To tell colleague to butt out over pronounciation issue?

[frustratedpomegranate]

Colleague A started in our team around 3 years ago. She has an uncommon first name and we asked her at the start how to pronounce it and she told us. I've heard her on the phone and interacting with other staff hundreds of times and we say it the same way she does.

Colleague B started about four months ago and when introduced to A, she said 'isn't your name pronounced XYZ'. Colleague A said no, she says pronounces it ABC. B said she knew someone else with A's name and insisted it was XYZ.

B continues to pronounce A's name the way she thinks it should be (its quite different to what the rest of us are saying) and frequently corrects the rest of us when referring to A. We have spoken to A about it but she's very non confrontational and says she doesn't mind B's insistence and doesn't want to speak to her about it. B has quite an aggressive personality and has been prone to outbursts in the office a few times in the short while she's been with us so nobody is really sure what to do.

Colleague B is rude but if Colleague A isn't bothered by it you should just let it go.

Someone needs to inform B that it's a form of micro aggression to not pronounce As name the way they would like it to be pronounced, it's rude and shows a complete disregard for A. It doesn't matter who they've known before with the same name, I'm sure they wouldn't like it if their name was consistently pronounced wrong.

B is being rude and stupid. Doesn't matter if she is "right" about the standard pronunciation. This is A's name, so A gets to decide how it is said.

But yeah, I agree you should let it go if A is not bothered.

Do you all share a line manager?

I'd mention it to them. Say that A does seem to notice but hasn't chosen to say anything and that B is even 'correcting' the rest of you.

A good line manager will deal with it calmly and quickly.

A has every right to have her name pronounced how she prefers, whether it makes sense to anyone else or not. B is a bullying twat.

I'm petty, so I'd purposely pronounce colleague b's name wrong.

I wouldn't change the way I say her name. But you can't force A to complain. When your corrected just say "No she pronounces it ABC." and move on. Bs a right dick though.

If she corrects you, say ‘you know that’s not her name, right?’

Otherwise leave it.

Tell your line manager. B is being completely out of order. It's A's name she pronounces it however she wants.

Don’t let it go! I have a similar name and when I was a teenager I went tie to tie with a friend’s dad about the pronunciation of my male. I backed down of course. I was only 14. But now I’d say “well it’s MY name, I think I’d know how to bloody well say it”.

If A wants to be non confrontational, that’s up to her I guess. But people really do prefer to be called by their name, unless they say otherwise! The next time the colleague tried to correct me I’d just make myself clear. Every time. And I’d keep smiling and speaking quietly in the face of aggression..

Ignore B, unless she’s correcting you at the time. At that point say “You’re wrong, B, Colleague A pronounces it this way and it’s really rude to not respect that.”

If she tantrums talk to line manager.

I'd keep saying I think A knows how to pronounce her own name and you should be careful you don't come across as bullying.

Toe to toe. Not tie to tie… obviously..

I'm petty, so I'd purposely pronounce colleague b's name wrong. oh absolutely ditto. "Sharon" would be know as Sheiron. This is probably why I work alone though.

I would discretely raise it with a line manager to make them aware of the micro aggression.

Then everytime B refers to her as XYZ just say “who?”…and wait….

B continues to pronounce A's name the way she thinks it should be (its quite different to what the rest of us are saying) and frequently corrects the rest of us when referring to A.

If A doesn't want to confront her I would leave her to it.

But if B continued to go on about it and corrected me I would be polite but assertive the first time, the second time she would be told clearly enough what I thought that there wouldn't be a 3rd!

@ANameChangeAgain

I'm petty, so I'd purposely pronounce colleague b's name wrong. oh absolutely ditto. "Sharon" would be know as Sheiron. This is probably why I work alone though.

Me three!

I've actually done it. A colleague, Shirley, kept mispronouncing my common, well used name. She did not like being called Shitley.

Bs manager needs to step in and confront their aggressive personality in the workplace. It’s not ok for B to decide A is pronouncing their own name wrong and correct others on it, it’s not how good colleagues interact with eachother.

B is setting herself up to be fired for workplace bullying and when B insists that other people join in with her she is actively creating a hostile working environment for A. This needs to be brought to the attention of your management immediately before it escalates any further

I don't know exactly how these things work but if OP goes to the line manager, and line manager has a word with B, is there a chance B will assume A complained about them? That might create hostility towards A.

In any case B's a condescending twat. Can't stand people like that.

@Hoardasurass

B is setting herself up to be fired for workplace bullying and when B insists that other people join in with her she is actively creating a hostile working environment for A. This needs to be brought to the attention of your management immediately before it escalates any further

Yup and I would make note of when you told management in case it escalates

Colleague B should be reported for work place bullying !!!!

I want to know the name - and why doesB think she knows best?!

B is a prick.
They absolutely know they are, but want to piss on everyone think scent marking with a cat or dog to make a point - even though they are wrong.

They (B) need to be firmly put in their place by management, or by the rest of you as they are so obviously being a knob.

A absolutely must make a complaint about this, backed up by all of you lovely colleagues.

B is being absolutely unacceptable. From many years working in a job that requires taking down a lot of names, one thing I have learned is you can’t tell someone how to spell or pronounce their own name! For instance, I was brought up that Moses’s brother Aaron was pronounced Air-Ron but many people with that name pronounce it with the short A. If I come across one I respect his preference.
One boss I had was awful like this - we had a new team member had an African name but told us to call him by a short form but boss insisted on using the full version which then led to confusion with a similar-sounding European name being the first part of his name and therefore his first name.
The same boss insisted on misspelling my surname (UK, not that common but not hard to learn or work out) whereas I had learned to spell her surname which was East European before I started in the job.