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Original poster

Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

957 replies

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:29

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

OP posts:
gnurse85 · 19/02/2022 20:23

That makes sense too but there also needs to be some kind of empathy for a couple with a newborn. A) they may not feel ready to leave their baby with anyone B) she may breastfeed C) if they don’t want to bring their newborn they may have no one to mind the baby. Not tarnishing everyone but some childless people would not see the bigger picture including myself pre children. I now completely get it. If they are lucky enough to have kids in the future they may realise in time that it was a bit out of order too and regret being so harsh especially the “ leave the mum n baby “ situation 😬😬

bellabasset · 19/02/2022 20:26

My cousin's new SIL didn't attend her wedding with month old twins. She arrived with them just after the meal and her PIL's were on hand to take care of them while she had a meal with her dh who'd been best man. They'd all come down for a few days to attend the wedding and she said she'd had been able to catch up on some sleep.

Grida · 19/02/2022 20:26

Yes

Hankunamatata · 19/02/2022 20:27

If the wedding is quite far away surely it would be easier for the best man to attend on his own rather than trying to spilt himself between wedding duties and his partner and newborn.

GinnyBee · 19/02/2022 20:35

I had a 'no kids' wedding, but only to the extent that we were not providing any accommodations for children, and all guests were informed of this. Most chose to leave their kids at home and were glad to have some adult time, but we had a few babies and I saw no problem with it. In my opinion 'child free' events only apply to kids old enough to be somewhat hard work to supervise and entertain, not babes in arms.

ChristinaXYZ · 19/02/2022 20:37

@questionofthedaywedding

They're happy for him to attend, but don't want the baby there.
Completely unreasonable. You can't expect them to leave such a new baby. Even if you did as a guest you might just attend the service but not stay for the rest (we did that when DC was 9 months, much older than your example). But a best man cannot do that. If I was a best man/senior bridesmaid to some one and they did that to me it would be the end of the friendship.
Mandyjack · 19/02/2022 20:41

It might pee off other people who couldnt bring their kids. Have you spoke to him to see how he feels about it? Some parents enjoy having a break from their kids so a child free night out might be welcome. I'd say broach the subject with him

Dragonsmother · 19/02/2022 20:41

The BM needs to ditch this “friend” what a mean position to put them in.
The groom and bride to be need to give their heads a wobble.

C152 · 19/02/2022 20:49

No.

TheHumanSatsuma · 19/02/2022 20:50

@Dragonsmother

The BM needs to ditch this “friend” what a mean position to put them in. The groom and bride to be need to give their heads a wobble.
This, absolutely!
LorelaiDeservedBetter · 19/02/2022 20:51

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

That's hilarious. Do they hate the BM's wife? Or is the BM trying to wangle a weekend away without a newborn?
Bookloverjay · 19/02/2022 21:00

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

WOW!! Just take someone else!! Like wife and baby are interchangeable. The bride and groom can't think that much of the BM and his family.

Yeah I understand why they wouldn't want kids at the wedding, the kids might be running around making too much noise but a baby? A newborn baby

Personally I used to dread getting invites for weddings as i found it very stressful taking my kids as..... well they're kids and didn't want to sit still or be quite. Thankfully the invites was few and far between.

headintheproverbial · 19/02/2022 21:02

We allowed babes in arms. For such an important person without hesitation the baby should come.

Cat250571 · 19/02/2022 21:04

Yes, I think this is very harsh. If you had children you would completely understand x

Hftb · 19/02/2022 21:13

I wouldn’t expect anyone to leave a baby that young. I’d be happy for the baby to come if they’re happy to bring the baby.

annlee3817 · 19/02/2022 21:16

We had a no kids wedding, three friends had newborns including one of the best men, I would never have said no to babies, completely different

user47000000000 · 19/02/2022 21:16

annlee
Thank you for speaking sense!!!!

annlee3817 · 19/02/2022 21:17

I was MOH for my best friend when my DD was 6 weeks old and my husband just took her straight out of the ceremony when she started crying, had some expressed milk until I could feed her after.

AlbertaAnnie · 19/02/2022 21:25

Yes I would absolutely allow a newborn even at a kid free wedding. Fair enough to say no to older kids / toddlers but newborns are a different story

SolidGoldBrassiere · 19/02/2022 21:26

@questionofthedaywedding

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

I have in fact read all, but am quoting your first post, @questionofthedaywedding

I had people at my wedding who were special to me. They and their babies and children and dogs were welcome, because they are dear family/friends. The same is true of my friends. Otherwise none of us would be friends, I suppose.

FreezeMachine · 19/02/2022 21:27

We are going to a wedding in a few weeks, my husband is an usher and we have a 4 month EBF baby (and a two year old)

It’s no children, including baby. I’m going for the ceremony and dinner and then going home early. I nearly decided to not go, but organised things so I could.

I did not get insulted or annoyed because as a guest the day is not about me. I nearly didn’t go even though I really like the couple, and couldn’t have cared less.

JonSnowIsALoser · 19/02/2022 21:33

If I was supposed to be the groom and my baby - so by definition my partner - were not allowed to attend, I would definitely bow out of being the groom.

Mfsf · 19/02/2022 21:35

I find it so weird that people do not allow children at weddings , it would be unthinkable for me to to not invite children , specially someone as important as your fiancé best friends ones .
Trust me I’m not the biggest fan of others kids but I hate the way society seems to ostracise kids from important events these days

JuergenSchwarzwald · 19/02/2022 21:47

I can totally understand why you wouldn't want children between say 1-10 at a wedding Secondary school kids can behave but may be bored witless. But that's then up to their parents to resolve.

But a newborn is an extension of its mother, and doesn't count.

I hate the way society seems to ostracise kids from important events these days it isn't "these days" - my uncle was widowed and remarried when I was 12. My parents were invited, I wasn't.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 19/02/2022 21:49

@Mandyjack

It might pee off other people who couldnt bring their kids. Have you spoke to him to see how he feels about it? Some parents enjoy having a break from their kids so a child free night out might be welcome. I'd say broach the subject with him
As I said further up, if other parents can't tell the difference between a newborn and say a 4 year old, they can't be very bright. Harsh but completely accurate.
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