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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:
BulletTrain · 21/02/2022 22:26

I wouldn't take a one year old travelling if someone paid me. Grin

maddening · 21/02/2022 22:26

Give your kids the opportunities to choose their futures by ensuring they have access to.good schools.

HotWaterAndLemon · 21/02/2022 22:29

Wouldn’t you have to take the 5yo out of school?
Definitely prioritise the better area, bigger house, better schools over a dream to travel (especially given the reality of travelling with 3 small children).

Qwill · 21/02/2022 22:30

Also a lone voice, but I’d do the travelling now. I think other things will always get in the way. Who cares if the children don’t remember it, you will. I think it’s great to do stuff like that whilst they’re relatively portable.

Zolla · 21/02/2022 22:30

I would have said travel but not currently. Covid is still very unpredictable despite what Boris says. A more deadly variety emerges and you might find yourself locked down in a country you don’t know unable to get home. Other countries have far more restrictions. If you caught covid, what kinda accommodation would you be staying in? 10 days in a nice house, sure. 10 days in a hotel room or tent/caravan type scenario, no thanks. There could be issues if your 5 year old isn’t vaccinated. You still have to quarantine upon entry to some countries thus wasting a part of your trip.

Just isn’t the right time I don’t think. Maybe if you were without kids but factoring them in as well..

Also, personally, I found travelling to Spain with a 4 year old & 1 year old hell on earth last year 😂 they struggled with the change of routine, the heat, the boredom on the plane, the mozzies. I desperately missed my home comforts! We had a lovely couple weeks but I’ve never been so glad to see my sofa & my own bed! And have the kids in their own rooms & not all in one big room! I couldn’t think of much worse than being away from home for an extended period with young kids. Moving from place to place & never feeling like you have a base .. I think most young kids would struggle with that 🤷🏼‍♀️

ancientgran · 21/02/2022 22:30

Would renting the house out give you enough to travel?

GemmaAlone · 21/02/2022 22:33

Buy the house. Young children don't want to go travelling. They want security and routine.

CourtRand · 21/02/2022 22:33

Do it. Depends on what you earn but we've decided to do the same. We've saved £40k. We are 28 no kids though.

Realised we want to really just go for a year. So we're going to. Life is short. We saved that in 3 years so could do again.

Although if it took you 7-10 years to save that I'd say get the house and rent it out to do similar.

cocoatata · 21/02/2022 22:33

@BulletTrain

I wouldn't take a one year old travelling if someone paid me. Grin
Me neither, travelling with three young kids for a year doesn't sound like a holiday to me Grin.
TheWelshposter · 21/02/2022 22:34

No way with those young ages. Buy the house now and go on a wow trip whenever they are all at least over 5.
The beautiful family home will give you a lifetime of memories.

bevelino · 21/02/2022 22:34

OP, buy the forever home now and rent it out if you have a burning desire to go travelling. You may remember the travelling but your children won’t as they are too young.

I honestly don’t think you will have a death bed regret over this.

Radyward · 21/02/2022 22:37

Dont do it yet.just buy the dream house an do it when they are older and more independent travelling with parents. We are going to nyc in 2 yrs as them my lids will be 14 and 11 so will hopefully love the american vibe and buzz of a big city. Plus they might actually remember it !!

MaChienEstUnDick · 21/02/2022 22:37

I think your premise is flawed though. Memories don't = travel. Memories = the place you live, where you feel safe, the time dad dropped the trifle and the mark never came out of the wall, the way you felt when you got to stay up late and watch a movie, your first big bed.

Amortentia · 21/02/2022 22:37

Buy the house, then maybe rent it out if you want to go away for at least 6 months. One other thing I would add is that I spent a huge amount of time traveling when I was young and child free. If you are on the move for more than a couple of months it can actually become quite tiring, sorting out your next mode of transport, accommodation, even trying to get meals each day in cafes or restaurants gets old very quickly. . I can’t imagine doing that with kids. Better to go in short bursts, you might want to do a shortish trip and see how you manage traveling with kids compared to what it’s like when you go to one place on holiday.

joliefolle · 21/02/2022 22:39

Be honest with yourself. This is about you, not the children. That's ok but just be 100% honest about why you would be doing this and what the potential downsides are for the people you are directly responsible for. Maybe you still make the decision to go. But just be 100% honest about why you are doing this and what the potential consequences are.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/02/2022 22:39

House now, the DC need good schools now and soon.

Travel later, when they're old enough to understand what's going on, be impressed by some of it and remember it. Maybe when they're around 7-12, before school gets too serious.

CourtRand · 21/02/2022 22:41

@lottiegarbanzo

House now, the DC need good schools now and soon.

Travel later, when they're old enough to understand what's going on, be impressed by some of it and remember it. Maybe when they're around 7-12, before school gets too serious.

Homeschooling is a thing
HeyEwe · 21/02/2022 22:42

House. I have 3 children similar ages to yours and I've travelled the world in my 20s. I would not want to do my year travelling with 3 small kids in tow, the faff that'd be, no thanks. The kids will be too small to remember your "making memories" so it'll be no real benefit to them anyway, how will you do this with 1 school aged child? Why not buy your house and pay for extra leave from work and travel the full 6 week summer hols? We try to do a month away in the summer, that's great for us. I'd always say buy a house and have that security where kids are concerned.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/02/2022 22:44

Sure, they can home-school while travelling. They should. Easier and more flexible to be doing that outside examined course years though.

Sweetlikejollof · 21/02/2022 22:52

I went on some spectacular holidays when I was a kid (I’ve seen the photos), didn’t appreciate them at the time and remember very little. It was less ‘special’, because money was never an issue, but still.

Buy your house, honestly.

wannapuke · 21/02/2022 22:52

Do it. Depends on what you earn but we've decided to do the same. We've saved £40k. We are 28 no kids though.

Well yeah, you've got no kids......so an entirely different scenario.
The time to take off and travel for a year is before kids come along or when they are old enough to appreciate it and not be a nightmare on every journey

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 21/02/2022 22:56

Buy the house. Rent out the house and go when they are old enough to remember it. After yr4/5 it gets trickier depending on secondary admissions processes

SleepingStandingUp · 21/02/2022 22:57

Eldest is about to start school so you want them somewhere they're going to stay and grow up and make friends. Baby is just a baby and won't remember a thing. I'd hold off. Buy your security and the house you'll make decades of memories in

LorelaiDeservedBetter · 21/02/2022 22:57

There's absolutely no point doing it when your DCs are so small. They're definitely not going to remember it. Buy the dream house in the good catchment. Then save. You can always go travelling when the DCs are 9,7,5. Or use the savings to break the round the world trip into manageable chunks and travel each summer.
Our friends took a year out when their DCs were 5 and 4. They said it was a waste of time as an experience for their DCs.

TabithaHazel · 21/02/2022 22:58

If you fancy an extended holiday then at least be honest about it - none of your children will remember the trip, so the memories are for you and your husband. Nothing wrong with that, but just be honest with yourself :)

I would 100% get the house first though, prices go up year on year and you don't want to be priced out of your dream home/area,. And once you have it you can even rent it out for for a year or two further down the line and it could pay for your trip.