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Original poster

To think some mnetters are deliberately obtuse

244 replies

Soubriquet · 21/02/2022 10:23

I’m not talking about those who English is a second language but words or phrases which are said by an OP, which may not be 100% clear, but by taking in the entire post, it’s clear what the OP means.

Some posters have to reply saying “xxx. What does xxx mean? I don’t understand”

When it’s cleared up, they have to return to say “oh. I only know it by it’s proper name yyy. I can’t bear people saying xxx”

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 21/02/2022 15:07

@DisappearingGirl

I agree! Or someone posts, I'm so upset, I think my husband is seeing another girl.

And someone has to reply, Do you mean your husband is dating a child? I don't understand.

Come on FFS

I was coming on here to say just that. Nothing on MN winds me up more than that. Of course they understand what the poster means, and just do it to make a point about what they feel should be the correct use of language. FFS there is a time and a place for that sort of thing.
Cheeseandlobster · 21/02/2022 15:10

@Aderyn21

daim it matters because it makes an otherwise really helpful site feel hostile to people who need it the most
Hear hear. The day we get complacent about people being arseholes to vulnerable people seeking help is a sad sad day
Freshprincess · 21/02/2022 15:13

@DrSbaitso

Oh, everywhere. Like the woman who claimed not to understand the concept of Christmas pyjamas (what are you struggling with?), or the ones who don't understand why someone might want to wear nice clothes and makeup for a first date, or whatever.
100% Posters who don’t ‘understand’ fairly obvious stuff is basically an excuse to be smug and superior.
ThinWomansBrain · 21/02/2022 15:15

Never heard of a tangie before.

Just off to eat my satsuma. (or is it a satsie?)

PriamFarrl · 21/02/2022 15:17

@BarbaraofSeville

If this is about me and the tangies, I genuinely didn't equate them with tangerines and thought the OP was talking about something similar to fruit winders.
Tangies? Nope. I’d have thought it was a style of knickers before I thought of fruit.
BearOfEasttown · 21/02/2022 15:18

@DisappearingGirl

I agree! Or someone posts, I'm so upset, I think my husband is seeing another girl.

And someone has to reply, Do you mean your husband is dating a child? I don't understand.

Come on FFS

Oh yes. This bugs me too.

And tangies meaning tangerines, like a pp I would NEVER have got that.

Also, when someone says (for example) 'I have a rash around my vagina and I am really suffering with soreness and itching...' CUE the bloody posters saying 'I think you mean VULVA OP!' Hmm

And the 'girl' comments piss me off. Nowt wrong with people saying GIRL instead of 'woman!'

WomanStanleyWoman · 21/02/2022 15:19

@Dixiechickonhols

It happens with regional words too. The meaning is there even if you don’t personally use that word Eg someone posts another mom hit my 2 year old in face and cut his lip and the first 5 posts are querying use of ‘American’ mom even after poster clarifies she’s in midlands and Mom used there. Or school took chocolate out of my daughter’s pack up - what’s a pack up? I call it a packed lunch but I can understand what op means. When I was little I was taught to read paragraph to try and get meaning if you didn’t understand a word.
The other annoying thing about regional words/expressions is that, the minute someone says something is ‘a common expression in Yorkshire’ (for example), someone else will pop up to say ‘Well, I’m from Yorkshire and I have NEVER heard that expression’. So bloody what? It’s not like Yorkshire is a one-street hamlet.
BearOfEasttown · 21/02/2022 15:20

@Spidey66

For some reason I hate the word ‘vulva’. It’s not that I’m a prude, it just grates on me. I don’t know why. Informally I would describe my ‘vulva’ as my fanny or my privates. In a formal sense I’d describe it as my vagina, or just outside my vagina. But oh no on MN it’s vulva or nothing. Ffs you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Yep this. ^

I will never EVER call it a vulva. It's my fanny and that's it! I don't know ANYone in real life who says 'VULVA!'

CrystalCoco · 21/02/2022 15:25

@Spidey66

For some reason I hate the word ‘vulva’. It’s not that I’m a prude, it just grates on me. I don’t know why. Informally I would describe my ‘vulva’ as my fanny or my privates. In a formal sense I’d describe it as my vagina, or just outside my vagina. But oh no on MN it’s vulva or nothing. Ffs you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Lol yes this one makes me laugh every time, gotta be exactly anatomically correct or you can't possibly expect to receive the correct advice, the first time I saw the vulva/vagina correction I was very Hmm
Dixiechickonhols · 21/02/2022 15:28

Yes the ‘girl’ one. There was a thread in relationships about Xmas time where the poster had seen a message pop up on iPad or something that her bf was off meeting another woman she was at home with baby and had posted clearly upset he was off with another ‘girl’ Very normal use of girl by Op who was in her 20s and very clear what situation was. Yet first page was taken up with people questioning ‘girl’ and her having to clarify he wasn’t a pedophile. Two pages in she got some proper advice and went to her mums. I do think people forget there’s a real person posting.

2Gen · 21/02/2022 15:31

@Aderyn21

Yes, there's wilful misunderstanding on some threads. Correcting someone's spelling or grammar on a thread where the OP is clearly in distress and snd asking for help is proper arsehole behaviour
Yes I agree. They are kicking someone who is already down and that's bullying!
Zazdar · 21/02/2022 15:33

If this is about me and the tangies

I immediately thought of the tangies, becauseI hadn’t a clue what they were either.

ThinWomansBrain · 21/02/2022 15:33

Also, when someone says (for example) 'I have a rash around my vagina and I am really suffering with soreness and itching...'

I can sort of ignore vagina rather than vulva, although it's irritating (perhaps not the best word in context of the above) - it's when poster uses something bonkers - like "foofoo" - or there was a post a few weeks ago about someone's "you know whats".

AllOfUsAreDead · 21/02/2022 15:34

Don't make excuses for them. They aren't obtuse, they are stupid.

MrsColinRobinson · 21/02/2022 15:39

YANBU

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 21/02/2022 15:41

@Aderyn21

daim it matters because it makes an otherwise really helpful site feel hostile to people who need it the most
I'm not advocating nastiness but this site and AIBU in particular does have reputation for direct and robust responses and opinions.
LondonReturner · 21/02/2022 15:55

But there are two different issues being conflated here, aren't there?

People responding in a cuntish way to an OP in distress writing "brought" instead of "bought", or "could of" instead of "could've" is not the same phenomenon as posters pointing out that they don't understand someone's bizarre, idiosyncratic, cutesy abbreviation. I would have no idea what a "tangie" was either!

DickMabutt73962 · 21/02/2022 16:08

I will never EVER call it a vulva. It's my fanny and that's it! I don't know ANYone in real life who says 'VULVA!'

Excuse me, it's a fanjo.

I'd never heard 'fanjo' before MN and I absolutely love it 😂

DickMabutt73962 · 21/02/2022 16:10

Lol yes this one makes me laugh every time, gotta be exactly anatomically correct or you can't possibly expect to receive the correct advice, the first time I saw the vulva/vagina correction I was very

Now cracking up trying to think if I've ever seen anyone reply 'do you mean your ANUS?'

It's funny that little things make people feel superior

DickMabutt73962 · 21/02/2022 16:12

@LondonReturner

But there are two different issues being conflated here, aren't there?

People responding in a cuntish way to an OP in distress writing "brought" instead of "bought", or "could of" instead of "could've" is not the same phenomenon as posters pointing out that they don't understand someone's bizarre, idiosyncratic, cutesy abbreviation. I would have no idea what a "tangie" was either!

My eyes rolled into the back of my head at 'tangies', but, as it was listed with other fruit, it really wasn't that hard to figure out what OP meant.

It was a bizarre post with OP announcing that the children get left a bowl of snacks/fruit to help themselves to.

AuntieStella · 21/02/2022 16:14

@Dixiechickonhols

Yes the ‘girl’ one. There was a thread in relationships about Xmas time where the poster had seen a message pop up on iPad or something that her bf was off meeting another woman she was at home with baby and had posted clearly upset he was off with another ‘girl’ Very normal use of girl by Op who was in her 20s and very clear what situation was. Yet first page was taken up with people questioning ‘girl’ and her having to clarify he wasn’t a pedophile. Two pages in she got some proper advice and went to her mums. I do think people forget there’s a real person posting.
It's an important difference.

Girl means female child, and it's very important establishing cases such as that exactly what it is the OP means. When someone has a sexual/romantic interest in children, it is a very serious matter.

Girl is not a synonym for woman, so you if you don't mean a child don't use the word for a child. It's not a 'normal' use at all, so is bound to lead to exactly the sort of concerns that gett posted when the OP's choice of words is actually describing paedophilia

Aderyn21 · 21/02/2022 16:16

Direct and robust is fine and often better than tiptoeing around a problem. But that's not the issue - it's the nitpicking over an unimportant detail or wilfully misunderstanding as an excuse to deliberately put the boot into a distressed poster. It's not necessary

MirrieDancer · 21/02/2022 16:19

@ThinWomansBrain

Never heard of a tangie before.

Just off to eat my satsuma. (or is it a satsie?)

I'm away to eat an orange. (I love a good orgy)
yellowsmileyface · 21/02/2022 16:24

Girl is not a synonym for woman, so you if you don't mean a child don't use the word for a child.

But people do use it as a synonym for women, whether it's technically accurate or not.

I feel like it would be very obvious in a post if the problem was that the boyfriend/husband/whatever was going off with a child. If someone is saying her boyfriend has gone off with "another" girl, the obvious implication is it's being used in the same way as "other woman", not that he has a history of paedophilia.

LucieLemon · 21/02/2022 16:29

*It's an important difference.

Girl means female child, and it's very important establishing cases such as that exactly what it is the OP means. When someone has a sexual/romantic interest in children, it is a very serious matter.

Girl is not a synonym for woman, so you if you don't mean a child don't use the word for a child. It's not a 'normal' use at all, so is bound to lead to exactly the sort of concerns that gett posted when the OP's choice of words is actually describing paedophilia*

Oh come off it! His is the exact type of pedantry that is being described.

If you genuinely struggle with language to that extent and can't determine from the context of the post what is inferred, these boards must be a nightmare for you.