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Original poster

Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

957 replies

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:29

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

OP posts:
thefamous5 · 20/02/2022 09:18

Trashy and skanky for feeding a tiny baby. Get a bloody grip.

These type of 'weddings'. You mean, a lovely family orientated wedding.

Some of us like children and don't expect them to be palmed off on strangers.

You cannot compare a family wedding to a bank manager meeting. I'd have taken my youngest to a bank manager meeting as well.

LadyPropane · 20/02/2022 09:21

Imagine posting on a parenting forum that breastfeeding your baby during your own wedding is"trashy and skanky"

Confused
Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:22

@thefamous5

Trashy and skanky for feeding a tiny baby. Get a bloody grip.

These type of 'weddings'. You mean, a lovely family orientated wedding.

Some of us like children and don't expect them to be palmed off on strangers.

You cannot compare a family wedding to a bank manager meeting. I'd have taken my youngest to a bank manager meeting as well.

You couldn't have fed the baby before? You don't stand there feeding a baby while saying vows at a ceremony! Wow....

Sorry to break it to you but you can't take babies into bank managers or solicitors meetings. You will have to organise a babysitter. It's called being an adult. It seems you have a lot to learn about how to navigate society.

Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:23

@LadyPropane

Imagine posting on a parenting forum that breastfeeding your baby during your own wedding is"trashy and skanky"

Confused

You really think it's normal to get to the formal part of the ceremony and you're breastfeeding? Seriously? Please, please tell me you are joking! @LadyPropane
OnlyAFleshWound · 20/02/2022 09:24

@LadyPropane

Imagine posting on a parenting forum that breastfeeding your baby during your own wedding is"trashy and skanky"

Confused

and the memtion of it is going to make you vomit Confused

Very, very strange.

LadyPropane · 20/02/2022 09:24

I certainly don't think it's "trashy and skanky".

What a weird comment to make. Says an awful lot about you and how you view the mother/baby relationship.

thefamous5 · 20/02/2022 09:27

Funny that because when I was getting a business loan I took my baby into a meeting with a bank manager.

And yes, I fed him before but funnily enough small babies feed often. They also feed for comfort. I mean, I could have let him scream and then not said my vows but you'd have a problem with that as well I imagine.

The registrar didn't care, she thought it was lovely. My guests didn't care. My husband and I didn't care.

Weirdly enough, I'm a fully grown adult, with (beautifully behaved) children, a former high school teacher & a successful business owner. I think I'm pretty ok thanks. I just like and care about kids.

Twizbe · 20/02/2022 09:27

@Migrainesbythedozen hold onto your hat luv - I had to take my newborn son to court with me when giving evidence! I even breastfed him in the waiting room for the court.

Hold it even more now - I took my newborn daughter to my cousins wedding (children were invited) I'd attempted to time her feeds around the ceremony time. Except my cousin had given a different time on the invites so people wouldn't be late. I had to feed her during their vows too.

bravefox · 20/02/2022 09:28

@Migrainesbythedozen there was a thread the other day about a cleaner who was told she was 'deeply unprofessional' for asking to use her client's loo during a lengthy clean. Very keen to hear your thoughts on this!

YoBeaches · 20/02/2022 09:29

I think it's pretty shitty to say the BM can go but not them or even bring someone else... he's presumably the grooms best mate after all.

Mums aren't stupid ... baby starts making noise she'll leave the room or go outside.

I wouldn't exclude them, I think that's really crap 'friending' considering it's the best man and his family.

Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:29

@LadyPropane

I certainly don't think it's "trashy and skanky".

What a weird comment to make. Says an awful lot about you and how you view the mother/baby relationship.

So you're at a solemn ceremony and you are not only disorganised but you put baby on breast while exchanging vows, as if you rushed in from bed and you don't think that is vulgar and low class? Seriously? Is that how little the ceremony means to people these days? You just casually say some words while baby is on tit? Wtf am I reading.... No one wonder marriages don't last long these days if that is how little respect someone has. It's like there really is no morals or standards or class these days.
Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:31

#hiding thread.

Twizbe · 20/02/2022 09:31

@Migrainesbythedozen I don't see the connection between breastfeeding your child and not respecting your marriage.

Breastfeeding is natural and how humans and all mammals are designed to feed their babies. Baby has no idea what a wedding is or that it is at one. If it wants milk, it wants milk.

Twizbe · 20/02/2022 09:32

@Migrainesbythedozen

#hiding thread.
#realisedyourewrong
Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:34

@YoBeaches

I think it's pretty shitty to say the BM can go but not them or even bring someone else... he's presumably the grooms best mate after all.

Mums aren't stupid ... baby starts making noise she'll leave the room or go outside.

I wouldn't exclude them, I think that's really crap 'friending' considering it's the best man and his family.

Before I go @YoBeaches Read the full thread. There have been many people, on this thread alone, that have said a screaming baby drowned out the vows numerous times and the mother didn't make any attempt to take the baby outside. One poster above said one woman stood in the middle of the isle jiggling the baby whilst it was screaming, instead of taking it outside. The sheer large amount of times the vows/ceremonies are ruined by screaming babies is evidence that newborns are too much trouble.
EliyanahM · 20/02/2022 09:34

Of course baby comes. They don't even make noise once their mouth is full of a bottle/breast and the rest of the time they are asleep. These people having a wedding sound very cruel.

TolkiensFallow · 20/02/2022 09:34

@Migrainesbythedozen I have read the thread love. I just don’t agree with you.

It’s ever so easy to understand though. It’s called being considerate. Newborns sleep a lot, it probably won’t cry and if it does the mum can just leave. Very easy to understand. She will be considerate of the couple and they can be considerate of her given that her husband is clearly so important to them.

I dread to think what circles you mix in if you have encountered so many inconsiderate people who would not do this.

Whatinthelord · 20/02/2022 09:35

“trashy and skanky is the only thing that comes to mind and confirms my idea of these type of, 'weddings'. “

I completely understand that some people prefer child free weddings or associate weddings with adult only spaces/events and I think it’s fine for people to make that choice.

However writing off weddings with lots of children as “trashy and skanky” says an awful lot about you and makes you come across as a snob who is incapable of seeing beyond her own, very small, perspective.

Clearly how families celebrate events like weddings is partly based on their culture. For a lot of people weddings = everyone in the family/children attending too. Nothing trashy about that….it’s just different from your experience of weddings.

Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:36

[quote TolkiensFallow]@Migrainesbythedozen I have read the thread love. I just don’t agree with you.

It’s ever so easy to understand though. It’s called being considerate. Newborns sleep a lot, it probably won’t cry and if it does the mum can just leave. Very easy to understand. She will be considerate of the couple and they can be considerate of her given that her husband is clearly so important to them.

I dread to think what circles you mix in if you have encountered so many inconsiderate people who would not do this.[/quote]
If you had read the thread @TolkiensFallow you would see too many are NOT considerate and leave. Did you not read those examples? That the mothers DON'T leave? Did you not read that? It's not just me, it is many, many people on this thread!

inheritancetrack · 20/02/2022 09:38

No.

LadyPropane · 20/02/2022 09:38

Who the hell pisses about organising childcare just because they're meeting with a bank manager? I always take my baby and toddler to any bank meetings.

If it was a job interview for the bank then yeah, of course I'd get a babysitter, but otherwise I really don't understand why you would bother.

Migrainesbythedozen · 20/02/2022 09:38

@Whatinthelord

“trashy and skanky is the only thing that comes to mind and confirms my idea of these type of, 'weddings'. “

I completely understand that some people prefer child free weddings or associate weddings with adult only spaces/events and I think it’s fine for people to make that choice.

However writing off weddings with lots of children as “trashy and skanky” says an awful lot about you and makes you come across as a snob who is incapable of seeing beyond her own, very small, perspective.

Clearly how families celebrate events like weddings is partly based on their culture. For a lot of people weddings = everyone in the family/children attending too. Nothing trashy about that….it’s just different from your experience of weddings.

@Whatinthelord I didn't say weddings with lots of children are trashy and skanky. I said being so disheveled and casually exchanging vows while you've got a baby on your tit is trashy and skanky. I'm out.
Twizbe · 20/02/2022 09:39

I don't understand how breastfeeding = dishevelled.

I personally was fully made up in a smart dress while breastfeeding during my cousin's vows. I'd not just rolled out of bed lol

thefamous5 · 20/02/2022 09:41

@Migrainesbythedozen

You're a fucking snob.

My feeding my son has no impact on my marriage.

thefamous5 · 20/02/2022 09:42

@Migrainesbythedozen

Also hilarious that someone is going on about class and morals while calling someone choice to feed a baby skanky.

Only one skank here, 'love', and it ain't me...