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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:

rahjama · 20/02/2022 09:48

Agree dog needs to be taken to vets mine fell down two stairs and had internal bleeding.

That is so awful. Fuck him. I hate him.

PangolinPie · 20/02/2022 09:48

Sorry, it may be bad form but I searched your user name based on GrazingSheep's comment and it's no surprise he's done this. I really hope you decide to leave him now. There's support out there to do it. He really is abusive.

TricolourCat · 20/02/2022 09:48

Very concerning violence against a defenceless dog, as recommended take the dog to the vet without delay to check for any fractures however minor and your thug at home can pay for it. Never leave him alone with the dog and either find a loving owner who would adore the dog or punish your husband and ask him to leave. Why should your dog leave his home the thug should go.

Shmithecat2 · 20/02/2022 09:49

OP, you really need to leave him, and not just because of this incident. This isn't the first time he's displayed some sort of abuse, is it?

Darbs76 · 20/02/2022 09:49

It might sound over the top but I would leave him. I adore my dog and if my partner kicked him 3 times that would be the end. Disgusting behaviour

SouperNoodle · 20/02/2022 09:49

Keep the dog, dump the man.

Darbs76 · 20/02/2022 09:50

And if don’t leave him find your dog another home where he won’t be abused

LeedleLee · 20/02/2022 09:54

A reactive kick after being bitten I can understand. But purposely going after the dog and kicking them twice more? That's a premeditated action. He would be my ex husband after that, I'm afraid.

LeedleLee · 20/02/2022 09:56

Also yes, I agree with previous posters. Someone who is cruel to animals rarely stops there.

Cakelover17 · 20/02/2022 09:58

I’d have already kicked him out, if you won’t leave him you need to give the dog to the RSPCA. Did you not see the stuff in the news with that footballer who kicked his cat? Wasn’t as aggressive as your DH and the guys had his life ruined, cats removed, largest fine possible. And your wondering if you are over reacting by ‘feeling appalled’.

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2022 10:00

Nope. I’ve been married for a few decades but that would be it for me I’m afraid.

We have a pet that (for some reason) bit one of my adult kids on the foot when they were engrossed in something on a computer and it was completely unexpected. As a reflex they kicked them and the pet being small went flying across the room. Once their brain had quickly processed what had occurred they were hysterical and actually went into shock which I had to deal with as well as the animal kicked across the room. If they had of consciously kicked it I would have demanded they packed their bag. Even if it was DH I would have done the same. As far as I’m concerned this is a normal reaction to (inadvertently) hurting an animal. To do so purposefully I couldn’t accept.

NotMyGenderGoblin · 20/02/2022 10:02

So let's get this straight... if someone kicks a dog three times so hard that it makes the dog back away then you need to accept all of the financial and emotional costs of leaving them and building a new life?

What would, in an ideal world, be the appropriate extra sanctions if the kick had been so hard that the dog had whimpered?

What would, in an ideal world, be the appropriate extra sanctions if the kick had been so hard that the dog had actually suffered real physical harm and been hurt?

Which of the above three levels of harm is equivalent to being someone who eats dairy and thus contributes to the horrors of the dairy industry?

Which of the above three levels of harm is equivalent to being someone who eats literal meat?

Is six years inside sufficient punishment for someone who works in a abattoir?

I promise I'm not sitting here thinking eating meat is the same as animal cruelty, or that you aren't right to be extremely angry and upset and seriously considering your feelings... but it really is easy to blow things out of proportion.

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 10:03

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc

OP posts:

NotMyGenderGoblin · 20/02/2022 10:03

@LeedleLee

Also yes, I agree with previous posters. Someone who is cruel to animals rarely stops there.

I think that there is a level between "one kick in the moment" and "cruelty". Three kicks is much worse than one, but it's not quite the same as a childhood of torturing every innocent creature he could get his hands on.

comfortablyfrumpy · 20/02/2022 10:04

Honestly if a husband of mine did that he would rapidly become an Ex. That is one thing I absolutely could not live with.
Poor dog.

Ramalamadingdongs · 20/02/2022 10:05

He's not that into animal rights is he. Cruel fucking bastard.

RockstarDotCom · 20/02/2022 10:06

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc

Clearly not.

CounsellorTroi · 20/02/2022 10:07

He is normally such an animal lover

No he really isn’t.

Lady089 · 20/02/2022 10:07

What a cunt! Would he kick a toddler who bit him? Why does he think it’s acceptable to do this to a defenceless animal. That would be it for me, he’d be out. If he’s done this once, he’ll do it again.

NotMyGenderGoblin · 20/02/2022 10:08

@Cakelover17

(1) You have no idea whether Zouma or OP's OH were the worst offenders. Based on what I read and saw both did appalling things, but OP's OH was at least reacting to something, whereas Zouma was being a complete arsehole for now reason.

(2) Zouma's life is not ruined. He has been fined two week's wages (£250k or so), the cats have been taken away (for now at least), and he is going to be doing some education / learning with the RSPCA I think. The knowledgeable best guess is he'll get the cats back from what I've read.

Shoxfordian · 20/02/2022 10:08

Yeah he sounds really interested in animal rights

He’ll kick you next

BadgerStripes · 20/02/2022 10:09

@violetbunny

This makes me feel sick. Poor dog. There is no way I could live with such a bully

This Your poor dog, your H is an animal abuser.

EvilPea · 20/02/2022 10:09

From what you’ve said his toe got in the way as he snapped back to get the food.

He’s a piece of shit and that would be it for me

Lady089 · 20/02/2022 10:09

And OP stop justifying his behaviour, whether he’s a vegan or not, he abused your pet. If you stand by and allow this, you are being complicit.

comfortablyfrumpy · 20/02/2022 10:10

@PangolinPie

I have had a quick look and agree - I honestly can't think of one good reason not to leave him.

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