Why do people from poorer backgrounds have low aspirations

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I may not be explaining myself well here so please bear with me!

I've seen on here a few times where it's been mentioned that people from poorer backgrounds / deprived areas don't have higher aspirations. It seems they can do better but don't.

Just wondering why this is and what would help to change it.

Reason I'm asking is I'm from a por background and I still am. I don't want this for my kids but don't know how or what to do to change it.

they dont get encouragement probably from family

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason and get into any field they wanted tobeith hard work and grit but I'm not sure that enough.

Do schools play a big part?

They are not surrounded by high achievers so it doesn't feel like the norm, and seems like something for "other people".

Look up the concept of cultural capital. See if anything resonates with you

Sometimes they're just not properly aware of the options. If you grow up and everyone you know has a low income job, you don't see being an investment banker or lawyer or a doctor as being possible for you. Children who grow up where everyone they know as this kind of job they just assume they will too, it doesn't cross their mind to work in Tesco or a care home. They're just programmed for academic and financial success from day one.

So in terms of helping you DC avoid this trap, make them aware of these possibilities. Talk about the options available to them. If you're in a position to introduce them to adults with a range of jobs, then do. Look out for opportunities for them and encourage them to take what is offered.

@TheBitchOfTheVicar

Look up the concept of cultural capital. See if anything resonates with you

Also this.

I was from a poor background and I am now very successful.

I had determination in me and was very competitive with my peers but I still had a good school to go to and we had same sex schools near us and my parents sent me there which I think absolutely is why I did so well. If I had distractions / boys - I’m not sure how I’d have fared.

I wanted to be an actress. I was shot down by my parents and they kept telling me to be a lawyer and money is the most important. I am in a high professional job. I was scared of disappointing my parents.

I think there are less role models for them to model themselves on...e.g. Drs often come from families of Drs etc. Less opportunities available, less networks, less old school tie stuff, can't afford to intern for free, less space for schoolwork, less school input. Basically class division,

@BlusteryLake

They are not surrounded by high achievers so it doesn't feel like the norm, and seems like something for "other people".

Yes I can totally relate to this definitely. We live in a very deprived area and a 20 minute walk from my home takes you up million pound houses and porches. Its like another world.

Also, you know there are doctors and solicitors. But you don't know there are Chief Financial Officers for example. You just don't know, because you don't come across people who do these jobs iyswim

I think encouraging lots of interests is important and making their world bigger. E.g. I worked on a housing estate walking distance from the sea. Could literally walk there on my lunch break. Always surprised how many of the school kids have never been to the sea.

Take your kids out and about as much as possible. It’s good to tell them they can do any job but let them see the people doing these jobs and that they are just normal people. Take them to museums and any workshops and activities. Join the library and read to them and talk about the books.

Perhaps sign up for a course or look at a career improvement for yourself. If they see it is important to you, they will pay attention.

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason and get into any field they wanted tobeith hard work and grit but I'm not sure that enough.

For the fast majority I don't think it is enough unfortunately.

@TheBitchOfTheVicar

Look up the concept of cultural capital. See if anything resonates with you

I agree. Also, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know - the rich help out their own, and so the cycle continues. Plus, those with money make more from investments etc so, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Social mobility is at an all time low. Uni fees are too much for some MC families to afford, so higher education will seem like an impossibility for lots, especially if parents haven't considered it for their children.

Yes, it's about seeing possibilities I think, and believing that life can be better for people like you. It can be difficult to see beyond the circumstances of your immediate family and community.

I agree re cultural capital as well. But more than anything, I think it's about hope, vision and belief. You can't aspire to something if it doesn't seem to be real or within reach.

I guess if your parents , extended family & family friends don’t have professional jobs, doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers, etc then those jobs might feel more unobtainable.
How old are your children?

I actually think it’s just innate in people and you can’t change it too much. I’m a high achiever academically, but don’t earn much due to SEN children’s needs. My children have all been encouraged to go on to higher education and only one has. The others are bumbling through life doing not a lot. They could’ve all gone to uni and were heavily encouraged to do so. 🤷🏻‍♀️

vast.

I think it was easier in some ways in the past but social mobility seems to be going backwards.

Look at house prices, your chance of owning a property these days will depend more if your parents can help you (live at home, cash) as opposed to your salary.

For me, even with going to uni I had no idea how a career might progress. It was completely out of my experience, the adults I knew well had jobs not careers.

Education, education, education.

That's the way to a better life for most poor kids.

Support them in that. Expose your kids to lots of different experiences. Build their confidence and listen to them a lot so they can develop good communication and develop their ideas.

And likeable people get more opportunities. No one wants to work with unsociable or shitty colleagues.

This isn't an issue caused by schools but a massive issue that schools contend with daily. You wouldn't believe the amount of incredibly intelligent children that I've seen go on to low paid jobs because that's what they've seen those around them do.
Schools work hard to build cultural capital, particularly at primary, but often it's a sticking plaster and then due to the constraints of the curriculum it's not continued so much at secondary.

It then gets worse when hormones hit. Teenagers don't want to stand out to be different so if they're friend is disillusioned, and low aspiring they often are too .

The best way you can inspire your own child is to keep building your own future and let them see you do it- take them with you. Take courses. Go to aspirational areas. Even just for a walk. Talk constantly. Watch programmes that inspire. Get involved with clubs and a variety of sports where different groups of people are. Encourage your child to build friendships outside your local area

Education, education, education.

How accessible is this to everyone though?

I went to excellent state schools as a dc but proximity wasn't such an issue. My dc's school has a catchment of 250 meters & a house costs 1.2m.

They aren’t encouraged to reach their full potential.

Schools are firefighting and if you’re bright and stay out of trouble you are left to it. No one says ‘that B isn’t reflective of your ability, you can get an A and here’s how we can support you’. They’re just thankful you don’t cause trouble.

You don’t know what you’re aiming for when you’re young - you don’t necessarily know what success looks like and what it takes to get there.

Money worries mean families are generally more concerned with feeding and clothing their family than exposing them to stimulating environments.

There is a culture of not wanting people to ‘get above their station - told you think you’re too good for your environment, that you’re up yourself etc.

That is my experience. I grew up in poverty on a council estate with a dysfunctional family and whilst far from rich I think by many measures I have a reasonably successful life.

This is a common misconception. As children, people have similar, lofty aspirations. It’s not that working class children don’t, they do! However, their circumstance often beats it out of them - they are told either implicitly or otherwise that their aspirations are unlikely, so, they lost them.

PP mentioned cultural capital and this is definitely a factor, but so too are the low expectations of influential adults around children in lower social classes. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy much of the time.

This also works the opposite way - entirely mundane middle class children are raised to believe that they can do ‘anything’ indeed that they are entitled to achieve their ambitions. Thus they are imbibed with the impetus to do so, nothing tells them otherwise constantly.

Aspiration is not the preserve of the middle and upper classes, entitlement and self confidence often are though.

Is it a class thing? Different classes look at each other with a bit of contempt? Why would you want to change team if you are happy where you are? We are council estate, very happy, so are all the local families, if I had footballers wages would I want to leave where I am but feel awkward unwelcome staying?