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Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:
Meandthesky · 21/02/2022 22:03

Buy the house now. Keep saving and go travelling when the DC are all old enough to actually remember it

Namenic · 21/02/2022 22:04

Buy the house. I went on holidays etc, as a kid but can’t remember that much below 8. The kids will get more out of it when older.

Needmoresleep · 21/02/2022 22:04

Buy the house. You can always rent it out if you then go abroad for a year or two.

user1471443411 · 21/02/2022 22:04

I wouldn't take a year off at this stage, unless there is a reason you might not be able to do it later? The children won't remember it much at all (the oldest might remember snippets) but you can't do 'making memories' we all remember the most unexpected things.

UnderTheSea20k · 21/02/2022 22:05

Grow the hell up.

A decent home with great schools is 100x better than a self indulgent year out that none of the children will remember anyway. It will also mean you don’t have the money to do any holidays in the future, which they would actually remember. You’d have to explain to them that the reason they’re in the shithole school and crammed in the house and unable to go on a summer holiday again is because mummy had no financial sense

MadMadMadamMim · 21/02/2022 22:06

Buy the house. If you spend the money it's unlikely that re-saving the same amount will buy anything similar a couple of years down the line.

Your children will grow up with zero memories of their travelling. I'm from a family whose father's work took us abroad. My DM treasures memories of a year in Copenhagen when I was 4. I remember nothing of it except the laundry room in the basement and although she claims I spoke fluent Danish I speak none as an adult. We then spent over a year in Australia and I remember witchity grubs and being bitten by a spider and my entire foot swelling up.

I have later memories of other countries but my point is your children won't benefit from travel at the age they are.

AAAAAGHH · 21/02/2022 22:09

What a crock of shit.

UnderTheSea20k · 21/02/2022 22:09

Why not buy a house now that’s the right size but not super slick and arrange a great 3 week family holiday every year for the next decade? Get the schools and house size and holidays, just sacrifice on the styling to taste?

Dishwashersaurous · 21/02/2022 22:10

Buy the house. Children are two young to remember trip of lifetime type travelling.

Buy house, then you could rent it out for a year in a few years time when you'd all appreciate it more

SoupDragon · 21/02/2022 22:10

Buy the house.

What do you think the 9 month old is going to remember of a trip?

fruitbrewhaha · 21/02/2022 22:11

hmm, well my house has gone up £100k in the last couple of years.

Foldinthecheese · 21/02/2022 22:11

We moved abroad last April, when my children were 5, 5 and 2. It’s been a great decision for us, but has really helped me see how much they value reliability and consistency. Kids are resilient and can cope with all sorts, but they’re only now feeling properly settled in school. They actually mentioned the other day unprompted that they wouldn’t want to change schools again. I would make it a goal to travel when they are older and able to understand it as a temporary adventure, as well as be able to carry their own stuff!

BendingSpoons · 21/02/2022 22:12

A friend of mine has taken a 2 year sabbatical. They have moved abroad to a beach place. They are doing some remote work and renting out their house. They are travelling locally to where they are. Their kids are in local non-English school/nursery. They were 2 and 4 when they went. It's a possible half way approach.

I am partly very jealous of them but partly think it's not for me. Kids thrive on routine. My DD is 6 and her favourite place in the world is Butlins Grin She has such fun seeing grandparents, going to soft play etc. When we get on holiday, the first thing she wants to do is find a playground. DH rolled his eyes that we spent 10 hours travelling, she found a rusty swing and was happy! Saying that, when I see pictures of my friend on the beach and I've just done the school run in hats and scarves I do wonder!

Dishwashersaurous · 21/02/2022 22:14

And house prices, of the sort of house you are talking about, are only going to go up in price.

In 3 or 4 years you are unlikely to be able to afford what you can buy now

FantasticFebruary · 21/02/2022 22:14

@Using4532

Do young DC like being dragged round the world.
... boats, trains,camels,horses,taxis.... much more so than dragging.

(NT) Kids enjoy most everything, life is an adventure & travel is what you make it.

@MyWonderwall

If it were me, I'd buy the house & save - don't upgrade anything. Then when the eldest is in Yr 8 or 9 go for a year. Rent the house out without having to worry about it too much, because you'll refurb when you return.

I think (despite the naysayers) you could have a great time now, but I think you'll have a much better time in 4/5 years time AND you'll have a house in a good area to come back to.

Make sure you're BOTH onboard with the plan though, whatever it is!!

DONT stress too much, you have (at least) 2 great options!!

haismfh · 21/02/2022 22:14

Absolutely not because
a) the two youngest ones in particular are too young to remember anything of the trip
b) it will be a nightmare travelling the world with a 1 year old
c) the world is currently not stable enough to take off for a year with 3 kids in tow. The pandemic is still rumbling on and another wave could come along at any moment causing more travel disruption. In a couple of years it might be better but not right now
d) have you seen what's going on with Russia and Ukraine
e) if you don't buy now you might not be able to afford to in a couple of years with rising prices and interest rates and so on.

Buy the house.
This travelling idea is a pipe dream right now.

Using4532 · 21/02/2022 22:16

It's bad enough at the moment just planning a couple of weeks in Spain

Hexagonmum · 21/02/2022 22:16

You have a 5,3 and 9month old who unfortunately won't remember the year away, so really they won't be able to cherish it as you would.

If I was in your shoes I would buy the house, start saving up again, kids will be much older and able to cherish those memories once you do go away.

Gastonia · 21/02/2022 22:16

I'm going to sound really boring here, but we bought a house, "made memories" having camping trips in the UK, building mud pies in the garden etc. I can now retire early, and have enough saved to pay for my kids to have a house deposit when they finish university. Grin (But I did do a fair bit of travelling when I was young.)

TokyoTen · 21/02/2022 22:17

Definitely house!

floatinginmyhomie · 21/02/2022 22:19

If you’re able to travel when the DC are a bit older I’d do that

AngelinaFibres · 21/02/2022 22:21

@MyWonderwall

I forgot to say we already have a house but much smaller, near rubbish schools and not in dream location! We would be returning to this house for 1-2 years afterwards.
Madness. Buy the better house now. Your children won't remember the trip.
CoffeeRunner · 21/02/2022 22:22

We had a similar choice just after my dad passed away. We decided to buy a holiday home by the coast (our risky move) because memories are what matters right?

Well, 19 years later our holiday home fell into the sea (not literally but due to landslides became unsafe & without value) and we still live in a rented house.

It's a nice house. But we made the wrong decision. Main home first. One of the holidays my kids remember & enjoyed most was a wet week camping in Wales. Valuable memories don't cost money.

Thenamegame0 · 21/02/2022 22:24

Secure the house first, that's more important

Hb12 · 21/02/2022 22:24

Buy then go in a few years

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