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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To of used my clients loo?

287 replies

Cleaninglady47 · 19/02/2022 12:42

Name changed because this is probably quite outing and I don’t want it linked to my previous posts!
So I’m a cleaner, yesterday I was at a new-ish clients house, she’s got a big home so she’s booked me for 3 hours each time, just before I cleaned her bathrooms I said “oh do you mind if I quickly use your loo before I clean” and she said “hmmm this once but don’t make a habit of it, it’s not very professional”. I did go, because I was desperate but I feel mortified, upset and embarrassed. It’s never even occurred to me that this would be considered unprofessional?! The lady who does my hair, and the one who does my nails comes to my house and they use my loo and I’ve never given it a second thought?!
I ALWAYS use the toilet before I leave my house in the mornings to try and avoid needing to go at clients homes but sometimes I can do 2 cleans before I have my lunch break (4-5 hours plus travel time) and if I’m drinking water to keep my hydrated it’s inevitable I will need the toilet at some point. I know I’m a grown adult and I should of held it and should be able to control my bladder (which I can) but I was desperate and holding it would of made me uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable?! I’m not sure, does anyone have any tips to avoid a situation like this in the future?

YABU - of course you shouldn’t use your clients toilets!
YANBU - you can’t help needing the loo and should be able to go at a clients house if you really need

OP posts:
Tootsey11 · 19/02/2022 14:02

@JuliaSways cleaner here. Just to say you are spot on with your list. A client usually let's you see their true colours pretty early on. I have had some horrible horrible people as clients, and ditched them all.

JustLyra · 19/02/2022 14:03

@Cleaninglady47

Thank you everyone for your kind replies, I feel much more at ease now knowing that I wasn’t in the wrong. I’ve only cleaned for her 3 weeks and I do have a small waiting list so I’ve decided I won’t be going back. I’ve just drafted this message to her, does everyone think this is ok?

Hi Barbara (not real name) unfortunately I will no longer be able to clean your home, I don’t feel like we are a good fit for each other and possibly you have different expectations to myself to what you want in a cleaner? I must say, your comment about me using your loo made me feel like a naughty 5 year old and has baffled me a bit as I’m only human with a normal working bladder. I wish you all the best and hope you find a new cleaner who is a much better fit for you. Many thanks, cleaninglady47

I would cut that down massively and not reference the bathroom bit.

Just that you do not feel you're a good fit for each other and you wish her well.

girlmom21 · 19/02/2022 14:04

@JustLyra I'd mention the bathroom bit so she doesn't act like a prick to the next cleaner. They might not just be able to quit and replace the client.

NoWordForFluffy · 19/02/2022 14:04

@Hospedia

Next time just use it while you're in there cleaning and don't bother asking, who would know?
This is what I was going to say. Just include it during the cleaning process.

I assume she isn't following you round, watching you work (because that would be really weird and a hint to ditch her as a client!)?

Youkilledmyfatherpreparetodie · 19/02/2022 14:05

@AnotherSillawithanS

Honestly, I think YABU for not having done a massive shit.
GrinGrinGrinGrin
DaveGrohl · 19/02/2022 14:06

Well done for dumping this client and moving on to your waiting list. If she is this unpleasant and unreasonable about using the loo it didn’t bode well for the future.

Lipsandlashes · 19/02/2022 14:07

She is a snobby bastard and if I were you I wouldn’t go back there again. People are crying out for cleaners so just give her the big E.
As a bare minimum I would expect toilet access at work and so should you.

JustLyra · 19/02/2022 14:07

[quote girlmom21]@JustLyra I'd mention the bathroom bit so she doesn't act like a prick to the next cleaner. They might not just be able to quit and replace the client. [/quote]
I wouldn't because she's shown who she is - far better for other people to see who she is right away rather than her hide it for a while until they begin to rely on her work/turn down others for that space.

GreyGoose1980 · 19/02/2022 14:08

Sorry OP didn’t read the full thread before posting! Just seen your message to her. Well done!

Seraphinesupport · 19/02/2022 14:08

seeing as you cant have a break during work as a cleaner then yes she is being unreasonable. Its your workplace.. you should be able to use the loo as much as needed

Original poster
Cleaninglady47 · 19/02/2022 14:09

She replied to my message and just said ‘ok.’ And I’ve blocked her number now so she can’t communicate with me any further. Thank you so much you lovely lot for reassuring me, I feel much much better than I did last night/this morn! I’m changing my username back to my original one now as I’m commenting on another thread and want to continue doing so under my usual username that I’ve used for years so I won’t be back commenting on this thread but I’ve read all of your replies and really really appreciate every single one :)

OP posts:
NarrowboatDi · 19/02/2022 14:09

@JuliaSways

your list is spot on. I also had a client who would invite her friends round for lunch or wine at the exact time I was cleaning then say “ignore the cleaner”. Made me feel like shit. Let her do it three times before I came to my senses and popped the key through the door ten mins after the money hit my account with a note telling her I had never felt so demeaned in my life.

Her husband, who was lovely, came round with flowers and apologies, begging me to return but I stuck to my guns.

@Cleaninglady47 good for you letting her go. I know you will find a lovely new client in no time.

RampantIvy · 19/02/2022 14:09

The OP is not a stranger to her bonkers client and even if she was, she's no more likely to 'leave it fucking stinking' than a member of your immediate family. In fact, with the OP being the cleaner, she's pretty much guaranteed to leave it in a better state than when she found it.

Perhaps you are the client @ParalysisByAnalysis. You don't refuse someone using their toilet, but you make sure that they know that you'd rather they didn't. Are you one of those batshit Mumsnetters who think that people should only ever use the toilet in their own home?

As usual I agree with you @BarbaraofSeville. I did wonder if the OP’s client was one of those weird mumsnetters who think that other people can just go all day without needing the loo.

rc22 · 19/02/2022 14:10

Employers have to provide employees with a toilet to use. She's a stupid, snotty woman.

Slumcat · 19/02/2022 14:10

Funny enough our cleaner asked if she could use our loo yesterday- I was more surprised that she asked tbh as I just assumed if she needed to go at our house she’d go- your client sounds awful

hellithurt · 19/02/2022 14:11

Bloody good for you sacking her off!!

hellithurt · 19/02/2022 14:12

[quote NarrowboatDi]@JuliaSways

your list is spot on. I also had a client who would invite her friends round for lunch or wine at the exact time I was cleaning then say “ignore the cleaner”. Made me feel like shit. Let her do it three times before I came to my senses and popped the key through the door ten mins after the money hit my account with a note telling her I had never felt so demeaned in my life.

Her husband, who was lovely, came round with flowers and apologies, begging me to return but I stuck to my guns.

@Cleaninglady47 good for you letting her go. I know you will find a lovely new client in no time.[/quote]
Bloody good for you too! Nasty piece of work she was!

Hshuznw · 19/02/2022 14:12

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itsgettingweird · 19/02/2022 14:13

Yanbu.

I'd have said "of course - no need to ask ever!".

If someone's in my house I'd expect them to use the conveniences if required for their convenience!

Ilostit · 19/02/2022 14:14

Get out of that house I would say!

Totalwasteofpaper · 19/02/2022 14:15

Good for you!!!

Also Flowers
Really strange and somewhat unpleasant(?) behaviour on her part.

The "okay" was only because she probably felt awkward at you "naming" her bad behaviour.
Don't think twice about it

HogDogKetchup · 19/02/2022 14:20

I’m so shocked to read this! Anybody visiting my home is welcome to use the loo irrespective of whether or not they’re paid to be there! I wouldn’t expect my cleaner to ask - she can help herself and same goes for drinks etc.

oakleaffy · 19/02/2022 14:21

@Cleaninglady47
You asked!
You could have just had a quick wee and she’d have been none the wiser.

Women tend not to take skiddy dumps either.
You are a cleaner for goodness sakes!
You’ll leave her bog immaculate!

HogDogKetchup · 19/02/2022 14:22

I’ve read your update OP - well done and good choice. You deserve to be treated with respect, not least when at work.

ChaToilLeam · 19/02/2022 14:23

Good on you for dumping her. What a snooty cow! If you know other cleaners in the area, be sure to tell them. She doesn’t deserve to have one.