Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:
WouldIwasShookspeared · 21/02/2022 20:48

And in terms of memories - whose?
Your 5 yr old might have vague memories but your 3 yr old and 9 month old won't remember a thing.

And your memories will be the year from hell travelling with 3 young children

SilverOtter · 21/02/2022 20:48

I'd definitely buy the house, and plan the travelling for when they will enjoy and remember it.

We went to Canada when I was seven. I have hazy memories but my two younger siblings do not remember anything at all.

Beamur · 21/02/2022 20:50

Your kids won't remember it. A nice home however will give them security and grounding.
Your time with them though, is precious, maximise that if you can.

MargaretThursday · 21/02/2022 20:50

You won't be making memories for them at those ages. You may be making memories for you,

With the way house prices are going up, you could easily find that if you go travelling for a year (and that's assuming you can with your jobs) that you come back to find house prices are now out of your range, your 5yo (and possibly your 3yo depending on when their birthday is) have no school place and you have no jobs.

I know someone who that happened to (although the children were a little older) and the children found the stress on the return was far more long lasting than the enjoyment of the holiday.

FourCandelabras · 21/02/2022 20:51

Buy the dream house. Security! Travel when they’re older!

buckleten · 21/02/2022 20:53

Your children are way, way too young to remember at the moment! Mine don't remember really a trip we did to australia and NZ when they were 6 and 8!

BrassCandlestick · 21/02/2022 20:54

You can't buy memories. They just happen.

I took my (then) 5yo all over the place travelling (not to 'make memories', we just happened to be living that life). She doesn't remember any of it, even when shown photos. So you'd be going for yourself, not the kids.

If you can spare the time then why not homeschool them for a year while you get started on your new house, and introduce them to new experiences and an alternative lifestyle that way.

Brett239 · 21/02/2022 20:55

Buy the house and make the memories in 4 - 6 years when your kids are old enough to actually remember. I would not waste a house deposit.

Kendodd · 21/02/2022 20:56

Don't travel now, covid means it's still difficult. Buy the house, save two years, rent house out for a year, then go.

FiftyStoriesHigh · 21/02/2022 20:57

Kids have weirdly selective memories of holidays. Basically you can do a holiday for three days or two weeks and they’ll take the same away from it so I’d just recommend frequent breaks. Buy a camper van and go every other weekend.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/02/2022 20:57

If the house of your dreams (with great schools) is within your reach now, buy it now.

I must say I don't seriously believe any mother of three children 5 and under would choose to take them travelling for a year in the situation you describe.

tootiredtospeak · 21/02/2022 20:57

No seriously just no. Not at 9 5 and 3 months. Get the house and start saving again the kids will enjoy it so much more in another 3 or 4 years.

Puppylucky · 21/02/2022 21:00

Ok I'm a lone voice here but I say go traveling first! Haven't read the full thread but buying a house isn't a single transaction - it's commiting to a long term responsibility. You have to maintain it, rent it out etc. We did it the other way round - so bought the big family house and then travelled and it was tough. The house was always looming in the background as a worry and a responsibility that had to be dealt with regardless of where we were in the world.

Bingomangoes · 21/02/2022 21:00

House. Kids don't actually like travelling especially in the heat, I know a couple of families who've done this with pre-schoolers and although I was jealous before they went I wasn't jealous when I heard the reality. The kids won't remember it, go when they're older, I know another family who took their's for a year out at the end of Primary school and that trip sounded amazing.

givethatbabyaname · 21/02/2022 21:01

Memories? For whom? And exactly what kinds of memories for each person involved?

Nothing wrong with doing something unconventional. Just be reasonable about it.

newusername2009 · 21/02/2022 21:06

Go travelling! As the kids get older it will be more difficult to just pick up and go!

NeverChange · 21/02/2022 21:06

House.

Holidays are fun but living out of suitcases for a year is not fun.

princesssparklepants · 21/02/2022 21:07

A dear friend did something similar.
Sold house and most belongings to go travelling with kids. School aged.

They were gone for 6 months. And although they had an excellent time and the kids loved every minute, it wasn't without stress! The kids craved stability and they found it difficult with no childcare support 24/7

They also regret selling the house.

So buy your dream house, save for a couple of years. Rent your place out and then do it.

BeringBlue · 21/02/2022 21:08

Definitely buy the house. We didn't take our (now 13-year-old) son on holiday until he was 7, and he only has vague (but good) memories of it. But in the past year we have been on two three-night breaks with a 5-day road trip planned soon and now he is excited about travel. *Disclaimer: we have always lived in traditional holiday hotspots - in the UK and now in France.

SelkieQualia · 21/02/2022 21:08

I'm definitely taking my kids out of school for a year to go travelling, but I'm going to wait until both kids are well into primary school. I want them to be able to understand what's going on. At an older age, they can start to appreciate a wider range of activities.

Candleabra · 21/02/2022 21:12

House.
Stability first then go travelling when they’re older.

Whatwouldnanado · 21/02/2022 21:12

Definitely buy the house. Travel with the kids when they are old enough to remember it and enjoy it to the full.

daisychain01 · 21/02/2022 21:13

You'd be nuts spending the house money on a holiday.

SpidersAreShitheads · 21/02/2022 21:16

Another one here saying the children are too young to enjoy it - and I think you'll find it more stressful than you realise with a small baby in tow.

Buy the house now, especially as prices are rising. If you wait a couple of years you might be priced out of that dream move.

However, you don't need to settle down to a life of conformity in the meantime. Why not home educate? It's the perfect lead into a year or two travelling, and they can return to traditional schooling when they're older if that suits.

I have 12 yr old DC (twins) and we home educate now (various reasons). They were at school until they were 10 and have been at home for last two years. It's a huge amount of fun and the combination of traditional schooling and the freedom of home education is a brilliant mix.

Solo · 21/02/2022 21:16

Definitely buy the house. As a PP said, the children won't remember the trips anyway, so take them when they are older. I took my Ds to Bali, Australia, and Singapore when he was 3 years old and he has no memory of any of it.