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Original poster

Husband kicked dog

326 replies

Chickencuddle · 20/02/2022 09:26

My dog had some food my husband didn't want him to have so he kicked it away from the dog and the dog bit his toe. It all happened so fast I don't know if the dog meant to bite him or was trying to get the food. But my husband got very angry kept saying angrily " he f*cking bit me" and kicked the dog around 3 times so it wasn't just a reactive kick if that makes sense. He kicked him the first time.. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.
He is normally such an animal lover so I was shocked and I told him not to kick him.
He just kept saying "well he bit my fucking toe" I asked to see his toe and his toe wasn't even red. I don't know what to say.
In my head I feel appalled I know I would never do that ever. But I know I can overthink and react. The dog isn't hurt didn't whimper or anything but was obviously not liking it and backing away.

OP posts:
madroid · 20/02/2022 12:17

OP leave this man. Take the children. Take the dog.

It's not that simple in reality. It can take a long time to get into the position where you can leav. Financially and emotionally.

@Chickencuddle if your DH is a bully read up on emotional abuse. Start there and then plan.

TurquoiseDragon · 20/02/2022 12:17

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.
This is him justifying violence. Sooner or later, he'll turn on you, if he hasn't already (going by comments from some posters).

Get rid of your DH, you and your dog deserve better.

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2022 12:19

@Chickencuddle

The only reason I mentioned him being vegan is because the other poster was comparing it to eating meat etc. So I was letting her know that he actually is vegan... So nothing ti do with eating meat etc... I was in no way excusing his actions. Or defending him.
This isn't the most important part.

What are you going to do? What do you want to do?

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 12:19

@GeneLovesJezebel

Poor dog.
Poor kids more like
Jonny1265 · 20/02/2022 12:20

No excuse for this abusive behaviour. The fact that he angered so quickly would also make me worry if he would become violent to people too.

elisenbrunnen · 20/02/2022 12:21

OK so he abuses you - and you stay.

He abuses the dog - and you stay.

What next? The kids? If he hasn't already started to abuse them, he will be on to that next.

That's how it goes, OP. Unless you kick him out. Where is YOUR line?

haikyew · 20/02/2022 12:22

Can't forgive myself
For not leaving then & there
When he hurt the dog

Sad
WouldIwasShookspeared · 20/02/2022 12:23

So he's a vegan, animal abusing sexual predator.

I hope you choose to leave him.

ScrollingLeaves · 20/02/2022 12:23

So he is saying he missed when the dog had just ‘bitten him’, went after the dog, kicked and missed again ( presumably) because then he had to get in the third kick, the one that finally got the target.

It doesn’t sound right somehow, and seems to be minimising his ‘rage’ reaction. Don’t believe him about how this is how you train dogs!

It was not the dog’s fault there was food on the floor. As you say the dog may have been actually trying to bite the food. Or the dog might have been ‘defending’ the food. It doesn’t sound as though it but very hard. The dog backed away then he had to walk towards the dog and kicked him twice more.

To train a dog not to take food there is a set way with praise and food rewards. If the dog is ‘guarding and defending’ food it could also be trained - and should be. Your husband’s aggression only teaches the dog fear or aggression neither of which are good.

I reckon your DH does have rage lurking in him (childhood attacks on him or that he witnessed?). This is a problem as you never know when it will erupt, and it usually only does erupt with someone weaker.

Because he hasn’t properly owned up to it, how can he try to do something about it?

Ramalamadingdongs · 20/02/2022 12:26

Normal people would train their dog. Not hit and kick it.

Ivegottagoforaliedown · 20/02/2022 12:27

Hope you can get the strength to leave him OP. You, your kids and your dog deserve better. Ps. Dogs trust can take in dogs temporarily in domestic abuse situations, when the abused person is going into a refuge or temporary accommodation x

ScrollingLeaves · 20/02/2022 12:29

OK, I have just seen some other posts about your relationship with this man.

He is abusive. He was lying about the dog kicks.

The dog backed away - has he hurt it before ? Probably.

If you go to a refuge but can’t take the dog it could be fostered as there are organisations to help with this.

MRS54321 · 20/02/2022 12:32

This would make me vomit.
Him trying to justify it saying he missed the first time is wild!
My cats are underfoot 24/7 and often get a gentle “punt/scoop” with the arch of my foot so they don’t break my neck ,out of the road.
The fact that’s he’s clearly lost control would make me worry.
If you stay, I’d suggest you insist he sees his GP or a therapist.
If my DH did this I’d be worried to leave him with my child

WonderfulYou · 20/02/2022 12:34

OP I know you are a victim and it’s not your fault but you are making your children and pets victims too which is so unfair.

You have every single poster saying you need to leave him.

You’re an intelligent woman as you know what he’s doing is wrong which is why you keep starting threads.

So what is the reason you haven’t left him yet?
Is it financial?
Afraid to be alone?
Scared he’ll hurt you?
He has brainwashed you to think you can’t cope without him but I promise you you can!

I promise you we can help you leave by recommending services etc but you need to want to leave.

There is an organisation called the freedom project which will foster your dog until you get back on your feet.
There is also women’s aid.

If you want to tell us what area you’re in then posters may be able to help you with other organisations.

You are not alone. We are here to help you.

Californiansunsets · 20/02/2022 12:34

@Chickencuddle

I just spoke to him about it and I said I can understand a reactive kick but you went back and did it twice more. He said he went back because he missed the dog the first time. He said he only actually kicked him once. He said if a dog does something bad you either tap them on the nose or give them a kick it wasnt ha really hard kick. I felt it was aggressive but he said it was a tap. He just makes me feel like I'm overreacting and told me that if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad. I told him it was just because he wanted to eat it and it doesn't matter what other people do I would never kick him. He asked me what I would do and I said I'd step my foot away and raise my voice to the dog. He just laughed at me.
Have you got any kids? If the kids do something bad does he kick them? If you do something bad does he kick you? Seriously, this is ridiculous, and would totally change my view of him.

You are definitely NOT overreacting.

Jtb5790 · 20/02/2022 12:37

Sorry but no. It'll be people next...

BoredZelda · 20/02/2022 12:43

He is actually vegan and very into animal rights etc

😆

Obviously he isn’t.

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 12:53

@elisenbrunnen

OK so he abuses you - and you stay.

He abuses the dog - and you stay.

What next? The kids? If he hasn't already started to abuse them, he will be on to that next.

That's how it goes, OP. Unless you kick him out. Where is YOUR line?

He was behaving sexually o front of them two years ago

So yes he’s abusing them

fuckoffImcounting · 20/02/2022 12:56

He is a piece of shit.
My last German Shepherd broke my arm - I heard it snap. I did not kick her - I might have said a bad word.

OMGItsEarly · 20/02/2022 13:04

if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad

We really don’t.

PinkSyCo · 20/02/2022 13:05

My 20 month grandson has accidentally/ non maliciously bitten me 2 or 3 times over the past year. By your husband’s standards I guess I owe him 6-9 kicks then. Sad

Toanewstart23 · 20/02/2022 13:09

The op won’t be back
She disappeared off a thread she started about going to a refuge two years ago
And the same has happened here

liveforsummer · 20/02/2022 13:10

@OMGItsEarly

if people have dogs they do the same type of things if the dog is bad

We really don’t.

Yes, fwiw I've never tapped my dog on the nose. It's not a suitable correction for a dog. If he requires the dog to be immediately obedient he should teach a drop or leave it command; not kick the poor thing after the fact nor smack its nose
Radiohat · 20/02/2022 13:14

Is there anything about your husband that is good ?
In previous posts you have said he sexualy abuses you........what qualities do you find attractive?
He sounds like a complete AO ......

whenthedoveslie · 20/02/2022 13:19

OP, what are you seeking by posting?

I also looked up your previous posts.

He is abusive in many ways.