Page 24 | Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

questionofthedaywedding · 2022-02-18T15:29:55+00:00

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ? Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come? Asking for a friend situation.

Feedthesheep · 19/02/2022 11:17

Honestly can’t imagine feeling so entitled as to tell anyone else what they should do for their own wedding

This is why I have very low tolerance threshold towards (some types of) other parents 🤢

EsmeSusanOgg · 19/02/2022 11:18

I'd invite the baby in that circumstance.

MrsBDefinitely · 19/02/2022 11:28

We don’t know why they don’t want the baby there though? It could be a very good reason

Why is it so hard to respect their decision - they most likely thought long and hard about asking and obviously decided it was right for them and their wedding

If the wife misses out, she misses out - that’s an unfortunate part of being a parent sometimes. The BM can go home after dinner/speeches

If the wife misses out, that’s sometimes the unfortunate part of being a parent

gingerbiscuits · 19/02/2022 11:55

@Pyri

God yes, it’s a tiny baby not some chatty toddler mashing rice cakes all over the bride

Exactly! ⬆️ His wife can take the baby out during key points if he/she cries but of course they should all be invited as a family. No new mother will want to/be able to leave a weeks old baby to attend an all day/evening wedding!

gingerbiscuits · 19/02/2022 11:57

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

What horrid people! Clearly not decent friends. 🤷‍♀️

MabelsApron · 19/02/2022 12:49

I always think it’s funny on here that weddings with children are small, joyful, relaxed and intimate whereas those without are cold, stressy, huge, instagrammable soulless bores.

I’ve been to over 20 weddings, two childfree. The two childfree were tiny, relaxed affairs with a low key dress code, a group of very close friends in a gorgeous venue, and then a pub for afters. Genuinely makes my heart warm to remember the couple’s day.

The ones with children were all huge, with strict dress codes, a lot of fuss, long dinners with endless racketting and bored kids running underfoot as parents got pissed.

I’ve also been to multiple weddings where parents have been desperately trying to get their kids included in the photos, and in the general fuss conferred on the bridal party, by dressing them up as flower girls when they weren’t, which is probably the most instagrammable notion I can think of. I’ve seen rows start over that kind of thing.

I’ve also seen a mum pick up her baby and bounce and fuss it in the aisle, catching everyone’s eye with a cheery shrug, as the couple stood trying to get married five foot away. That caused a row, too.

I’ve clearly had a different experience from many on here (never seen a crying baby removed) but I long to get invited ti another childfree wedding. One with kids fills me with dread!

MabelsApron · 19/02/2022 12:51

Ooh, I forgot the one where a bunch of five year olds ran around stealing food from other guests’ plates and then chased the girls in an attempt to smear it on their pretty outfits. What a joy that was to watch…!

Pigeonpocket · 19/02/2022 12:58

@MabelsApron

Ooh, I forgot the one where a bunch of five year olds ran around stealing food from other guests’ plates and then chased the girls in an attempt to smear it on their pretty outfits. What a joy that was to watch…!

This is caused by people being friends with people who aren't responsible parents. Not all children or parents at weddings are like this!

I wouldn't ban all uncles from weddings because I happen to have a shitty uncle who got drunk and made a bridesmaid cry at a family wedding. All kinds of people have the potential to behave badly at weddings. At least children have an excuse.

I've been to plenty of weddings where the children were mostly fine, the odd noise as you'd expect but luckily the people getting married weren't the kinds to get annoyed by that and instead got on with having a lovely day.

Hollywolly1 · 19/02/2022 13:38

If the best man goes ahead to the wedding won't it cause an awful lot of upset for his wife, like its difficult for the wife to see her husband accepting that kind of behaviour towards her and their new baby.The bride and groom must really dislike the best mans wife for some reason,I think there must be a back story here somewhere that we are not hearing.Its really like the bride and groom are trying to come between the best man and his wife and if the best man goes to the wedding they will succeed

girlmom21 · 19/02/2022 13:57

@MabelsApron your friends and family with children sound like a bunch of selfish arseholes

Feedthesheep · 19/02/2022 13:57

the bride and groom must really dislike the best mans wife for some reason

Without the wider context as to WHY they’ve asked there is no way you could possibly know this

BurntO · 19/02/2022 14:03

Fine with me. If people want to get huffy over well x child was invited I really wouldn’t give a sod.

velvet24 · 19/02/2022 14:11

Im sure a newborn would be fine and id invite them of course,

MabelsApron · 19/02/2022 14:30

@Pigeonpocket @girlmom21 I mean, I’m clearly not saying that all parents and kids are like this, but this thread is full of people saying that parents take babies out and therefore only soulless people have childfree weddings. I’m offering a different perspective.

You can’t know what kind of parent you’re going to get (my examples all concerned people I either didn’t know at all, or friends of family rather than my nearest and dearest) but the majority of posters on here are of the view that all babies and parents should be allowed. Indeed it’s not clear from the OP whether she has a relationship with the couple or whether just her partner does, but posters are still adamant that she should get to go.

Some parents are assholes, so my view is that I can well understand why people have childfree weddings. I wouldn’t want to exclude uncles necessarily but if I’d seen large numbers of uncles behaving horribly at weddings, then I’d absolutely consider banning them.

girlmom21 · 19/02/2022 14:39

@MabelsApron oh yeah I think people should just exclude everyone unsociable rather than the innocent baby

Pipsquiggle · 19/02/2022 16:14

@questionofthedaywedding - are you coming back?

Are you the bride?

CallmeHendricks · 19/02/2022 16:18

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

That's not a couple I'd want to be best man to (or bridesmaid/whatever).

Ditch them.

TolkiensFallow · 19/02/2022 16:24

I think the other thing is - 99% of the time it is child free people having child free weddings which is totally understandable but it also means they have zero concept of how hard the newborn phase is for some people.

Pre-kids I would 💯 have had a child free wedding and probably lumped newborns in with that but since having them I would never do that to another person.

Doratheexploret · 19/02/2022 16:26

Of course they should be allowed to bring the baby. You can’t leave a baby that young anyway.

girlmom21 · 19/02/2022 16:28

@TolkiensFallow

I think the other thing is - 99% of the time it is child free people having child free weddings which is totally understandable but it also means they have zero concept of how hard the newborn phase is for some people.

Pre-kids I would 💯 have had a child free wedding and probably lumped newborns in with that but since having them I would never do that to another person.

I can't wait for all of our child-free friends to have kids and realise!

We were the first to have children and some child-free weddings have been impossible (imagine asking your friends to be an usher and bridesmaid for you and have a child free wedding in another country 4 hours flight away when they have a 3 month old!!!!) and some have just been a bit shit.
They're always at least 90 minutes from home and at crap times too.

MabelsApron · 19/02/2022 16:53

[quote girlmom21]@MabelsApron oh yeah I think people should just exclude everyone unsociable rather than the innocent baby [/quote]
Yeah no I’m excluding the baby as well. Not its fault its anti-social but doesn’t mean I want it at my wedding!

Slingsanderrors · 19/02/2022 17:01

My son’s best man had his wife and 4 week old baby at the wedding. I sat next to best man on the top table, BM brought the baby to top table just before his speech and I had a lovely baby cuddle.

AegonT · 19/02/2022 17:21

If they know him well enough for him to be best man it's very rude not to invite his wife which is basically what they're doing if they exclude the baby. Also it could be hard for her spending a long day alone with a newborn. No kids rules should exclude small babies. It's toddlers and kids that get annoying at weddings not tiny babies.

notactuallylolling · 19/02/2022 17:30

I think it’s pretty awful that this is even a question tbh. Who would suggest not including a newborn baby where the father is the best man.

OrangeIsTheNewRed · 19/02/2022 17:31

Of COURSE I would include the baby.