Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

I actually know someone who does sometimes cook food in the firebox of a steam engine. (Volunteer on a steam railway.) He still doesn't serve it in a shovel; to quote Cabin Pressure, "He's eccentric, not insane."

Also, for fellow fairy cake fans, try making the icing with lemon juice, not water. Better than any cupcake ever. (Hopefully this is not trendy.)

Caviar. You are fortunate these days if it pops in your mouth. My friend paid several hundred pounds for what was obviously the bottom of the tin in an exclusive restaurant.

Marrowbone or bone marrow. Who wants to suck the marrow out of a bone, Hannibal Lector? Also cod cheeks, who knew cod had cheeks to die for!

The abomination that is curly fries.

@theDudesmummy

Fresh made cauliflower rice isn't too bad, and I like cauliflower "steaks", but I think you have to be quite a fan of cauliflower (I am).

To be clear, I really like cauliflower. In its rightful place on a roast dinner or in a cheese sauce.

Not when its pretending to be rice or, worse, a chicken wing.

Plant based as a label is much much better than the awful "meatless" which was briefly tried a few years ago and sounds so unappetising.

It is bizarre though and people don't seem to understand what it means. Someone on here was looking for "plant based pasta" the other day. Pasta is made of plants (wheat) unless you go for egg pasta. It turned out she meant low carb, which is a different thing.

I believe it's because being certified vegan or vegetarian is an expensive and restrictive process, and marketing wise plant based has a wider appeal, in appealing to actual veggies and vegans, but also meat eaters who want to eat healthily or try an alternative. Apparently the label vegan or vegetarian puts some people off because they think you have to be vegan to eat it :o which is quite a stretch, in line with people getting angry that baked beans are halal certified. Of course they are, they don't contain any meat!

I agree OP except about avocados which are not alright. They are horrible.

Totally agree about vegan food made to be like meat. I have been veggie for most of my life and am quite pissed off now that it has become so difficult to get good veggie food because everything is vegan pretending to be meat which I don't like. Even pizzas now have horrible vegan cheese on. I hate that places like KFC now do a vegan option, totally jumping on the bandwagon. What actual ethical vegan would spend money in KFC??
Also agree it is macaroni cheese not mac n cheese which winds me up no end.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned red velvet cake, apologies if I have missed it. It is just chocolate cake with a load of food dye. What is the point??

@NinaDefoe

Crushed Avocados (seasoned with garlic) with a runny poached egg on Sourdough toast. Pea shoots on the side.

The runny egg mixed with the garlicky avocado mush looks and tastes disgusting.
Sourdough toast is tough as an old boot & enough to remove fillings.
The spiky Pea shoots taste nice but I hate the texture.

Worst breakfast ever.

Pea shoots are the most pointless salad item after cress. Too small to really add anything and just another excuse to charge £££ for wankery.

Kale. I remember that it used to cattle feed.
Cauliflower rice
Anything served on slates, bits of wood etc

@ClariceQuiff

The abomination that is curly fries.

I can't stand curly fries. Always soggy and the seasoning is horrible.

I've never understood why they're seen as an upgrade.

They seem to have been replaced with sweet potato fries now, which have potential but are so hard to get right.

@LaurenKelsey

I agree 100%. I’d rather skip a meal than eat that crap! Green juices. Yuck!!

Related: green smoothies. Basically a normal smoothie, with added kale.

As mentioned upthread,I quite like kale. Particularly with my own bodyweight in butter and garlic. I also quite like smoothies.

The two together? Looks like Shrek, tastes like mud, leaves bits in your teeth.

Why? Just why??

Green sad water LOL sorry that made me laugh out loud.
I really hate every other person on IG is baking so much from home and selling them etc sorry I'm not paying £15 for a box of amateur brownies. Just no.

@110APiccadilly

I actually know someone who does sometimes cook food in the firebox of a steam engine. (Volunteer on a steam railway.) He still doesn't serve it in a shovel; to quote Cabin Pressure, "He's eccentric, not insane."

Also, for fellow fairy cake fans, try making the icing with lemon juice, not water. Better than any cupcake ever. (Hopefully this is not trendy.)

My brother used to be a volunteer fireman on a heritage steam railway and I think he would've drawn the line, too. Certainly he would only have done it once!

I love proper kimchi, but I was eating it before it was trendy and some of the stuff I’ve seen calling itself kimchi since is an abomination.
Brioche buns for burgers, sweet potato fries and cauliflower rice can all get in the bin as far as I’m concerned, which coincidentally is exactly where it all ended up after I was daft enough to buy it.

Wasn't there a trend a while back for cooking salmon in the dishwasher?

Ugh. Why?? Just use the fucking oven and stop being so pretentious. No-one wants salmon seasoned with Finish.

@LokiDoki75

I love proper kimchi, but I was eating it before it was trendy and some of the stuff I’ve seen calling itself kimchi since is an abomination. Brioche buns for burgers, sweet potato fries and cauliflower rice can all get in the bin as far as I’m concerned, which coincidentally is exactly where it all ended up after I was daft enough to buy it.

I like kimchi.

For me it falls into the "foreign" category not the "trendy" one.

And, key point, its not pretending to be pasta or rice.

This thread is the reason I ended up in the kitchen at 1am, and now have toast crumbs in the bed.

Did I top it with avocado? No. No I did no. I topped it with butter and marmite, as God and nature intended.

I had no idea what Foie Gras was until recently, and was utterly horrified. Thankfully, I have never eaten this.

The production of foie gras is so cruel and horrifying that it has been banned in 16 countries. ... it is the force-feeding of birds (via metal tube stuffed into their throats), that causes the birds' livers to become diseased and swell up to 10 times their normal size. The diseased liver is foie gras, and restaurants include it on their menus as a “delicacy.”

WTF.

This thread is like a shit comedian holding thrall on a cruise ship full of xenophobic pensioners.

I love brioche for burgers, a recently attended corporate event had a load of meats, cheeses and breads burrrrrggh.

Some of these things are trendy and stupid but a lot of them are just normal food from other cultures (kimchi? Ramen? Sushi?) and slagging them off just turns the thread into a parochial rant about things that are forrin.

Sriracha isn’t expensive. If you’re paying a fiver for a small bottle then they saw you coming.

Agree with almost everything @OP; except imo avocados are great. They have been a staple of mine for over 40 years -- so they're not 'trendy' for me.

I like cauliflower rice, but just because I like cauliflower. Cauliflower rice is often suggested to be mixed with rice, rather than instead of rice.
And:
cauliflower rice +
melty cheese on top
= not bad at all. 👍

Sweet potato/ Kumera -yuck, yuck, yuck but so utterly loved here
Pomegranate - in everything in restaurants, I don’t want it slimily drizzled in my salad….. to be a seedy slimeball on vegetables
Beetroot - it’s not a Kiwi thing it’s just revolting, stop putting soil tasting nastiness on burgers it’s annoying, also don’t want it in other dishes, if you must grow it give it to the cows for winter feed.
Quinoa - I agree with all the haters …..
Stop smearing sauces on my plate… am not five and can eat something without a smear of sauce… makes me want to ask if they washed the plate thoroughly before serving my dish

Kombucha is bin juice from July.