Please help me make sense of this situation.
My son started a new small nursery/ large childminding setting at the beginning of January. The facility is in the owners home, but there are two key workers and about 10 children so bigger than his previous childminder setting.
He attends 15h over 2 days. He is a confident, social and happy 3 1/2 year old who communicates very well (he started talking in sentences at 20m old). The first couple of days he loved the setting and was desperate to attend.
On the third day I picked him up and he was inconsolable, the nursery owner mentioned that he wouldn't eat his dinner and was crying for his mummy (something he didn't tend to ever do and he loves his food so it was very unusual) whilst he was crying one of the other children told him to stop crying and that his 'mummy isn't coming back'. While telling me this the owner was kind of laughing and brushing it off saying that even the children were 'fed up' with his behaviour 
Anyway, over that weekend my son told me that the owner had shouted at him because he was impatiently asking for a tissue while all the children were eating. This is what set him off crying, asking for his mummy and not eating. He was clearly very frightened of the owner and did not want to attend. I text the owner and voiced my concerns about shouting at my son and politely asking that she does not unless he is doing something dangerous. I requested that she sit down with him and speak about what happened and apologise for raising her voice (something we do at home when voices are raised). This worked and he was once again happy to attend.
Anyway, this weekend my son mentioned that the nursery owner grabbed his arm and hurt him when he tried to leave the table after he finished eating.
AIBU to think this woman is a dinosaur and I really should talk to her about how she handles my child. I don't want to make a big deal of the arm grabbing after the shouting incident but I don't think I'm wrong to think this isn't how children should be treated?
UABU - this is normal, let the woman do her job. You are being too precious.
UANBU - this isn't normal and not how a nursery setting. It's reasonable to raise concerns with the owner.
Thanks for making it this far. My head is picked and I don't know if my feelings are disproportionate to the situation. I am apprehensive to move him to another setting as he seems settled now.