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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hacked off with my neighbour ‘stealing’ my cat!

249 replies

HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 14:51

Yes I know that cats are independent, will go where they want to go, have no loyalties etc

But a family local to me let my cat into their home every day. I can see him through their windows.

I understand how in warmer months this is difficult to avoid. But they are obviously letting him in.

I’ve spoken to them - at least 3 times - on the last occasion I specifically asked them (politely) to not open the door to him. My DC are upset as cat has basically buggered off and has to be lured into ours with food! The neighbours have said they’re not feeding him.

AIBU to feel pissed off about this and should I go round (again) to ask them to ignore my cat? Or am I being precious (and at least they’re kind to him)

OP posts:
Original poster
HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 20:03

@Goldenbear

YABU, the cat is obviously preferring his/her treatment there.
Golden bear, my DC arguably preferred their ‘treatment’ at GPs house when young, doesn’t mean they should have stayed there
OP posts:
Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 20:18

I'm just thinking of the cat....

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 21/02/2022 20:21

@Goldenbear

I'm just thinking of the cat....
Don't be ridiculous. You'd be happy to just give your dog or cat up because your neighbour let's them in their house?
Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 20:24

No, I didn't say that but aren't cats fluid with their loyalty like that. Can't the cat like both parties

Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 20:25

I mean they're not loyal like dogs are they?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 21/02/2022 20:29

@Goldenbear

I mean they're not loyal like dogs are they?
Some are. I've had 5. Out of my 3, 2 of them prefer me over anyone else and only go out for tiny bursts.

Some dogs aren't loyal either. As long as they're warm and fed they don't give a crap where or who they're with. There isn't a blanket rule.

You are wrong in thinking it is ok for someone to just keep a cat.

Hmbleybee · 21/02/2022 20:39

@Goldenbear

I mean they're not loyal like dogs are they?
So? It doesn't mean you can just steal one!
erhellerr · 21/02/2022 20:39

He's clearly unfulfilled at home. More strokes, better food and those new catnip dreamies is the solution here

Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 20:48

Tbf I'm not a cat owner but it sounds like erhellerr knows what they are talking about and it kind of backs up what I'm suggesting. I don't think you should keep it but maybe it prefers both families, what is wrong with that.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 21/02/2022 20:52

@Goldenbear

Tbf I'm not a cat owner but it sounds like erhellerr knows what they are talking about and it kind of backs up what I'm suggesting. I don't think you should keep it but maybe it prefers both families, what is wrong with that.
Because locking an animal that isn't yours in your house is wrong.

It's taken me getting a tracking collar to get the couple behind me to let my cat out by making it beep to alert them I want him home.

He's MY cat. I pay hundreds a month for my pets. I don't think someone can just decide to keep them

Original poster
HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 20:53

@Goldenbear

Tbf I'm not a cat owner but it sounds like erhellerr knows what they are talking about and it kind of backs up what I'm suggesting. I don't think you should keep it but maybe it prefers both families, what is wrong with that.
You’re not a cat owner. Are you a pet owner?

I love my cats. They’re both part of the family. The DC love them. My DH loves them. So funnily enough, it’s hard for me to simply shrug my shoulders and accept that hey, the cat loves the other house better so I should just let him CRACK ON

Not hard to empathise with that surely?

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 21/02/2022 20:58

My friend had a similar issue with their neighbours and her cat.

In the end she kept him in for a month and it seemed to reset his behaviour as he stopped going there after that.

Might be worth a try.

Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 21:01

I absolutely get the disappointment but cats by nature wonder in to other people's lives/territory (as they should do) im wondering if that causes the difficulties as other pets do not end up in your garden or at your door. They sound like they feel sorry for the cat.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 21/02/2022 21:03

@Goldenbear

I absolutely get the disappointment but cats by nature wonder in to other people's lives/territory (as they should do) im wondering if that causes the difficulties as other pets do not end up in your garden or at your door. They sound like they feel sorry for the cat.
And op has told them they have no reason to feel sorry for the cat and to not let it in but they still do!
MilkGoatee · 21/02/2022 21:04

The other day one of our cats came home and jumped on the couch with me. And she smelled of perfume (I don't wear any). She'd obviously been cuddling with someone.

I am concerned if she got fed by someone else, though, I think it has happened in the past (as she wasn't quick to eat her dinner). She's got three legs, so we monitor her food intake religiously, as it's likely going to lead to arthritis at some point, especially if she'd become overweight.

Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 21:06

Maybe they don't believe theb OP or just can't resist the big cat eyes, I don't know like I said im not a cat owner.

Mia184 · 21/02/2022 21:32

He's MY cat. I pay hundreds a month for my pets. I don't think someone can just decide to keep them

So because you pay hundreds of pounds per month, the cat doesn’t get any say at all? Be glad that you don’t own my cat, her unhappiness might cost you a couple of hundred pounds more. Luckily, her previous owner figured the likely cause (the other cats) and decided to find a new home for her. The overgrooming stopped when the cat moved in but I did have her checked by a vet to rule out any medical cause.

Hmbleybee · 21/02/2022 21:36

@Mia184

He's MY cat. I pay hundreds a month for my pets. I don't think someone can just decide to keep them

So because you pay hundreds of pounds per month, the cat doesn’t get any say at all? Be glad that you don’t own my cat, her unhappiness might cost you a couple of hundred pounds more. Luckily, her previous owner figured the likely cause (the other cats) and decided to find a new home for her. The overgrooming stopped when the cat moved in but I did have her checked by a vet to rule out any medical cause.

Can you not tell the difference between the previous owners finding a new home for their unhappy cat VS just stealing a neighbours cat?? Really?
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 21/02/2022 21:45

@Mia184

He's MY cat. I pay hundreds a month for my pets. I don't think someone can just decide to keep them

So because you pay hundreds of pounds per month, the cat doesn’t get any say at all? Be glad that you don’t own my cat, her unhappiness might cost you a couple of hundred pounds more. Luckily, her previous owner figured the likely cause (the other cats) and decided to find a new home for her. The overgrooming stopped when the cat moved in but I did have her checked by a vet to rule out any medical cause.

Where have I said my cats were unhappy and I was making them come home against their will? I must have missed where I posted that
Goldenbear · 21/02/2022 21:53

I am answering the OP though not above poster. They have put this in unreasonable and asked if they should regard the neighbour as being kind, I think they should.

MumUndone · 21/02/2022 21:59

I think letting someone else's cat into your house is theft.

Veryverysadandold · 21/02/2022 22:14

Haven't rtft but am torn as we have a street cat. He visits us and others regularly, is the loveliest boy ever, and has helped my mental health so much. There have been times that cat was the only good thing in my life, how sad is that Grin His owner doesn't mind though and has lots of cats, we send each other Xmas cards and my partner was invited round the other day and she was really happy that her cat has brought so much happiness and new friends. It's made me love where I live, never had neighbours I've known before and we're all united by cats haha. Find it pretty heartwarming in these dark times tbh. We never feed it BTW it just seems to like the quiet. On the other hand,if I had a cat I'd be sad if it left me so can understand how you feel!

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 21/02/2022 22:25

OP, while I sympathise with you, experience would suggest that some cats are really extraordinarily persistent in trying to break in to other people's houses.

Hmbleybee · 21/02/2022 22:29

@Goldenbear

I am answering the OP though not above poster. They have put this in unreasonable and asked if they should regard the neighbour as being kind, I think they should.
What are you babbling on about?!
Original poster
HugAHoodie · 21/02/2022 22:31

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats

OP, while I sympathise with you, experience would suggest that some cats are really extraordinarily persistent in trying to break in to other people's houses.
With that username, I’ll trust you on that Grin
OP posts: