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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:
EmbarrassedAllOver · 20/02/2022 15:44

I can categorically tell you that other dog owners absolutely do not kick their dogs to train them.

Your partner is a bully.

Sexnotgender · 20/02/2022 15:47

Your husband is an appalling human.

My dog has bitten my husband a few times. He has NEVER kicked him.

I’m really not sure I could stay with him if he did. It’s a deal breaker. He can be as “in” to animal rights as he likes but he doesn’t live his values.

Sunnytwobridges · 20/02/2022 15:48

I just read some of your previous posts…your husband is an abuser of animals and of you. None of you are safe from him. You dealt with abuse in your past and I think it makes you minimize and more accepting of abusive behavior now. Get counseling and get away from that horrid husband of yours. This won’t get any better especially since he never thinks what he has done is “that bad”

fortunenookie · 20/02/2022 15:50

Your kids will be next
Just a matter of time

He’s technically and now legally abusing them already.
You need to stop this now he won’t.

ode2me · 20/02/2022 15:53

@Pancakeorcrepe

You are as bad as the abuser for allowing this to happen - it is clear from your other posts that he is an abusive wanker. Why subject innocent animals and your children to this? You really need to take action.
My mother was like this. Just allowed the abuse to go on and I absolutely despise her now and she will never know me or my child.

Someone who watches abuse and ignores it is even worse than the abuser imo. OP deserves what she gets for that but the children don't.

Norgie · 20/02/2022 15:56

I would be rehoming my DH! Absolutely no way will I tolerate animal abuse, and that's exactly what it was.
I despise bullies and that's exactly what he is.

rambleonplease · 20/02/2022 15:57

@ode2me Someone who watches abuse and ignores it is even worse than the abuser imo.

That's a bit harsh? Maybe just as bad as, but not worse.

Bluetitsfly · 20/02/2022 16:14

Goodbye husband ~wanker~

IsItTooHotInHere · 20/02/2022 16:18

Your husband is a cunt. That's all. If it were me, he'd be out the door, the bastard.

RockpoolGirl · 20/02/2022 16:31

OP I want you to really hear this:

I am a survivor of the kind of home you’re living in. My stepdad would kick the cats and dogs and my mum would make excuses for him. He was also abusive to me for 14 years. I am unable to forgive her for sticking by such a bastard and I have nothing to do with her now, much to her despair.

You know what the tipping point was for me?

Her deciding to get a new dog a few years ago. I immediately started to get flashbacks to our pets being abused when I was younger and how she didn’t care enough to help them. I was so disgusted by how she could have let that pass and make them suffer for years by her inaction that I couldn’t bear to be around her anymore.

However your husband treats you is one thing but if you put others through his cruelty and abuse and fail to protect them then that makes you as bad as him.

AnotherForumUser · 20/02/2022 16:31

@IsItTooHotInHere

Your husband is a cunt. That's all. If it were me, he'd be out the door, the bastard.
Totally agree. I'm not sure I'd even do him the courtesy of opening the door before I kicked him through it. But through it he would be.
StaplesCorner · 20/02/2022 16:47

Haven't you posted about this before? For years in fact? That he's abusive to you too? For me this would be the final straw and if you've been looking for a way out, this is it. Have you had support from Women's Aid or anything like that?

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2022 16:50

@Reviewer123456

Perhaps you should show him this thread and he might see what people think of disgusting creatures like him. My god I am fuming!
As he's abusive that's not really the best plan.
QueenSue · 20/02/2022 17:26

I don't know if you're still reading, OP, but please protect your children and your dog from this man.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 20/02/2022 17:41

He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time

Fucking hell. What an utter, utter shit your husband is.

Please get the dog to the vet and tell them he's been kicked. He could have internal injuries.

You do realise it could be you or the kids next?

If you're foolish enough to stay with this bastard, please please rehome your dog once the vet has checked it over.

FlowerArranger · 20/02/2022 17:41

@Chickencuddle - these responses must be hard to read, especially those suggesting that you are as bad as your husband for 'allowing' this abuse to happen and 'not protecting your children' from witnessing it. Please bear in mind that most of these posters do not know your backstory.

You have become 'institutionalised' to abuse. It's all you know. You feel powerless and you are scared. But can you please get back in touch with your contact at Women's Aid and see if they can reactivate the offer of a place at a refuge? And this time actually leave - for the sake of your children...Flowers

StarbucksSmarterSister · 20/02/2022 17:43

told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad

What utter bullshit.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 20/02/2022 17:57

You do realise it could be you or the kids next?

I've now seen a couple of your previous posts and he's already started on you hasn't he?

Please leave him. He is a danger to all of you and you deserve so much better.

Museumland · 20/02/2022 18:10

A friend's dog bit my foot once..he pierced my skin 8 times (I had it checked in A&E), just one bite, I screamed. I didn't kick him. Going up to a dog, your family pet and deliberately kicking it is just disgusting. Get rid of your husband.

Yants · 20/02/2022 18:16

For him to do that there's no way he is or ever has been an "animal lover"... he's a psychopath and like all psychopaths he's just a good actor until he snaps and you get to see his true character as you have now done.

myothercarisaskoda · 20/02/2022 19:00

OP isn't going to listen to us sadly.

Original poster
Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 19:11

I'm reading when I can but I'm around him and not getting chance to reply properly I will when I can.
Thanks for everyone commenting I realise everyone is commenting with good intentions.

OP posts:
KidneyBeans · 20/02/2022 19:20

What are his reasons for being vegan?
I assume it animal welfare-related as his a proponent of physically punishing those more vulnerable than him?

Does he believe dogs learn in a special way different to other animals? Or is he trying to use outdated 'dominance theory' from the 1940s to justify his behaviour?
Science has moved on somewhat. Confused

Does he believe investing children too? If not why not? learning theory is pretty universal

ChurchlightJane · 20/02/2022 19:25

Tapping, smacking or hitting a dog on its nose is incredibly cruel and the worst way to train. As for kicking. I have no words for that.
He lost control and he will hurt your dog again. A line has been crossed.

RockpoolGirl · 20/02/2022 19:36

please think about how your poor dog feels. Since reading your post I’ve been having awful flashbacks to my own childhood pets being kicked and smacked. One got a broken leg and another died soon after being kicked across the stomach. Don’t let it happen to your dog or you’ll never forgive yourself.

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