Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

Lettuce wrapped burgers have been around for years and years. I can't stand iceberg lettuce, especially when it's warm so usually just opt for the burger with no bun.

I'm sure someone on The Great Australian Bake Off made a cake with cauliflower in it last week. 🤮

I threw out some dry aged carrots earlier, are fossilised sprouts and squelchy swede also on the menu? If only I’d known!
I like vegetables, I like meat and cheese, I don’t like plant-based fake meat and plastic cheese, why?
Ds calls those microwave burgers dirty burgers, because they’re dirty, I’m not aware of the pretentious version.

@AtleastitsnotMonday

My issue is with calling food dirty. ‘Dirty Fries’ ‘Dirty Mac n Cheese’ (its macaroni cheese too, put that’s another issue) ‘Dirty burgers’

Why? dirty is not a word I want to hear around food!

I think pomegranate in salads are great nought!

Agree... hate dirty fries

I have coeliac disease… I fucking loathe gluten-free breads/biscuits/pastas, etc… If I’m going to a friend’s for dinner I specifically request that they don’t buy them especially because they’re vile and I won’t eat them. Happy to make my own food, eat plain meat and salad (a-La keto) or go without.

@DreamTheMoors

You mean like this?

@DreamTheMoors Awful - it looks like someone dropped the plate in the kitchen moments before taking it out and...... kerching! had a Dragons Den business plan......

I don't get anything 'plant based'. It all looks very processed and unhealthy.

I will bet my last ranch steak that Vegan/plant based meals will be headlines news in a few years to found to be carcinogenic....

Vinegar drinks. Accidentally bought one the other day - mint and matcha. It was like drinking mint sauce. Which I love with roast lamb but do not want to drink out of a can!

I agree 100%. I’d rather skip a meal than eat that crap! Green juices. Yuck!!

I don’t mind a lettuce wrap instead of bread on a sandwich. That’s about the limit of my tolerance.

I absolutely coconut water and chia pudding. And avocado (I did grow up eating it every day though so that may have something to do with it). I also love water kefir and milk kefir (basically drinking yoghurt) and certain kombuchas but not others.

I have never ordered anything with "foam" but pictures of it are certainly off-putting.

@OhWhyNot
But coconut water out of a freshly opened coconut is divine!

Beetroot on burgers is a weird and slightly charming New Zealand thing but really should have stayed there.

Red velvet cake? Just chocolate cake with red food colouring. So disappointing.

Some of the stuff in your list tastes better when it’s fresh. I’ll always prefer real spaghetti and rice to courgetti and cauliflower rice, but when I do eat the latter, it has to be freshly cut/grated myself, not from packets.

Overnight oats done right are actually delicious.

Coconut water in tetrapaks is gross but from real coconuts is quite nice.

I do agree the trend for replacing vegetarian food with plant-based foods is often a big flop. Shwarma chicken looks particularly awful.

Avocado taste like a mushy blowjob

Should have said I love coconut water and chia pudding!

Fresh made cauliflower rice isn't too bad, and I like cauliflower "steaks", but I think you have to be quite a fan of cauliflower (I am).

@WineGetsMeThroughIt, the house specialty here is dry aged parsnip.

YYY to the shakes with all sorts of food you would never otherwise eat. And good call on the overnight oats.

I also hate sweet potato fries.

@Justilou1

I have coeliac disease… I fucking loathe gluten-free breads/biscuits/pastas, etc… If I’m going to a friend’s for dinner I specifically request that they don’t buy them especially because they’re vile and I won’t eat them. Happy to make my own food, eat plain meat and salad (a-La keto) or go without.

I'm sensitive to wheat and I agree some gluten free foods are awful (crumpets and pancakes are particularly bad), but gluten free pasta is really good, I serve it to family and they can't tell the difference between GF and normal pasta.

Some GF bread brands are good too, Juvela is really nice.

I don't get all the plant-based hate... I guess since all the vegan junk food is often labelled as "plant-based", that's now what people think plant-based means?

I eat plant-based, and for me that means things like bircher muesli, tofu scramble with spinach or kale and mushrooms, pesto hummus on toast with salad, lentil stews, lentil and bean chilli, stir-fries... and some processed stuff too, but not too much - because of course that stuff isn't going to be mega healthy, in the same way that you wouldn't go for ready meals or fast food and expect that to be healthy, right?

Anyway... to get back to the main point of the thread, there are so many foods here that I love!

• Bubble tea, matcha, avocado (you need to season this properly though! one way I like is mixing in sliced spring onion), and overnight oats (another one that took me a while to work out, but I now love it!)

What I'm not a fan of though is food served on totally random objects or very science-based cooking methods like you'd see on Masterchef and/or tiny plates for a hugely inflated price.

@DoingsSophie

Great thread, but um… are there really cheese and marmite hot cross buns out there? They sound amazing

Marks and Spencers

@TheUnexpectedPickle

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

Of your list: Cauliflower rice is fine if it's not boiled or over-steamed. Best fried/sautéed, in my opinion. Courgetti should also be fried, preferable in butter and olive oil. Pomegranate is nice in a green salad, as is apple and watermelon (not altogether, probably...) - but I have no time for mango or satsuma.

Avocados have to be just right in terms of ripeness. to be any good.

Sriracha - well, I don't "do" hot sauce of any kind so no comment.
Overnight oats are not something I've even heard of, let alone tried! So I'll take your word for that.

My addition is salted caramel and salted chocolate. Just No. And it's bloody everywhere these days!
Also peanut butter - disgusting gross stuff. Even worse with chocolate.

@Nomoresmoresthensnores

I'm really old but I don't get 'bottomless brunch'. Really ordinary chain pub type places do it. Who's going to be sitting in there eating crappy fry up with endless prosecco?

I would, that sounds great right now!

@WineGetsMeThroughIt

Ah I thought of the other random weird trendy things that make me wonder 'but why!?!?' Not necessarily because I don't like the flavour. But more so, I just don't understand these fads.

Mushroom coffee
Turmeric lattes
Smoothie bowls (why can't I just drink it?)
Oat bowls with loads of chocolate and caramel on them and trying to pass it off as healthy.

I've not tried mushroom coffee but it makes me think of my Saturday job in a canteen style restaurant in a department store. The mushrooms were freeze dried and we steamed them to life (yum). They were supposed to be cooked in a tin that had holes in so we could drain them off, but no-one could ever find it so they ended up in a solid one, floating in mushroomy water that looked and smelled like wee.

We all referred to them as "pishrooms"

Crushed Avocados (seasoned with garlic) with a runny poached egg on Sourdough toast. Pea shoots on the side.

The runny egg mixed with the garlicky avocado mush looks and tastes disgusting.
Sourdough toast is tough as an old boot & enough to remove fillings.
The spiky Pea shoots taste nice but I hate the texture.

Worst breakfast ever.

And foams. Glad they seem to have passed by now. It always looked like someone had gobbed on your plate.

I always thought it looked like it came out of a different opening.

Salt in puddings, yes I know a pinch of salt makes sweet pastry taste better but I don't want to taste salt in my pudding.

Also 'salted caramel' you mean you forgot to buy unsalted butter and used it for caramel anyway?

I'm currently watching the Great Bristish Menu and there are so many really tenuous links to the 'brief', if you are not watching the brief is "100 years of broadcasting" which give you loads of options.

So far two different "fishfingers and custard", but so many missed opportunities.