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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hacked off with my neighbour ‘stealing’ my cat!

249 replies

HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 14:51

Yes I know that cats are independent, will go where they want to go, have no loyalties etc

But a family local to me let my cat into their home every day. I can see him through their windows.

I understand how in warmer months this is difficult to avoid. But they are obviously letting him in.

I’ve spoken to them - at least 3 times - on the last occasion I specifically asked them (politely) to not open the door to him. My DC are upset as cat has basically buggered off and has to be lured into ours with food! The neighbours have said they’re not feeding him.

AIBU to feel pissed off about this and should I go round (again) to ask them to ignore my cat? Or am I being precious (and at least they’re kind to him)

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 22:52

Hymblebee, the OP asked if they were being unreasonable- maybe you should re-read the OP and chill out with a cat.

SoItWas · 21/02/2022 23:02

I have a cat, and keep a window at the back of the house open during the day when I'm in, so she can come and go. One of the neighbours cats used to come in while my cat was out, and chill. I went for a nap on the sofa once, and woke up to find her asleep on my chest.

I think the cat just liked the company while her owner was at work/out. She seemed to know roughly when her owner would be due home, and she'd go sit on my windowsill, until she spotted her, then off she'd go. She tried to make friends with my cat, but my cat had no interest, so she settled for me and the dog instead. They moved, sad as the mutt and I were very fond of her.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 21/02/2022 23:07

Tell them not to feed him as the vet has put him on a specific diet and he'll get very ill otherwise. Also mention the terrible flea issue you just can't keep on top of. Then feed him lots of food like raw meat and treats so he knows exactly where his real home is.

SoItWas · 21/02/2022 23:21

Sorry as to the op, the cat visiting another family wouldn't bother me, but if they're locking it in/not letting it out again, that's totally weird and unacceptable.

Hmbleybee · 21/02/2022 23:47

@Goldenbear

Hymblebee, the OP asked if they were being unreasonable- maybe you should re-read the OP and chill out with a cat.
Guessing this patronising post is aimed at me, even though you didn't bother to spell my name correctly. Your posts are more incoherent the more you reply. I've quite chilled out thank you. Sitting with my two lovely cats, that funnily enough I didn't steal from any of my neighbours. Give over trying to tell people they should just let anyone steal their pets as it's ok because they are being 'kind'.
Hmbleybee · 21/02/2022 23:50

I'd tell them the cat is on a special diet due to medical problems with terrible flatulence and digestive problems, causing spontaneous explosive diarrhea. Hopefully that would do the trick and they stop catnapping him.

Peppaflavouredbacon · 22/02/2022 00:13

I might be a bit over enthusiastic about this but I shit you not if I ever saw my cat in a neighbours window, I’d be knocking on their door then and there to get it back. Cats roam yes but they are my cats and nobody else’s. It’s not up to anyone else to decide to just have somebody’s cat

BoldMove · 22/02/2022 00:20

OP I'm completely with you on this. Had mine canapés and peed me off no end. If someone wants a cat why not get their in? And buy the cat food and pay the vets bills, flea treatment etc. No thanks, they say, I'll just nick someone else's for a cuddle instead! Don't even get me started.
I'd tell them your cat hasdiabetes and is on a special diet. Explain that your dc are upset and has a special bond with the cat.
No one has to have someone's else's cat in their house even if it does keep trying to come in. Has no one seen The Flintstones where the cat is booted out every night?! Actually that one doesn't end well for Fred does it? Skip that thenGrin

pawpaws2022 · 22/02/2022 00:45

@MumUndone

I think letting someone else's cat into your house is theft.
It depends. Not my cat has been visiting for 3 years and cats protection have been involved. He is often out late when it's freezing and can't get back in his house. Was crawling with fleas (I could see them jumping off him) and turned up with a giant abscess and a face full of blood one day Do I let him in? Yeah, if it's 1am and iced over outside then he's safe and warm with me until the morning. He lets himself in or bangs on the door, or my cat goes out to fetch him Cats protection have been, seen the house, spoken to the owners and are very much "he can't get in at night, he's shut out most of the time and the kids are not gentle with him"
pawpaws2022 · 22/02/2022 01:09

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats

OP, while I sympathise with you, experience would suggest that some cats are really extraordinarily persistent in trying to break in to other people's houses.
You called? Grin
To be hacked off with my neighbour ‘stealing’ my cat!
Chocaholic9 · 22/02/2022 03:52

I think you're being unreasonable. Cats are independent free spirits - they go where they want. Everyone who has ever had a cat knows this and it's what you signed up for when you got one.

Katkinsgreyy · 22/02/2022 03:56

Yanbu as this would annoy me too.

However, a few years ago I had a little ginger cat that would constantly be in my garden and try to come in the house!
If I left a window open, it would jump in!! It was just so persistent that in the end I gave up and let it do what it wanted.

sne3 · 22/02/2022 04:14

Keep the cat inside. Problem solved.

Suzi888 · 22/02/2022 04:30

@sne3

Keep the cat inside. Problem solved.
That’s a bit shit for the cat isn’t it. Hmm
urbanbuddha · 22/02/2022 04:40

The cat's going to go where it goes. It wants sole cat time. If these neighbours stop giving it a haven it'll find somewhere else.

2catsandhappy · 22/02/2022 04:42

@HugAHoodie The Mirror online is trending this story under Weird News.

sne3 · 22/02/2022 04:49

@Suzi888 Absolutely not. Our cat has been an inside cat since we adopted him. He's 7 now. He has a great life. He's currently sleeping in the sun.

He's inside, safe from cars, cats, dogs, snakes and other animals, and people who may not be kind to animals.

And he doesn't kill native wildlife, crap in other people's gardens, roam, get into fights with other cats, spray on other's property, yowl and annoy people etc.

autienotnaughty · 22/02/2022 05:51

Every time you see him in there I'd knock on the door and collect him. Hopefully this will wear thin and they will stop letting him in.

Goldenbear · 22/02/2022 06:30

Hmyblebee, I don't know what 'give over' means.

Op as this is AIBU, respectfully, I think you are and agree with the post about cats being free-spirited. It is a good job in some circumstances that cats are like this so they can escape terrible owners like the story above; unlike the non wandering dog. It is so cruel to lock it up if it is an outside cat, I can't believe that is being suggested.

erhellerr · 22/02/2022 06:34

My cat is a regular in many houses in my road and the next one. I'll always get a text to say she's there. She's especially in love with the 2 brothers who now live next door and has clocked their work patterns so she's ready to follow them in after work.

She returns because no one will spoil her with food and absolute free reign to sleep where she wants, quite like I do.

SweetPotatoDumpling · 22/02/2022 06:53

My lovely (but VERY DISLOYAL!!) cat completely abandoned me some years ago! It was a gradual process...we noticed he was coming home less and less, and looking much fatter! I figured he was being fed elsewhere...so kept him in for a month to try a reset. Didn't work! As soon as he was let out again...same thing!

We discovered that an elderly lady was coaxing him in with 'posh nosh', when her son came knocking to tell us, after he'd visited one day and saw our cat there. She admitted to the 'napping' but was not at all remorseful! Without keeping our cat in permanently there seemed very little we could do...she refused to stop and he clearly preferred her company and posh nosh. We came to an amicable agreement - we let home make his own mind up, and I lost 🤷‍♀️

You don't own a cat I'm afraid...they are fickle, independent creatures! 😢

spottedbadger · 22/02/2022 06:59

They think they are being kind, presumably…Perhaps that the cat is not happy at home which is of course bullshit, cats are tarts! One of ours used to come home fed and stinking of perfume, he was getting quite overweight too. We dropped flyers around the neighbourhood asking everyone not to feed him and although we never heard from his ‘granny’, we had a few commiserating messages from other cat owners whose cats were getting luuurrrve elsewhere Hmm

Msrepresented · 22/02/2022 07:13

This is your fault, not the neighbours if you let your cat roam it will. Cat proof your garden.

Hmbleybee · 22/02/2022 07:29

@Goldenbear

Hmyblebee, I don't know what 'give over' means.

Op as this is AIBU, respectfully, I think you are and agree with the post about cats being free-spirited. It is a good job in some circumstances that cats are like this so they can escape terrible owners like the story above; unlike the non wandering dog. It is so cruel to lock it up if it is an outside cat, I can't believe that is being suggested.

It's HMBLEYBEE.
lostoldname · 22/02/2022 07:36

We had a visiting cat at our old house. We never fed it but just preferred life on the top of our armchair rather than a busy house with children.

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