Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:
fortunenookie · 20/02/2022 10:53

@rambleonplease

Aside from all the keyboard warrior LTB people on here. No he should not have kicked the dog! I have had dogs all my life and never once have they been kicked. Lesson should be, do not leave food out you do not want the dog to have. Then don't abruptly remove food from a dog while they are eating it, this is exactly when any dog could bite or nip you. He should have just learnt that he was in the wrong handling the dog with food like that in the first place. The dog did nothing wrong other than what is instinctive to them.

How long have you had the dog?

Your animal behavioural stuff is all well and good but this man deliberately hurt their pet dog. Don’t be so naive and ignorant as to what the full implications of this are. It is abuse. If you knew much about abuse and had cognisance of where animal abuse falls of a spectrum of escalating behaviours towards actual people - like your wife and kids for example Hmm-then you’d be less flippant about it.
Beamur · 20/02/2022 10:53

I wonder how he treats your dog when you're not around?

DropYourSword · 20/02/2022 10:53

@Chickencuddle

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc
Oh lovely. I've just seen your other posts about him. He's also a sexually abusive absolute piece of shit. Everything you've written about this man makes my skin crawl. He's fucking horrendous. And now he's escalating.
BackwardsPrawn · 20/02/2022 10:54

He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick.

For this alone, he's a fucking idot.

colliecolliecollieoioioi · 20/02/2022 10:54

unless your husband has a brain tumour or dementia or something else altering his personality, it would be over for me

Stompythedinosaur · 20/02/2022 10:54

This is a deal breaker and I would leave someone over this.

balalake · 20/02/2022 10:55

I'd be very upset and concerned it was not a one-off.

Though tell David Moyes and he'll give him a game at West Ham.

LadyPropane · 20/02/2022 10:55

The only man I've seen kick his own pet dog was my ex, and he also used to kick and hit me... So...🤷

pictish · 20/02/2022 10:56

Yeah…the two further kicks tell all. Awful. Every bit as horrid as you imagine….and he’s trying to excuse it too.
Not good.

fortunenookie · 20/02/2022 10:56

@rambleonplease

And as I wrote that about abuse guess what it turns out it’s already happening

Mummytotwonow · 20/02/2022 10:56

That would be it for me!! I couldn’t forgive that. Angry

damnthisvirusandmarriage · 20/02/2022 10:56

It would be a definite no from me too. I would absolutely not tolerate this.

Get out of this relationship. It’s liberating. Life changing. It’s bloody hard but you’ll reap so many rewards.

Mellowyellow222 · 20/02/2022 10:59

Oh heavens another man gaslighting away his cruel behaviour.

First things first he kicked the family pet, repeatedly. Is the day safe in your house?

Second why are you with this man? He sounds horrible and dismissive of you

FlasherMcGruff · 20/02/2022 10:59

No, YANBU. It’s shocking. He kicked his dog when it wasn’t posing any sort of threat and the first miss gave him time to think, but he went for the dog again, so he was determined to kick it. Worst of all, he’s making excuses and trying to make out that you are exaggerating it and he did nothing wrong. It was only light / I only did it once / other people do it are all pathetic excuses. The only reason I’d ever kick a dog is if it was mid attack and it was necessary to try and get it off another dog or person. Your dog sounds like it went for the food and accidentally nipped him, leaving no mark, so you’d husband decided to take his temper out on it like a bully.

username1293948 · 20/02/2022 11:00

Violence towards animals says a LOT about someone’s character.

SolidGoldBrassiere · 20/02/2022 11:01

I very rarely read posters' previous threads, but as someone on here mentioned it, I did.

@Chickencuddle This man is very, very bad news. Your parents did you a terrible disservice in not showing you what a good relationship or a functional family life looks like. I know you are scared of splitting up your family and making the children unhappy, but they are currently living in a dysfunctional situation - which is the last thing you would want, given your own past experiences. Nice Dads don't kick their family pets and then try to justify it. I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to be apart from your children at all (that's why I stayed), so if you are not going to leave him, can you at least tell someone in real life what's going on, and ask for help or at least proper advice on what would happen in terms of a) finances; and b) him having access to the children?

Who's he going to kick next, if they disobey him?

FlowerArranger · 20/02/2022 11:01

@Chickencuddle...
I remember your thread last year. It's very sad that you are still with this brute of a man. You were planning to leave - it's sad to find that this did not happen and that you and your children are still exposed to his brutality. Flowers

Dillydollydingdong · 20/02/2022 11:02

That's a bit like that bastard footballer who kicked his cat.

FlasherMcGruff · 20/02/2022 11:03

Also, I find it horrible that he says if a dog does something bad you tap it on the nose or give it a kick. No, you don’t ever ever use physical punishment / threat / fear to train a dog. You train with rewards. I wonder how often he has hit and kicked your dog. What a shit vegan and horrible pet owner. YANBU - he is so in the wrong here that I wouldn’t trust him alone with your dog.

rambleonplease · 20/02/2022 11:04

@fortunenookie I have some awareness of abuse thank you having left an abusive partner many years ago. I can tell you it was not one isolated incident that made me leave though, it was cumulative incidents, attitudes and behaviours that resulted in me leaving.

I do however have issue with the MN brigade that tells so many women to LTB all the bloody time. It's very boring. All you get on MN is a snippet of info. Occasionally with a lot of back story I agree that LTB is probably good advice, in this instance I agree it's certainly a red flag but I am not going to come on here hiding behind my anonymous keyboard and tell the OP to leave him based on one isolated bit of information. If she decides that's this is it based on her life with this man and actually knowing what is normal for him then so be it.

DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 20/02/2022 11:04

Red flag. Cruel and unapologetic. Not a healthy combination.

RockpoolGirl · 20/02/2022 11:05

Your husband is a piece of shit. You neither hit an animal on the nose nor kick it. It’s abuse. Your poor dog. Please please regime him. Do not subject him to a lifetime of fear.

And don’t make excuses for your husband.

RockpoolGirl · 20/02/2022 11:05

*rehome

FlamingoQueen · 20/02/2022 11:06

My dog bit my finger (trying to get something out of his mouth) and I didn’t kick him afterwards. I had to go to hospital, my dh wasn’t home, but adult son was - he shouted at the dog and told him to stay in the lounge!
I knew my dog didn’t mean to bite me - I had my finger in his mouth - but I still didn’t want my ds shouting at the dog!
I forgave my dog (of course!), but if someone had kicked him, I couldn’t forgive them. If it had been my dh - he would’ve left the house that night!

KateTheEighth · 20/02/2022 11:06

@Chickencuddle

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc

Vegans can still be cunts