To be angry at my best friend

[1gem86]

Sorry it's a long one. I would love your opinions on this ..

Been friends with her for over 10 years.

She got married recently and I was her maid of honour. Organised her 2 Hens, helped her plan every aspect of her wedding etc. (At this point I had a young baby and I was juggling sleepless nights, trying to be a good mum, partner & a good friend at the same time) because she's my best friend I just did it all. Left my baby with my partner for 4 nights to attend her hen do etc (which I didn't minds as that's what friends do .. even though it was extremely hard to leave DS behind)

I'm getting married soon & she's just announced to me that she'll be heavily pregnant at my wedding or have a young baby by that point so she won't be attending anymore and has dropped her role of being maid of honour... she also won't be attending or plan my hen anymore 😐

I don't mind the not organising the hen anymore as my other friends can do it but The wedding is 40 mins from where she lives... shouldn't she make the effort to come? Or at least plan to and see where she is by then? I've said to her that if she has a baby .. we'll be more than happy for them to bring the baby and will go out of our way to accommodate.. but she said NO ! Decision made & her baby is now the most important in her life. Which I get .. I have a DS too and he's the most important for me but I would still make effort for a friend.
AIBU to be angry? Or would you do the same?

She sounds a shit friend OP and you deserve better. Just leave her. She will face the repercussions of this kind of behaviour when baby is older and she is wanting to get a semblance of social life back again and finds that all her old mates have fucked off because of her ill treatment of them

@JellybabyGina87

Most women wouldn't leave their baby for 4 nights. I find that more unusual than her not wanting to attend your wedding to be honest. She should go your wedding if there's no travel involved or overnight stays but I don't think you should expect her to commit to it as you did to hers as I don't think many mothers would. You have your priorities all wrong.

@JellybabyGina87 Has she? I’m sure OP didn’t leave her child in the park. I’m sure her child was well cared for. Mumsnet can be so black and white at times. You can still prioritise your baby whilst also still being a good friend. Yes, that might mean leaving baby overnight with people who you know will care for them eg their dad or another family member

The reason I am angry with her is that whilst I was planning it all for her she used to say "ohh your turn after mine & can't wait to plan it all .. I have soo many ideas " - which put lots of pressure on me to get it right for her.

She played a blinder there, but you have her measure now.

She will absolutely expect you to throw her a baby shower and fuss over and the new baby, but I agree with everyone else, don't make a fuss, do the bare minimal.

I gave birth to my son (now 17) 15 days after I was matron of honour at my oldest friend's wedding. Which was held in Wales, and we live 500 miles apart. It's do-able (even if my outfit wasn't exactly what she wanted due to my size). My son was also over due by 8 days,

My daughter was her flower girl and we always joked that she had a little page boty who just hadn't been born yet. Plans were made in case I went into labour. We worked around it. Because this old friend of mine? Is genuinely like a sister to me.

Yours, OP? Not so much, I'm afraid. As other posters have suggested, her behaviour smacks of a jealousy and a superiority to you. She's not a friend.

I went to a wedding in Switzerland. The bride was Argentinian. Her best friend flew from Argentina with her brand new baby- less than a week old!!