate as a necessary evil.

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

Joystir59

Nah, oysters are delicious.

Arguably, they're just massive bogies in a hard carry case.

Yup. Or as I put it, "Snot-on-Sea".