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Original poster

To Spend The Forever House Fund On Memories

226 replies

MyWonderwall · 21/02/2022 20:37

Just looking for advice from all you wise folk!

Me and DH have been saving for a while, we finally have enough money to put down on our forever home (with mortgage) - 4 bed detached in our dream area with lovely schools and activities for the DC. We have three DC ages 5,3 and 9 months.

HOWEVER, I would just love, love to spend this money on taking a year out and go travelling to spend some quality time with our children!

I think it would put us back 1-2 years of saving on our return but we could probably get the dream family home again eventually or maybe not but I think it may be worth the risk.

I really don’t want any death bed regrets and they’re growing up so quickly! We have this opportunity now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Especially from people who’s children have already grown up and now have the precious hindsight!

What would be the more important/best thing for our children and family please!

OP posts:
Babalugats · 21/02/2022 23:02

Just do it.

You only have one life, I was in a position like yours, we took the sensible route and never went travelling , life happens when you're making plans.

If that's in your guts and you own property already, just do it, I know a couple who sold everything and went travelling round the world, (2 kids) they built a new life for themselves and never came back.

Some people just can't do boring and sensible, besides, if it all goes to shit, you come home and carry on with boring old plan A. Kids wont remember, but you bloody will and do it now before school gets serious.

RosesAndHellebores · 21/02/2022 23:08

Our DC have some of their fondest holiday memories aged 3 and 5. They still talk about them and are 23 and 27 now.

WetLookKnitwear · 21/02/2022 23:10

Buy the house 100%

You can save for a holiday and go when the kids will actually appreciate it.

ChocolateDigestivesMmmm · 21/02/2022 23:12

@Amortentia I agree with this. I spent a year travelling in my 20s and whilst it was amazing in many ways and I'm grateful to have had the opportunity, there were also lots of days that were just "same shit, different place". A year is along time and in between the sightseeing/amazing experiences, there are lots of days when not much is happening...you're too tired and want to just relax, or you need to sort out some admin things or get some shopping done, or get all your clothes washed and dried, or you're stuck at a train/bus station/airport etc. If you have 3 young children with you the chores and logistics would be even more to manage.
I have a toddler and even going on a week-long caravan holiday in the Uk last summer was a huge faff...the thought of travelling around the world with 3 young kids out of their usual routines and without all our stuff and home comforts sounds like hell on earth. And I say this as someone who loves travel normally.

mrwalkensir · 21/02/2022 23:13

They will be too young to remember most if not all of your travels. My cousin travelled for a year and the change in what their house was worth and where they then wanted to live became a huge gulf.

heyitsthistle · 21/02/2022 23:18

Buy the house. Make memories there, and then also make memories later!

If you spend £20k on travelling, you'll have to save up £40k because house prices are skyrocketing.

GinIronic · 21/02/2022 23:21

Choose the house. We took our DC on a long trip across Europe and to Hong Kong and onto Australia and New Zealand. They were aged between 5 and 10. The only things they seem to remember are McDonald's breakfasts and the odd kangaroo on a dusty road between Sydney and the Blue Mountains. I have fabulous memories. The DC - not so much.

UniversalAunt · 21/02/2022 23:22

Trust that your house dream can come true.
Buy the house, it has so much that you want right now & will set you all up well - great environment, good schools, enough space - & gets you away from where you are now. You should not settle for where you are now if you can make the move.

Settle in a bit, build up the travel sabbatical year(s) plan.
Rent house out & go.
Time it so that the older kids are already placed in the schools you prefer.

Go right now, you may loose your advantage on the housing ladder, come back & not get oldest into junior school you prefer etc.

PriamFarrl · 21/02/2022 23:25

My parents took me on an amazing holiday when I was 5. It was the only family holiday we ever had. I remember tiny bits of it.
Wait until they are older.

GiftWrappingLikeItsXmasEve · 21/02/2022 23:31

Buy the house, give them the memories of a lovely secure home with great schools and activities

LoisLane66 · 21/02/2022 23:34

If it would only take you 2 years at most to save another deposit then it would only take you 2 years to wait until the children are older and able to appreciate travelling and the different countries. At their ages now, especially the 3 year old and 9 months old, they are not at the stage when a world tour will make the best and longest lasting impression.
Hold your horses, buy the dream home and go on the trip in 2 years time. Dream homes don't appear as often as London buses.
I have 5 children, now adults and my ex and I did the travelling thing but we had a boat, actually a yacht. They remember very little if anything of the trips when they were under 5, mostly from photos and repetitive stories. The ones who were older remember it all.

ThatPosterIsSoRight · 21/02/2022 23:35

We went on a far-flung holiday when the DC were 8 and 9, it was the perfect age, in particular the nearly-10 year old. Not yet in the teen grunting phase, and interested to talk to people and fascinated by the different politics, history and culture.

When they were pre-schoolers it was mostly about making sure they didn’t burn in the sun and had enough naps.

twinsister · 21/02/2022 23:37

We took our kids out of school to go travelling for a year when they were 8 and 10. Best thing I’ve ever done in my life so I came on here to tell you to go for it.

However now I see the info about house situation and age of the kids I’m in the buy the house, go later camp too. I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any earlier from an age point of view. Our youngest doesn’t remember all that much about it even at 8.

Also half the excitement was in the planning and dreaming which we did for literally years so you can be actively planning this at the same time as buying the dream house.

Finally it’s a crappy time to be contemplating travel with lots of restrictions (testing requirements etc) in place around the world likely in place for quite some time. Plus airlines are a bit decimated right now so routes won’t get back to ‘normal’ for a while either.

So absolutely do the travel!!!! But get the house first.

Thewindwhispers · 21/02/2022 23:40

Yabu. The children are way too young to get anything out of it, for the younger ones it would be hell. Children want security! When they’re older do it then, just skip year 5 or year 8 or something.

OnceUponAWhine · 21/02/2022 23:44

Have a look at Travelmadmum on Insta. I’ve followed her for ages and watched her travel with toddler/babies who’ve grown up, now she’s just had twins too- quite unexpectedly as they’ve just started another life elsewhere. Four children, seeing the world. I find her and family totally inspiring, her account is full of ideas about funding and working without losing on your travel dreams.
I think it’s about squeezing in all the opportunities whilst you can as children bed in to communities, make friends as they get older and won’t want to leave. The younger they are when seeing other things in the world, the more inspired they’ll be to travel again in future. I’ve taken my DC places using work transfers, nothing like proper travelling but he’s a little older now and still always keen to see new things.

Could you buy the house, rent it out and head off travelling, so you have somewhere to come back to?

CountryCob · 21/02/2022 23:44

Another for buying, you don’t need to go on a massive holiday to make memories, they would enjoy a trip to the beach and fun fair as much/ possibly more

Suzi9989 · 21/02/2022 23:54

What does your husband want?

Travel! See the world...

RowanAlong · 21/02/2022 23:55

If your eldest is due to start school, but the house to get away from ‘the rubbish schools’! A great start at school will be way more important than a trip they really won’t remember. Go travelling when they’re older!

Madge55 · 21/02/2022 23:58

Travel broadens the mind and I often think makes people more open minded and adventurous as people but for me this is a buy the house first. Then once a year do a house swap to different parts of the world for a month or 2. Living an experience to me is much more worthwhile than a few days here and there in different places. I've lived abroad and now when I go travelling I tend to not do the classic visiting the tourist spots I love just existing somewhere different and absorbing the different lifestyle, so much better.

FinnulaFloss · 21/02/2022 23:58

Buying a beautiful big house in your dream area and then being able to send your children to the fantastic local schools is never going to be a death bed regret.

A house and the opportunities being in great schools in a good area will bring are for life - and far more valuable than a year of jollies imo.

Excited101 · 22/02/2022 00:00

Get the house op, you will most likely be priced out in a couple of years, never wait if you can afford it now!

Redsquirrel5 · 22/02/2022 00:03

Buy the house. In one or two years you might not be able to afford it and there might not be any for sale.

My children are grown up. We lived in an idyllic village by the sea until they were 8, 6 &18 mths. Then we had to move due to family needing support. We live in a lovely village in the country.

We took them out to lovely and exciting activities in both areas. They went on holiday in The Lakes, York, Yorkshire Dales and coast, North York Moors and Derbyshire. We took them to lots of places in France
Coast, north and down to Vendee. Went to EuroDisney when it opened. They remember that and a few other places but there is an awful lot they don’t remember. I find that difficult as I can remember a house I lived in when my mum said I was 18 mths. DS 3 could remember the way home from the shop to our old house about 6 years later. He was the 18mth old when we left. I can remember some of the different countries I lived in or went to until 4 1/2 yrs. Egypt, Greece, London, Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, Portugal but they can’t remember some of the camping holidays we saved for.
They do still have some of the same friends and fall back in with the village kids when the others return at Christmas. They have grown into lovely adults that are kind and can be relied upon and they have lots of friends of different nationalities. We are proud of them.

I would say buy the house now and save for a great trip when they are older and hopefully remember. I don’t regret it but it was their dad and I making most of the memories. They enjoyed it at the time.

bellsbuss · 22/02/2022 00:07

My children have been all over the world but when asked about their favourite places and memories they will talk about a Haven site with all their cousins or a camping holiday with other families.

JimmyDurham · 22/02/2022 00:58

We would be returning to this house for 1-2 years afterwards.

Chances are it would be gone by then and what would your DC actually remember anyway? Strikes me as a totally pointless idea. Buy the house.

Cocogreen · 22/02/2022 01:17

If it really is your dream house, I think you would regret not buying it.
Travel in 3-4 years when the youngest is out of nappies and before the eldest is in secondary school.