Wow! That’s a rather hysterical over-reaction @Justilou1. The OP is not offering any hospitality or catering to her DH’s friend. I agree that having someone she dislikes stay one weekend a month is a bit much. Why can’t the OP’s husband go and stay with his friend on alternate visits?
I think the key thing is what you’ve mentioned yourself. That it upsets the other people you live with. It’s not just YOUR house, it’s theirs too and you are being unfair by imposing your needs above theirs.
It cuts both ways, and it could be the OP who is being controlling. She isn’t the only one who lives in the house. There needs to be give and take, and the OP will just have to suck up that her DC will want friends round, or she will end up driving them away when they are old enough to decide for themselves whether they want to see other people.
I agree that it is rude not to reciprocate other people’s hospitality, so maybe the OP should just meet people in the pub or a café instead. There was one woman in our friendship group who used come for coffee at my house and other people’s houses, but never reciprocated. And yes, it was noticed and talked about.
I hate people in my home too so I don't allow it. When my DB was homeless he lived in tent in my garden, could you perhaps buy a tent for your guests to use?
@BobLep0nge
Seriously! 
If this is real I can’t believe anyone would be so mean spirited, especially in this weather. Your own brother! Jeez.
I don’t think this is an introvert/extrovert thing. I have friends (and a husband) who are introverts, but they still invite me into their homes, and don’t hide behind the curtains if the phone rings or someone knocks at the door. I think some posters may be on the autism spectrum, some are just unsociable and rude and some are just completely lacking in social awareness.