Why do people from poorer backgrounds have low aspirations

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I may not be explaining myself well here so please bear with me!

I've seen on here a few times where it's been mentioned that people from poorer backgrounds / deprived areas don't have higher aspirations. It seems they can do better but don't.

Just wondering why this is and what would help to change it.

Reason I'm asking is I'm from a por background and I still am. I don't want this for my kids but don't know how or what to do to change it.

I can't comment on the aspirations of people from low-income backgrounds.

But I agree with the posts about the circles you frequent. My kids are at private school and most of the parents are bankers, doctors, accountants etc. Ditto for our uni friends. I went into investment banking with no family knowledge or background in it. But it's easier for my kids as I can explain what's quite a complex job in a straightforward way. They've also had a lot of advice from our friends about work experience opportunities.

I'm not saying that materialism is a good thing. My brother is the most contented person I know, working for minimum wage and living in social housing. My kids have dismissed careers that don't pay particularly well even though they would enjoy being a sports teacher or whatever. They want to have a similar lifestyle to us. I know they're being pragmatic but it is also a bit of a shame.

Things that help:

• being aware from a young age of what jobs earn you a lot
• cultural capital: being raised in a home where you have constant access to loads of high quality literature, parents who by default choose leisure activities that tend to build useful skills - playing board games that build maths activities, coding robot toys
• educational support - highly educated parents who can provide a LOT of help at home, and who know that most state schools are not very pushy
• sharp elbowed parents. Knowing that what school report back to parents is rarely indicative of their relative position within cohort - a well behaved but average child is likely to get a glowing parents evening. More highly educated parents know they need to target high academic attainment and will be doing a lot extra at home.

@swirlsy

They cannot contemplate life without mum down the road, or sister half a mile away. And they have family close, which is lovely.

This is me, I love having family close by 😆.

Yeah I wasn't knocking it, it is a huge and valid pull. I don't want to be in and out of my extended family's life on the daily, I have no time for the drama!

I am wc and was the first in my family to go to Uni. While my family were supportive I did have to put up with a lot of bullying from people I grew up for for getting above myself. I knew I wanted to get away so keep going but can see why a lot of people stay where they are - they have friends/family etc around them. I am now (I suppose) well off but still have to occasionally put up with not fitting in - too well off to be WC, not MC when growing up so judged by some as beneath them. I have a chip on my shoulder about never being good enough.

We are saving up so our DC will not have to take out loans to get through Uni & to give them a deposit for their first house.

I think it is nature not nurture that is stronger to be honest.

If a person has a will to succeed and ambition then with effort and determination much is possible.

Plenty of people have left poverty and achieved a better life.

I agree with a lot of previous posts. I do think the family has a lot of influence. My parents didn't let me take the 11 plus as 'it's not for the likes of us'. Definitely push your kids out of your comfort zone and try and widen their horizons.

I was desperate to leave where I'd grown up and determined that I wouldn't have 6 kids by 6 blokes like a lot of the girls at my awful secondary school.

@swirlsy

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason and get into any field they wanted tobeith hard work and grit but I'm not sure that enough.

For the fast majority I don't think it is enough unfortunately.

I agree and it's also true that most people just cannot be brain surgeons or astrophysicists even with all the help possible. I really struggle with 'you can be anything you want'.

Not all poor people. Also depends on the intelligence level of the individual, I guess.
I’m the first from my family to go to university.
I seriously lacked confidence and thought I was too stupid for uni.
My parents wanted me to get a bog standard job in an office and never encouraged me to go to university - like that wasn’t even an option for me.
I left school after a levels and had no desire to do any of those boring office jobs. Decided I wanted to go to uni and did an additional qualification which enabled that, graduated top of my class, and now I’m a healthcare professional and love my job

Growing up, I only knew about the popular jobs on television... Doctor, Lawyer etc. Had never heard of an engineer, CEO, urban planner, humanitarian aid worker. I had big aspirations but my parents wouldn't have even known where to start in teaching me about what it was take to succeed in my big goals, not to mention I had to work my way through all my Uni, so I couldn't be as focused on my studies/volunteering/taking on research opportunities. I am nearly 40 and still learning and growing. I now have a Master's Degree. I've had a good life so far but career-wise I've never really settled into anything. Ah well, I value other things more I guess!

I also agree with PP who said about not knowing how to build a career.
I was encouraged to achieve well academically and go to uni, which I did.
But as far as my parents were concerned that was as far as their coaching could take me.
I didn't know what to do next, how much work it takes once in the workplace to progress, keep achieving, moving up the ranks. Never heard of CPD, or even considered it.
You have to keep working so hard even once you get your foot on the ladder, and I learnt nothing of that from my parents.
Not their fault of course! But I didn't know any adults in that corporate world.

I think it’s harder to imagine what is possible if you don’t know people who are doing different things. For example I didn’t have any qualms about aiming for university because I knew my uncles had and my aunt had. But I had a friend who was the first in her family going to university. My 16/17 year old self had to reassure her parents that the student loan would be worth it.

Talk to everyone you know with your kids about what they do, what their relatives do. Persuade your kids to put down one really good university on their UCAS form just incase. So encourage them to stretch a bit further.

Also don’t put them off traveling to a uni a bit further away if it might be better for what they want to do. Also there are vocational jobs that will really suit some people. Apprentices. Many different ways to get training.

Be aware of the student loan but don’t let it hold you back or them back. You sort of have to balance it. Studying takes time and money but you can’t let fear of it stop you. Does that make sense?

Sometimes careers services aren’t so helpful. At uni they are a bit better then at school. Still make the most of them. But some of it will come from your friends and family. My uncle saw my first job in a paper. Second job I saw on line. I could see myself doing it.

Also some courses have money attached to them where the student gets paid (in areas where they need people). If your kids like sciences it can help them do their masters for example. So if you can help them think about where skills are needed it can be easier for them.

Help them get summer jobs. So they can see what people do for work.

Also a lot of working class kids have major aspirations, loads of self confidence, supportive parents, fantastic talents, are intelligent, creative, great at sports, etc. But they don't have the connections and the capital (financial and social) to get them seen and the success they would surely have if we truly lived in a 'meritocracy'

Of course for kids living in poverty, food scarcity, fuel poverty, fear of homelessness or actual homelessness, these kinds of issues mean they are never able to reach anyway near their full potential. They go on to have kids themselves believing they must be stupid when in reality they have been failed repeatedly by a societal structure created in the interests of wealthy people.

I think a lot of people don't have low aspirations. Actually they have great awareness that aspiration does not equal reward. That if you have no clear route to becoming a millionaire it might be better to focus on being self sufficient from a young age in a stable job.

There was a lot of stuff a few years back about getting poorer kids to be more aspirational about their school choices. What's the point of aspiring to go to somewhere 'good' you're unlikely to get into when if you aspire to go to the local 'needs improvement' comprehensive you will get what you want?

For a lot of people high aspiration is an illusion that brings them a lot of misery, whereas aspiring within their reach brings them comfort and attainment in life. Success by their measure and not somebody else's.

People with inherited wealth have a head start in life. Many people from poor backgrounds are already marginalised from society and have to work 100% harder than their peers to attain what is given to their peers on a silver spoon. This grind leads to those with no financial back up to suffer socio-econonically, with their health and well-being.

@LimeSegment

This can be the case in a rich or poor family but sometimes it's a case of not really knowing what jobs are out there. If you don't know anyone that does whatever job, it doesn't seem like you could get that job. Or you might not even know it exists, or know much about it.

Yes and some jobs only exist in very big cities.

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason

I think well off parents tend to look at their own child very pragmatically and consider their skills and then encourage them towards suitable careers where their own skills are likely to be best rewarded. Eg DH, mathsy, encouraged towards investment/finance. BiL- not mathsy, more of a writer etc - encouraged towards law. SIL - more creative/people person, encouraged towards a marketing based career where she does v well in client facing capacity.

@suggestedlogin

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason and get into any field they wanted tobeith hard work and grit but I'm not sure that enough.

Do schools play a big part?

You havent said how old your kids are- so its difficult to tailor the advice- but they need to be with kids who want to succeed.

In primary you need to try and get into the Outstanding primary school.
Try to get them into the best secondary you can- dont just think they'll be fine at secondary.
If no good school where you live try and move into a good catchment.
The kids they mix with will help affect their outlook. This will make or break them.

A good school makes the rest of it much easier.

If the school isnt good- is there a local grammar you could try to get into?

Tutoring if in Secondary, dont just leave them to it, they need to know you know they can do well but also that you expect they will do well.

Extracurricular activities will help broaden their horizon- cadets/ scouts is very cheap and can provide lots of different experiences they may not get at school.
Main subjects to concentrate on- maths, science and English. As long as they do well in these subjects the world will open up for them.

The aim is to get into University- but not just any course, really think about how this course will help with any career. Theres no point in doing a course for 3 years and then find there isnt any jobs at the end of it.

School has a lot to do with it, I was a very academic child and took my GCSEs early, yet the only career advice I got was to become a beauty therapist.

Lynsey Hanley ( an academic form a working class background) has written excellently about this topic. She presented a series in radio 4 called Wall in the Mind. Unfortunately not available on BBC sounds, but I found an episode here soundcloud.com/user6547683/wall-in-the-mind-part-2

DH is from a typically low-achieving background. His mum hated me because I was ‘stuck up’ and made him retake his GCSEs. She was over the moon with his Cs and DS. He did much better in resits but that’s probably because she had thrown him out and he was living with my family and was able to revise. His brother was very bright - naturally excelled academically with no support. She told him she would buy him a car if he dropped out of school at 16 and worked at a supermarket with her. DH is a high earner now but that is despite his family, not because of them. His brother still works at a supermarket and has for 25 years. He could have done any job he turned his mind to if he had the support.

A poor background does not automatically translate to low aspirations. If everything is given to you easily in life, how can an individual from a well off background honestly say they have 'high aspirations'. What are these measured against? Material wealth, education, culturally, health??

@suggestedlogin

I do encourage my kids and tell them that they can literally do any job within reason and get into any field they wanted tobeith hard work and grit but I'm not sure that enough.

Do schools play a big part?

Because this is totally unrealistic for most families living in poverty OP.

@dreamingofaholidaysoon

This isn't an issue caused by schools but a massive issue that schools contend with daily. You wouldn't believe the amount of incredibly intelligent children that I've seen go on to low paid jobs because that's what they've seen those around them do. Schools work hard to build cultural capital, particularly at primary, but often it's a sticking plaster and then due to the constraints of the curriculum it's not continued so much at secondary.

It then gets worse when hormones hit. Teenagers don't want to stand out to be different so if they're friend is disillusioned, and low aspiring they often are too .

The best way you can inspire your own child is to keep building your own future and let them see you do it- take them with you. Take courses. Go to aspirational areas. Even just for a walk. Talk constantly. Watch programmes that inspire. Get involved with clubs and a variety of sports where different groups of people are. Encourage your child to build friendships outside your local area

I totally agree, especially the second paragraph, standing out takes a great deal of courage, staying in to do homework when your pals are out has always been hard. As a teacher a spent a lot of time talking with teenagers who wanted to do well be felt being from a council estate would hold them back, they were surprised at my council house background. Schools tend to get the blame for lack of success but unless a child has strong parental support they will always struggle, one abiding memory I have is a bright, 14 year old girl saying to me It's great here in school but then I have to go home.

www.boredpanda.com/privilege-explanation-comic-strip-on-a-plate-toby-morris/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Have a look at this cartoon, it illustrates why absolutely perfectly.

If not mentioned already then Confidence.

Privately educated kids especially seem to be more confident. it's a valuable attribute in pursuing a career.

"But for some teens becoming a Doctor etc is completely unachievable"

For most surely? And if anyone could become a doctor it would not longer be a prestigious and highly paid job.