Husband kicked dog

[Chickencuddle]

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

Rehome the husband. That is awful.

I can understand someone lashing out once if the dog did actually bite (and yours might not have done here), but three times is a continued onslaught.

He's done worse to you though OP, and you still haven't left him. So I'm not even sure why you're posting here. For whatever reason, you're still with a POS abuser - if you tolerate it yourself, it's fairly certain you're going to let abuse towards your dog slide too. Good luck to you all. You need it.

@LittleWins

And if you foolishly stay together please give the dog to a rescue centre. They deserve so much better.

^I agree. Either rehome ‘D’H or rehome the dog so it can live in a loving home without fear.

Appalling

Nope.... nope and nope cruel and I hope he gets bit by a polar bear.

@NotMyGenderGoblin it’s an example of someone facing consequences for kicking an animal as the OP was considering if she was over reacting or not, I have zero interest in debating the footballer with you.

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.

Poor dog. If he does this in front if you I dread to think what he does behind your back. I would leave because of this. I couldn't look at him the same again.

Animal lover my arse. I could not allow that man to be near an animal again.

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.

Of course he laughed at you - he abused you and you're still with him. He knows there's no consequences to his actions.

OP so the reaction wasn’t instinctive, it was deliberate and thought out as he went back because he missed the first time. Dread to think how he’d treat you in an argument if you did something wrong!

As others have said, looking at your past posts about this man, you need to get rid of him. He’s abusive.

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.

This is what he does. It doesn't sound like a one off reaction to a bite. This is how he punishes your dog. Maybe suggest talking to the RSPCA about appropriate ways to correct a dogs behaviour. See if he is up for that. I actually think what he is saying makes it worse.

Awful. I wouldn’t trust him alone with the dog ever again. I also would have lost respect for him straight away, he’s supposedly the more intelligent of the two. He should be able to control himself a lot better and seems to be completely unrepentant and unaware that the dog has limited intelligence and we need to account for that with its behaviour. He’s not got the right mindset to be responsible for an animal if he can’t understand that and control his anger and subsequent reactions.

the fact he said that's how you correct a dog, shows that this is how he will always do it. disgusting . give the dog away if you're going to keep the husband as he's not fit to live with animals.

@NotMyGenderGoblin

So let's get this straight... if someone kicks a dog three times so hard that it makes the dog back away then you need to accept all of the financial and emotional costs of leaving them and building a new life?

What would, in an ideal world, be the appropriate extra sanctions if the kick had been so hard that the dog had whimpered?

What would, in an ideal world, be the appropriate extra sanctions if the kick had been so hard that the dog had actually suffered real physical harm and been hurt?

Which of the above three levels of harm is equivalent to being someone who eats dairy and thus contributes to the horrors of the dairy industry?

Which of the above three levels of harm is equivalent to being someone who eats literal meat?

Is six years inside sufficient punishment for someone who works in a abattoir?

I promise I'm not sitting here thinking eating meat is the same as animal cruelty, or that you aren't right to be extremely angry and upset and seriously considering your feelings... but it really is easy to blow things out of proportion.

You can’t be serious? There’s cognitive dissonance involved in eating meat/working in an abattoir. We’ve also been conditioned for centuries that this is acceptable behaviour.

I work in an animal rescue centre. Eating meat doesn’t legally have any punishment available as it isn’t a crime. Kicking a dog does. & yes actually, a 5 year prison sentence is the maximum sentence for animal cruelty in the UK.

You honestly can’t see the huge red flag in a man 1) having this short a temper & 2) treating a living being who he knows and loves and cares for this way?

It’s like comparing a solider killing the enemy during war time & that same soldier beating his wife. One us situationally acceptable the other is never acceptable.

OP, you’ve been posting about this abusive and dysfunctional relationship for at least two years now. Given your background of abuse I imagine you don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. I realise it can take years for victims of abuse to leave their relationships but I think that the least you should do for yourself is to get some form of counselling to deal with your early trauma, which may help you to see what your current situation is really like. You really need help with having the scales removed from your eyes.

Sorry but even reading that made me feel sick

The dog was obviously trying to get the food. If your husband didn't want him to have the food he should train the dog.

It's the two extra kicks that are really horrible and upsetting

I agree. No way back from that one for me.

@Thatsajokeright

I would absolutely leave DH if he did this to our dog.

An accidental kick as a reaction to being bitten is one thing. Purposely seeking the dog out to kick him twice more is quite another. Disgusting behaviour.

This

He hasn’t got a clue on how to treat dogs and is talking out of his (nasty) arse. He is not an animal lover. Nobody who claims to love animals would have that attitude and kick a dog.
I would be kicking him out.

Why are you posting about this? You know it’s cruel, wrong and abusive. You don’t need mumsnet to tell you that.

If you’re not willing to leave him, please at least protect your dog by rehoming him with a family where he won’t be beaten.

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.

so the actual kick was just a indicator of what he is like. One question, why are you still there?

He’s gaslighting and abusing you. Again.
All your posts are so upsetting to read. You husband does not love or care for you (or your dog). He’s a nasty, abusive bastard. You need to get away from him and get help and treatment for you. This is not going to stop.

Just read you're update, he sounds horrible. I would not trust a man that tried to diminish my own instincts and I would not trust a man who repeatedly kicks an animal

So from your update, he isn't now appalled of the way he behaved towards the dog. He thinks that kicking animals is an okay thing to do. You saw him do this this one time, how many times do you think he has done it previously, and how many times do you think he will be doing it in future when you aren't around (or even now when you are, as he has discovered he can get away with it)?

I once kicked my dog in a fit of temper. It wasn't hard and she wasn't hurt, but I was appalled with myself and it never, ever happened again. If he had reacted in that way, then I would maybe give him the benefit of the doubt, but he thinks that he did was okay. You are living with someone who abuses animals and you need to think what you want to do about that. First and foremost, you need to remove your dog from the situation so that the dog is not continuing to be abused. After that, you might want to think about if you want to be with someone who does this.