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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child’s photo edited.

162 replies

Mom201 · 19/02/2022 21:22

Hi all.

Just want advice on if I am being over sensitive.

My DD was born nearly 3 years ago. She is the only Great Grandchild my Grandma met before she sadly died (RIP). She was the apple of her eye and a typical loving Grandma.

My sister had her son not long after my Grandma died.

My issue here is a photo. It happens it be my favourite photo - the first time Great Grandma met my DD. It has been taken without my permission, shared to a stranger and edited. Edited that my DD was removed and a photo of my DN inserted. This was then given as a present to my sister and I found out from good old social media (another whole issue with our families). I would like to add it was a family friend that did this - possibly in with another sisters input.

Not at any time was I asked or considered with this, even with the finding out.

Am I being too sensitive to the photo? The scenario? The disrespect? The sharing it with a stranger?
I don’t know if I am angry or sad about it. It’s a lovely photo but it’s the lead up to it. I don’t know where that photo has been sent too and such a precious memory to me has been taken and used.

OP posts:
StarsAndSugarlumps · 19/02/2022 21:46

How did they get hold of the photo?

2YearsOfWastedTime · 19/02/2022 21:46

This service is very widely used
Its a huge thing and people pay good money for it

Georgeskitchen · 19/02/2022 21:49

I would be furious if someone did that. I find it quite weird that people edit pictures of new babies into pictures of deceased relatives. Not to my taste at all

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 19/02/2022 21:49

This is quite disturbing.

Fridafever · 19/02/2022 21:55

Could you send me a copy of your wedding photo as I've gone off my dress so if I could photoshop my face on to your wedding photo then I could put it on my mantle. Give me something nice to look at.

Also, have you got any of your baby just after he was born as my baby looks awful in mine so if I could photoshop you out and put me in with your baby that would be fantastic!

I’d think you were a bit nuts and wouldn’t understand why you wanted to but it wouldn’t upset me at all. If you were my sister and it made you feel better I’d let you crack on.

saraclara · 19/02/2022 21:56

I find it very weird and disturbing. I really dislike these 'false truth' photos.

But on the other hand, you had the good fortune to have your great-grandma know your child. DSis didn't. So I would try not to be resentful. It hasn't taken away from your photo.

What does your sister feel about the photo?

BearOfEasttown · 19/02/2022 21:56

OMG that's as weird as fuck! Bizarre and freakish. Shock

Who he F is voting YABU? Shock Who thinks this is normal? It's weird!!!

YANBU @Mom201

FawnFrenchieMum · 19/02/2022 21:56

I like to edit photos as a bit of a hobby, there are lots of Facebook groups for it. Both paid services and free. There are requests like this on a daily basis, so not as weird as people on here seem to think.
It’s not my thing, I don’t really understand why you would want to make something appear real that didn’t (and couldn’t have) happened.
I can see why your a bit upset, but I wouldn’t mention it, you have both the original photo and most importantly the memory.

BearOfEasttown · 19/02/2022 21:57

@QuillBill Grin

Thefaceofboe · 19/02/2022 21:58

I’d find that strange. It would have been nicer to add your nephew into the photo with your DD in it too.

Porcupineintherough · 19/02/2022 22:00

Well it's weird but I can't say it would bother me. It's not disrespectful to your grandmother, I'm sure she'd liked to have met him. And you have the real memories.

curlii103 · 19/02/2022 22:01

Its not for me but i wouldnt be upset i dont think theyve tried to annoy you but your sister is obviously sad your grandma didnt meet her baby.

LorelaiDeservedBetter · 19/02/2022 22:04

I think these types of edits are a bit ghoulish tbh but there is a trend for them.
It wouldn't upset me because the whole concept is so bizarre that I wouldn't feel I had lost anything. They have an oddly doctored photo. It's not something I would want.
It's not about your child. It's about them.

Ilostit · 19/02/2022 22:09

How strange my father passed away young and there is a photo of him holding my cousin as a baby. I can’t imagine editing out my cousin and adding one of my kids! They were born a long time after he died!

TheresaApril · 19/02/2022 22:09

Wow that's a bit disturbing Hmm

Saitama · 19/02/2022 22:11

That’s very odd, I’m a photographer/editor and would edit the person who passed away into a photo, not take someone else out of one!

TheresaApril · 19/02/2022 22:12

Does your sis always want what you have?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 19/02/2022 22:14

Jesus.

It was obviously done with the best intentions but nope. Way too fucking weird for me.

Figgygal · 19/02/2022 22:14

That's just really weird

Cam2020 · 19/02/2022 22:16

Bloody weird.

cuno · 19/02/2022 22:16

@Fridafever

Could you send me a copy of your wedding photo as I've gone off my dress so if I could photoshop my face on to your wedding photo then I could put it on my mantle. Give me something nice to look at.

Also, have you got any of your baby just after he was born as my baby looks awful in mine so if I could photoshop you out and put me in with your baby that would be fantastic!

I’d think you were a bit nuts and wouldn’t understand why you wanted to but it wouldn’t upset me at all. If you were my sister and it made you feel better I’d let you crack on.

Honestly, it sounds like you need to work on your boundaries if you would let your sister crack on in this instances.
Lowhum · 19/02/2022 22:16

I kind of understand why they did it, but it’s really bloody weird!

AskingforaBaskin · 19/02/2022 22:17

@QuillBill not the same at all. We are strangers. This is the recipients relative and child.

Eucalyptusbee · 19/02/2022 22:18

This is just really weird

WonderfulYou · 19/02/2022 22:18

YABU
This isn’t about your DD.

I assume your great grandmother looked nice in the photo and the person didn’t have many photos of her so they used the best one they had.

I think it’s odd that they would fake a photo but if she likes it then I’d let it go.
my gran had a painting done of my late grandad and her dog that died meeting him in heaven - it was so lovely but completely fake obviously so I can only suspect it’s similar to that.