To be hacked off with my neighbour ‘stealing’ my cat!

[HugAHoodie]

Yes I know that cats are independent, will go where they want to go, have no loyalties etc

But a family local to me let my cat into their home every day. I can see him through their windows.

I understand how in warmer months this is difficult to avoid. But they are obviously letting him in.

I’ve spoken to them - at least 3 times - on the last occasion I specifically asked them (politely) to not open the door to him. My DC are upset as cat has basically buggered off and has to be lured into ours with food! The neighbours have said they’re not feeding him.

AIBU to feel pissed off about this and should I go round (again) to ask them to ignore my cat? Or am I being precious (and at least they’re kind to him)

YABU but only because we have the opposite problem of neighborhood cat sneaking into our house any chance it gets. I take it out, it comes back in. Shut the door, it jumps through a window. Multiple times a day. I've taken to hissing to shoo it outside but it doesn't seem overly bothered, runs away then 5 mins later it's back.

It is a stinking hot summer for us, I'm not going to imprison myself in a stifling house with windows and doors shut so the neighbors cat doesn't come in. Our poor antisocial cat also doesn't like it and has taken to spraying which is just delightful. I'm just hoping it doesn't have fleas cos I'm running out of ideas to keep it out.

@sne3

Keep the cat inside. Problem solved.

Not a solution. AT ALL.

YABU but only because we have the opposite problem of neighborhood cat sneaking into our house any chance it gets. I take it out, it comes back in. Shut the door, it jumps through a window. Multiple times a day. I've taken to hissing to shoo it outside but it doesn't seem overly bothered, runs away then 5 mins later it's back.

Hissing and shooing is hardly trying very hard though is it? You use water pistols, ultrasonic deterrents the garden hose if you have one. As I alluded to I had a very persistent cat entering my home most days when I moved in, my wife is allergic to them so she really sufffered, we simply could not let this car to stroll in when it pleased.

You'll see from my previous posts that I'm pretty moderate and don't try to wind people up. On this one though..... Your cat is either a wild animal or its not. Come round every day and clean its shit from my garden and you can tell me it's not allowed in my house. Otherwise, I'll have the benefits as well as the drawbacks and enjoy the cat's company. Maybe it likes your neighbours more!

cat

An edit function, an edit function, my kingdom for an edit function.

Op, if you want to stop your cat visiting them then cat-proof your garden. I saw you put a laughing face when this was suggested earlier, but it is possible and quite a common thing to do. Just Google.

@Metalguru22

Op, if you want to stop your cat visiting them then cat-proof your garden. I saw you put a laughing face when this was suggested earlier, but it is possible and quite a common thing to do. Just Google.

Cruel though if your cat likes to roam

@Lasttraintolondon

You'll see from my previous posts that I'm pretty moderate and don't try to wind people up. On this one though..... Your cat is either a wild animal or its not. Come round every day and clean its shit from my garden and you can tell me it's not allowed in my house. Otherwise, I'll have the benefits as well as the drawbacks and enjoy the cat's company. Maybe it likes your neighbours more!

I don't mind my cat visiting other people. I like that people enjoy him too. But keeping him in their house until turned 11 at night? Not on.

Thankfully his beeping collar has stopped that now, but it should be common sense to put someone's cat out at night so they can go home

My neighbour is doing the exact same thing - Ive spoken to her asked her not to she totally ignores me

My cat comes home at night - but refuses any food I put down for him. Im spending a fortune trying different foods for him now - but he will only eat treats which is what she feeds him

So bloody annoying

@DillonPanthersTexas I don't like using water pistols on cats, I've done it once before and it felt pretty abusive and isn't even all that effective given the cat will associate the water gun with the person using it and not the unwanted behavior, so will likely just come in when I'm not in sight.

Ultrasonic deterrents - yeah we have a cat ourselves, that's not exactly going to work for us now is it. She's a pretty skittish thing too so not looking to make her feel upset.

Bottom line - if you don't want your cat in other people's houses, don't let them roam. And yes, neighbours could return your cat, turf them out, discourage them etc. But if you're not making that much effort to keep your cat on your property why should they?

Also just to say it's a different story if the neighbours are actively keeping your cat inside their house - ie locking it in and not letting it go home. If that is the case then YANBU.

Oh come on, using a water pistol on a cat is not abusive and the cat soon associates being in the house in question with getting wet so ceases to enter the place. I have plenty of roaming cats that pass through my garden or chill on the shed roof in the summer., I don't have an issue with that, just cats entering my home, sleeping on my bed or using my sofa as a scratching post.

I know someone who this happened to, they took legal advice and apparently it counts as theft if they close the door behind the cat! If I were you I would write a letter to make it more formal, might scare them a bit!

And when I'm not around? Busy? Working from home? Do I really have to interrupt my day fifty times in case the neighbor is pissy their cat is in my house? Not to mention the fact my kids love animals and will be patting it any time it's around, do I have to police them every minute to make sure they're not being nice to the cat? How much interruption of neighbours lives and how much effort do you think is reasonable to expect of them to keep a roaming cat (not a stray) out of their house?

Again if it's your cat and you want it out of other people's houses then it's your responsibility to keep it in your yard. If a neighbor is actively locking your cat in their house that is a different story. But from my POV someone else's cat is not my problem - I shoo it out when I see it, try not to encourage it, but I'm not going to expend masses of effort or be patrolling my house with a water pistol like mall security looking for shoplifters. I have a life to attend to. The cat I'm hoping will go away once it finds no food. Or we get a dog - whichever comes first (we're actively looking).

Re persistent cats.
This is NDN's cat that has spent the last five years laying seige to our house every day.
We don't let him in.

"I might be a bit over enthusiastic about this but I shit you not if I ever saw my cat in a neighbours window, I’d be knocking on their door then and there to get it back."

I often wonder, after my not my cat experience, if I'll ever notice my own cat in a neighbours window. I think I'd do the same, knock, introduce myself and ask for her back.

With my not my cat cat, it started when I noticed she'd let herself in, and was sitting in my sink, pawing at the mixer tap. I was intrigued, so put it on a trickle, and she wet her paw, and started to groom herself, stopping to re-wet the paw every so often. Eventually she was having a shower of sorts at mine, a few mornings a week. I'd put the tap on a trickle, go back 10 minutes later and she'd be gone. I always assumed her owner either didn't have a mixer tap, or there was no one home to turn it on, and that was the initial draw.

Then she made friends with the dog, and roamed further into the house, until she was sitting with me while I watched TV etc. One horrible stormy night, it was getting late and she didn't want to go home, but my cat had come back, and I wanted to shut the window, so I had to carry her home, under an umbrella. I explained to the neighbour she'd been at mine, and that I thought she was waiting for the rain to stop, (but that could have been hours), hence me having to return her. The neighbour just seemed relived she was okay, and had been warm/dry/safe.

It must have played on her mind though, because a few days later, the neighbour sent her bf over one afternoon looking for the cat.

I think they suspected I was locking her in. I took him into my kitchen, where the cat was sitting on the windowsill, in front of the open window, watching the birds in the tree. I explained I leave the window open for my own cat, theirs was letting itself in, and they seemed happy enough with that from then on (once they saw the window was open and the cat was free to leave).

I never fed her (though I would give her a bowl of water, when I was topping up the dogs).

Hissing and shooing is hardly trying very hard though is it? You use water pistols, ultrasonic deterrents the garden hose if you have one. As I alluded to I had a very persistent cat entering my home most days when I moved in, my wife is allergic to them so she really sufffered, we simply could not let this car to stroll in when it pleased.

You shouldn’t have had to buy water pistols and ultrasonic deterrents because if someone else’s pet though. It’s wrong that you had to spend money to protect your wife from someone else’s animal in her own home.

Oddly enough, none of these people that want others to keep their cats out of their houses ever offer to pay for deterrents for their neighbours. Seems a bit strange considering how important it is to them that they keep their pets to themselves despite letting them roam where they want.

@FairyCakeWings

Hissing and shooing is hardly trying very hard though is it? You use water pistols, ultrasonic deterrents the garden hose if you have one. As I alluded to I had a very persistent cat entering my home most days when I moved in, my wife is allergic to them so she really sufffered, we simply could not let this car to stroll in when it pleased.

You shouldn’t have had to buy water pistols and ultrasonic deterrents because if someone else’s pet though. It’s wrong that you had to spend money to protect your wife from someone else’s animal in her own home.

Oddly enough, none of these people that want others to keep their cats out of their houses ever offer to pay for deterrents for their neighbours. Seems a bit strange considering how important it is to them that they keep their pets to themselves despite letting them roam where they want.

Yes completely unreasonable and anyway they will never ever do this because they like having the cat over and the cat clearly likes it too. Only people who don't like cats or have a reason not to want cats near them would go to all this kind of trouble and they certainly won't be happy about it, see many previous threads.

It is interesting the double standard that outdoor cats are considered completely uncontrollable when it comes to toileting but everyone else should be doing their utmost to ensure the cat returns home after its finished pooing on your lawn so that its owner can get the cuddles they've paid for. If OP really upsets her neighbours, I wouldn't be surprised if she starts getting cat shit thrown over her fence.

If the OP wants to restrict her cat's movements she will have to find some way herself and spend her own time and money doing it.

I also would be very careful not to fall out with neighbours over this, a feud or bad feeling would definitely not be worth it.

At least OP will probably always have someone lined up to cat sit if she goes on holiday.

I'm just hear because I heard a rumour there were pictures of TC.

Isn't he adorable?

Everyone stop and admire the pics of Grumpy’s TC.

Terrible cute.

@YetAnotherSpartacus

I'm just hear because I heard a rumour there were pictures of TC.

Isn't he adorable?

I am also overjoyed by the photo of Paws announcing that he is at the window.

"Metalguru22

Op, if you want to stop your cat visiting them then cat-proof your garden. I saw you put a laughing face when this was suggested earlier, but it is possible and quite a common thing to do. Just Google.

Cruel though if your cat likes to roam"

Depends on the size of the garden and how much cat entertainment it contains. Next time I have a cat the garden will be cat-proof with some nice platforms etc for entertainment. I'd rather that than risk them getting killed by a car or cat-napped.

@Metalguru22

"Metalguru22

Op, if you want to stop your cat visiting them then cat-proof your garden. I saw you put a laughing face when this was suggested earlier, but it is possible and quite a common thing to do. Just Google.

Cruel though if your cat likes to roam"

Depends on the size of the garden and how much cat entertainment it contains. Next time I have a cat the garden will be cat-proof with some nice platforms etc for entertainment. I'd rather that than risk them getting killed by a car or cat-napped.

An average British garden is not big enough or exciting enough for an adult cat who is used to and enjoys roaming. One of mine would probably tolerate it, another would on rainy days if there was cover, but my wanderer? Not a chance

Cats only go where they like if you let them go outside. Make your cat an indoor cat. They aren't stealing your cat unless they don't let your cat go outside. This is a you problem.

@PrincessNutella

Cats only go where they like if you let them go outside. Make your cat an indoor cat. They aren't stealing your cat unless they don't let your cat go outside. This is a you problem.

That is her problem. It's winter. Their doors and windows are shut and ops cat is in the house. Got it in one