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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:

TheCatThatWalkedAlone · 22/02/2022 02:33

Sadly I say buy the house.
Prices might rise considerably over the next two years outpacing your savings.
Don’t risk being priced out of your dream home!

Using4532 · 22/02/2022 04:03

OP reads like a badly written book or film

NinaDefoe · 22/02/2022 06:47

@Using4532

OP reads like a badly written book or film

Must admit I thought the same! 🤭

The Forever House Fund
Memories
Forever home
Dream area
Lovely schools and activities for the DC
Quality time
Dream family home
No death bed regrets
Precious hindsight

Beautiful3 · 22/02/2022 07:18

No. House first. House prices rise all.of the time.

Floydthebarber · 22/02/2022 07:40

Buy the house. Think back to your own childhoods. Are your memories of elaborate holidays or of moments all playing a board game together, or an unexpected trip to a great playground, or having friends round for an afternoon in a lovely inviting house?

snocopops · 22/02/2022 07:59

Buy the house, save a bit more to go travelling, then tenant the house while you're away to pay the mortgage 🙂

Sceptre86 · 22/02/2022 08:04

I think the general concensus is buy the house. In one to two years you might get priced out of the area and being in a good catchment area will serve your kids better than travelling at this time.

DrSbaitso · 22/02/2022 08:31

You can always travel later, and it'll be easier, more fun and more memorable if you do it when the kids are older. The way house prices are running away, though, you can't always buy later.

DillonPanthersTexas · 22/02/2022 09:08

When I went overlanding around Africa I met quite a few families (mostly Dutch) who had taken a year off and were home schooling their kids. Generally we did not meet any kids under the age of 8. To be honest I was impressed with how much these kids had soaked up their surroundings be it languages, wildlife, food and camp craft. These kids were not just passengers in the car, they all had assigned responsibilities and were very much part of the team. I am still in touch with one family who ended up driving in convoy with for a few weeks and their kids are now late teens and I have seen absolutely nothing to suggest that a year out hindered them in any way.

Rtw2019 · 22/02/2022 09:11

Do both! We bought the house first and then went travelling with our kids for a year funded in part by money from renting the house out.

Tigersonvaseline · 22/02/2022 09:13

If dc older I'd Go for it but they are too young

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/02/2022 09:13

With the parlous state the world is in I’d stay home and buy the house.

TinyTear · 22/02/2022 09:38

@MyWonderwall

you say the children are 5,3 and 9 months.

THEY WILL NOT REMEMBER the travel, the 'memories' will be for you.

I have a 6 year old who doesn't remember live before Covid, she doesn't remember going to breakfast club, she doesn't remember going places wihtout mummy wearing a mask, she doesn't remember not having to fuss about sanitiser...

Buy the house or go travel - but do not pretend it's for the kids - it's for you only and your wish for travel, NOT for the kids...

ivykaty44 · 22/02/2022 10:45

Just curious as to how many of you travelled when you you were 5 and do you remember anything at all about travelling?

I can remember a lot about packing up and going travelling in Europe when I was 5 years old.

Notjustanymum · 22/02/2022 11:02

House - preferably not a do-er upper - then save for a big holiday in the summer holidays in 5 - 6 years time. The 9-month old will then have something to remember, as well as the older two, and the eldest will be able to look back at their break between Primary and Secondary schools as a happy memorable line between childhood and adolescence.

SoupDragon · 22/02/2022 11:23

@ivykaty44

Just curious as to how many of you travelled when you you were 5 and do you remember anything at all about travelling?

I can remember a lot about packing up and going travelling in Europe when I was 5 years old.

How about from when you were 3 or 9 months old?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 22/02/2022 11:27

@ivykaty44

Just curious as to how many of you travelled when you you were 5 and do you remember anything at all about travelling?

I can remember a lot about packing up and going travelling in Europe when I was 5 years old.

My DDs have only vague memories of the country they lived in from 2-4 and 4-6. Like a toy they had or what their school lunch was like. Firmer memories of the country they lived in from 4-6 and 6-8. They are now 9&10. What they learnt stuck with them, such as getting on with new people, but not specifics.

mimbleandlittlemy · 22/02/2022 11:32

House. My ds doesn't remember anything of the lovely trips we did to amazing places when he was 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 - flashes of memory but nothing huge. First trip he really remembers is when he was about to go in to Y5 and he has a very good memory for stuff. He remembered them at the time and talked about them after for perhaps 18 months or so but he doesn't remember them now (19). My sister and b-i-l went to India with their kids when they were 4 and 6 - nope, nothing now they are older.

A house is far, far more important.

ivykaty44 · 22/02/2022 15:36

How about from when you were 3 or 9 months old?

We didn’t go travelling when I was 3 or 9 months old , I was 5 when we went travelling for the first time

SoupDragon · 22/02/2022 17:42

@ivykaty44

How about from when you were 3 or 9 months old?

We didn’t go travelling when I was 3 or 9 months old , I was 5 when we went travelling for the first time

The point is that it doesn't matter what people remembered at 5 given 2 of the OP's children are younger than that. It's pointless going travelling.

What do you remember from when you were 3 or 9 months old? I bet it isn't much at all.

MintyFreshBreath · 22/02/2022 18:33

Buy the house. House prices are increasing massively and you can always save up again for the trip.

Original poster

MyWonderwall · 22/02/2022 18:57

Thank you all for your comments I’ve read every single comment! I’ve had a little drive around the new area today as well to help make my mind up, still absolutely love the place.

OP posts:

notanothertakeaway · 22/02/2022 19:40

Buy the house. If you travel now, kids won't remember the trip

When children are older, perhaps consider renting the house out, and travelling for a bit

ivykaty44 · 22/02/2022 21:27

The point is that it doesn't matter what people remembered at 5 given 2 of the OP's children are younger than that. It's pointless going travelling.

it not always all or nothing, life isn't always equal or ideal
as for pointless travelling, its not just about two of the family members memories its about all 5 of them travelling and it can really change your perspective to go travelling as a family and alter how you live together in the future.

Cocogreen · 22/02/2022 22:06

Good luck with your decision OP.
I'd just like to add that the idea of travel and being away from routine is probably looking especially tempting because you're knee deep in early childhood which is so relentless!

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