Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

If you want to eat less carbs just have a smaller portion of real carbs (rice, pasta etc) and have more tasty veggies on your plate. BTW kale used to just be used as animal feed.

I like courgettes - grilled or pan fried with equally grilled/pan fried peppers and onions. But go away with your courgette spaghetti replacements.

Kale - it needs fat. Pancetta is great with it.

Stop putting kale or beetroot into all kind of juice drinks. It's so hard to get a decent smoothie anymore.

Overnight oats - sorry, that looks just like puke. I don't care how healthy it may be, just make a porridge in the morning.

Stop replacing all vegetarian dishes with vegan ones. I am a meat eater but do like some vegetarian dishes, especially when they come with cheese. So hard to get anymore. I do like vegan food but for me it's not something I want to order in a restaurant.

The advertisment for Plant based food. Lots is processed and full of sugar, fat and stuff I am not sure I really want to eat. I don't enjoy processed meat, why should I change to processed vegan/veggie food as my main food source?

Most vegan ‘cheese’ is just sat fat with no calcium and no taste. It’s not healthy

@Ohyesiam

Cauliflower rice and courgetti are a means to an end, rather than a delicious dish. Thanks to them I’ve lost 30lb and look HOT. Worth it to me.

Love this! Good on you, Sista! 👏👏👏

Food on boards or slates. Plates have a lip for a reason. I don’t want dressing running off onto my lap!

Plant based terminology. What’s wrong with vegetarian or vegan? Annoys me that there is often meat or vegan and no vegetarian because restaurants can’t be bothered to offer both and lump everyone together.

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

I've never had bubble tea but I bet that's disgusting, too. Like frogspawn coming up through your straw

It's exactly like that. I have a child with sensory processing disorder relating to food and this is literally the only thing I have ever discouraged him from trying. He vomits up banana ffs. I cannot even imagine the carnage bubble tea will cause.

Kale is actually really nice if you quickly deep fry it and add Chinese salt and pepper seasoning to make your own crispy seaweed.

Kinda defeats the point of eating kale though 😂

Open sandwiches what’s the point of them?!

Yes! The announcement that everything is ‘plant based’ drives me bonkers!
How vague?! I do eat meat but I like to cut down and it drives me nuts that so many of the options are some bizarre ‘plant based’ item with a list of ingredients as long as my arm.
Fruit and vegetables are tasty, nuts, soybeans, whatever other additions are tasty, why are all these plant-based things made of 3 paragraphs-worth of unrecognisable ingredients. It really puts me off.

(While I’m on the topic I hate names like ‘sheese’ for vegan cheese. Not everything veggie or vegan has to have a name that sounds like the mon-vegan alternative. Come up with a more original, less creepy name for goodness sake!)

Wasabi WTF!
Vegan cheese
Alcohol chocolate taste like the devils arse

Also coconut water ( not just for the dodgy way it’s harvested) it’s horrible in my opinion.

Foams on anything. So gross. Why would anyone want their dinner covered in what looks like chef’s spittle?

Don't mind cauliflower rice, but I fry it with oil and spices, so it doesn't taste like cauliflower, sometimes chuck some desiccated coconut in to give it a nutty bite.

Sourdough bread, its only fit for turning into panzanella, even then I let it marinate overnight so it doesn't graze my gums.

Anything with "foam" on it.
All high end food is laden with butter, oil and fat. I'm surprised they don't cause massive heart attacks. No wonder all the TV gourmands look so
Unhealthy and sallow.
Pretentious serving vessels. If anyone gives me food on a board I send it back and ask for a proper plate. Absolute rubbish.
I once suffered burns from being served very hot casement on a board. As soon as I cut into the skin I got a cascade of boiling cheese on my lap.

I'm suspicious of any 'vegan' food that's come out of a processing factory. If I want vegetables then I want real, recognisable, vegetables not flavoured retextured soya scrapings. I have a feeling they're probably as unhealthy as an ordinary sausage or burger.

Oh dear, I actually love most of the things mentioned on this thread! 🙈

Even bubble tea - I used to drink it 15 years ago when I lived abroad before it was trendy!

I do draw the line at courgetti though. Absolutely pointless sad wet slop that bears no resemblance to spaghetti.

Wholeheartedly agree. “Plant based” - what a stupid term. There’s an aisle of the stuff in Waitrose which they plug constantly - and it’s always got reduced for clearance stickers on. I do not want to eat Frankenstein food full of additives flown in from god knows where and mushed into something resembling something else.

There is plenty of nice vegetarian - nay, vegan - food that you can make with VEGETABLES that are home grown. And I know restaurants probably can’t be doing with the hassle of vegetarian and vegan offerings, but wholly vegan food is often just not very nice and whereas I might have chosen a vegetarian dish, I really don’t want to have beetroot quinoa on a night out.

@WitchWithoutChips

Some of these things are trendy and stupid but a lot of them are just normal food from other cultures (kimchi? Ramen? Sushi?) and slagging them off just turns the thread into a parochial rant about things that are forrin.

Sriracha isn’t expensive. If you’re paying a fiver for a small bottle then they saw you coming.

Agree 100% I was thinking the same

Those tapioca pearls aren't easy to digest, either. I remember reading about a bubble tea addict who had to have a blockage surgically removed.

I don’t think some people realise that you have to chew them!

Agree OP. Cauliflower is an inoffensive vegetable, in fact I quite like cauliflower cheese.
It isnt
A suitable base for a pizza
Rice
Steak
Anyone who pays £2 for a slice of cauliflower labelled as a steak, when you can buy a whole one for less than a £1 , or pays a silly amount in a gastropub for a cauliflower steak must be bonkers!!

Best thread EVER !

Avocado - green mush
Bubble tea - frogspawn
Vegan cheese - it’s not cheese

It's not new or trendy but I can't entertain the idea of "posset" as a dessert. I just think it's going to be a bowl of baby puke.

burnt butter has been around for years called browned butter or "beurre noir" if you want to be "classically trained chef" wanky. It makes an excellent sauce base for savory foods (rai ay beurre noir) and a tasty cookie.
But yes, like salted caramel, its the stick it on bloody everything brigade who have ruined it.