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Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:
MotherOfCrocodiles · 21/02/2022 21:42

I wouldn't even shell out for a caravan holiday with my kids (same ages) b3cause they are so restrictive. Now us not the time to go travelling!

Easy for me to say as I did travel before kids but... don't do the blow out holiday at these ages. You'll spend the whole time looking for play parks, be in bed at 9 and the kids won't remember it.

LizzieSiddal · 21/02/2022 21:42

Buy dream house
Live in it for a year or two and save for the trip
When on the trip, rent dream home out.
Come back to dream home and enjoy life.

formalineadeline · 21/02/2022 21:42

I lost my mum young too. The memories that are precious to me are the everyday ones. Of time spent feeling safe and loved. They are valuable even if they're not insta-winning.

TatianaBis · 21/02/2022 21:43

I have great memories of the house we moved to when I was 4. I'm not sure I would have enjoyed travelling at that age.

Really18 · 21/02/2022 21:44

I went to bognor with my two. They were 6 month and 2 at the time. Do you have any idea how much shit you need to carry? It a lot.

dworky · 21/02/2022 21:45

I would travel. You will never get that time back with your children as they grow into their own independent lives.

Pokersecrets · 21/02/2022 21:48

What do your kids think? Mine love routine and home and the idea of being away for a year would be awful for them. They enjoy holidays, but are always ready to come home, whereas the adults want to stay longer. I think deathbed regrets are usually around being a wage slave for 40 years, so I think small steps to improve lifestyle (4 day week, quality time with family) are better than one big blowout which you're left paying for, for years.

RoyKentsChestHair · 21/02/2022 21:48

Talking to my 15 yo DD yesterday and she can’t remember any of the holidays from years ago. Before about 9/10 I don’t think much sticks to be honest! I’d definitely buy the house, get them into good schools, which will benefit them far into the future and take some extended holidays with them when they’re a bit older, to give them the best of both worlds - a stable home and school plus exciting opportunities.

Using4532 · 21/02/2022 21:48

Do young DC like being dragged round the world.

perimenofertility · 21/02/2022 21:52

I think you should take the gap year (or two)! It's not so much about the kids being old enough or too young to have memories of a trip, it's more about the two of you having the precious time to spend with them, unburdened by work and other home responsibilities, and having an experience you will enjoy and treasure yourselves forever. The kids will benefit from that time of parenting in a way they won't get if you are at home. I would say better now at their young age than having to take them out of school later on. Although who knows, maybe their will be more gaps years to come later on. I've travelled extensively, all over the world. Once you are in a flow with it its so easy to travel with kids. The house can wait. There is a weird obsession with buying a house in the UK that I don't see in a lot of other countries. Take the trip, have the most amazing time!

DustyOwl · 21/02/2022 21:52

I'm all for travel, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm going with house too. They are young, live in the house for a few years, then rent out the house and travel. After that, you have a lovely house to come back to when you have been on your travels.

Rainbowshit · 21/02/2022 21:52

Buy the house. You can still make memories doing other things.

me4real · 21/02/2022 21:52

You're young, it's unlikely you'll have deathbed regrets that you didn't have holidays with the kids at this exact time etc.

Get the house and then save for some nice trips after that.

It's true that I don't remember most of my childhood holidays.

Walkingalot · 21/02/2022 21:53

Absolutely buy the dream house. The time to take a year off for travelling was before you had the DC. They won't learn/benefit/remember much being so young anyway.

5128gap · 21/02/2022 21:54

The trip. No question. While your children won't remember the details, the 5 and 3 year old will absorb the family time, and you and your DP will remember it always, and you matter too. I guarantee you, there will never be a right time. In two years there will be another reason not to go, DC settled in school, house proving more expensive, job situation changed.. If now feels like a time you can feasibly do it, then don't let it slip by.

Inertia · 21/02/2022 21:55

It’s possible to make memories while living in a house- you can save up for other holidays and adventures.

The advantages of a stable home/ good schools will provide a much longer lasting benefit than your dream of world travel with toddlers.

Save the travel for a time when they are old enough to appreciate it.

trackerby · 21/02/2022 21:56

The house, for too many reasons to list.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 21/02/2022 21:56

The most important thing is a stable home. My sibling did this and never got back on the housing ladder. Now they are renting a horrible house.

Maddiemoosmum0203 · 21/02/2022 21:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/02/2022 21:57

What a horrible, foolish idea. Your children wouldn't even benefit from the traveling at their ages. Buy the house, obviously. You can always travel later.

FantasticFebruary · 21/02/2022 21:58

@Avacadoandtoast

For those of you saying go for the house and take the year out later…how do you go about pulling kids out of school for a year when they are 10 / 12, is that acceptable to take them out if school and around the world?
@Avacadoandtoast

Acceptable to whom exactly??

Using4532 · 21/02/2022 22:00

I suppose this making memories will look good on Facebook

SaltySeaAir · 21/02/2022 22:01

Buy the house.

We took our children traveling for a year when they were 3.5 and 6 months. There were reasons we did it then, and we didn't need to stop work to do this.

We had the best time, but my eldest remembers none of it. For us that doesn't really matter, but I wouldn't have wanted to sacrifice a house for this experience.

Buy the house, and plan a few one month trips during the school summer holidays 🙂

YupNameChangeAgain · 21/02/2022 22:02

Hmmm
Is it for you or the kids ?
My kids start moaning after a week of holidays … always want to go back to security of home

The forever home, good school could give you all stability and oops for good memeory making holidays . and not make you want to go away for a year

MsFogi · 21/02/2022 22:02

The children are too young - they won't remember the trip! Buy the house, save for a few years and go travelling when they are a few years older.