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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

957 replies

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:29

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 18/02/2022 20:59

That's 99% of MN isn't it?

Not really. Where someone asks AIBU, they usually engage with the conversation.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 18/02/2022 20:59

Yes I would. We had child free except for babes in arms - it would be totally unfair to ask him to be best man and not accommodate this. Babies sleep most of the time at that age anyway (for those of you with exceptions, bad luck but I stand by that statement).

Most likely his wife would depart the reception fairly soon anyway but it's only fair she and his baby are nearby.

MimsyBorogroves · 18/02/2022 21:02

I had a 3 month old when a close friend got married. His wife broke the "no children" rule for me but asked me not to breastfeed in case it took attention away from her.

Honestly.

DonutEvenAsk · 18/02/2022 21:03

Absolutely yes.

mum11970 · 18/02/2022 21:04

Anyone who asks his best man to leave his wife and newborn at home and take someone else to the wedding is no friend and the best man should take this as evidence of how much his so called friend cares about him, his wife and child.

Ohyesiam · 18/02/2022 21:04

@Ronaldmcdonaldhair

I would but I wouldn’t have a child free wedding in the first place so my opinion on the situation might be irrelevant 🤷‍♀️
^ this
Ohyesiam · 18/02/2022 21:06

@MimsyBorogroves

I had a 3 month old when a close friend got married. His wife broke the "no children" rule for me but asked me not to breastfeed in case it took attention away from her.

Honestly.

Did she wear a very very low cut dress to minimise chances of lactation upstaging?
BABAHOTEL · 18/02/2022 21:06

@MimsyBorogroves

I had a 3 month old when a close friend got married. His wife broke the "no children" rule for me but asked me not to breastfeed in case it took attention away from her.

Honestly.

You are fucking kidding me???

The world has gone mad to think that a women breastfeeding is more interesting than a bride (no offence, but it's just not)!

Bridezilla on speed!

MissAngorian · 18/02/2022 21:07

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

What an absolute bunch of bastards.
Monzeitia · 18/02/2022 21:12

I’m sorry but why are you so negative, of course the baby needs to come, he is the best man of your future husband, why will even question it

Yearofthetygerburningbright · 18/02/2022 21:16

Yes. Babes-in-Arms should be welcome even when older children are not invited.

And otherwise, how awful to leave the Best Man with the problem of deciding whether to withdraw from the wedding and potentially deal with fallout from that (which there shouldn't be, but could be) or to have to deal with the question of potentially leaving his partner with their tiny baby for the day (or longer) to go to the wedding.

Mind you, I take a dim view of people who even ask these questions (unless the venue is actually really not suitable for extreme safety reasons - a few novelty wedding venues are like this).

FeedMeSantiago · 18/02/2022 21:25

@MimsyBorogroves

I had a 3 month old when a close friend got married. His wife broke the "no children" rule for me but asked me not to breastfeed in case it took attention away from her.

Honestly.

Wow!
Girlmumdogmumboymum · 18/02/2022 21:26

Not much of a friend to not want their best man's very young baby there are they?

mariotime · 18/02/2022 21:36

How many other children and babies won't be invited and how much shit will that cause?

Whilst I agree with those saying it's shitty, it depends what the knock on effect is.

QueenofDestruction · 18/02/2022 21:38

No,but if necessary I would look for a new bestman. Babies are the worst at destroying weddings.

Tiredalwaystired · 18/02/2022 21:38

@burnoutbabe

could be that the bride and groom are unable to have kids and don't want to spend their wedding day surrounded by reminders of this? Hence a childfree wedding.
To be fair this was the case in the wedding where my husband was the best man

We respected their wishes of course but it was a miserable experience for me and a complete ball ache. If I hadn’t been breastfeeding it would have been a lot easier to manage.

Tiredalwaystired · 18/02/2022 21:41

I’m fact, it was the first thing the bridge to be said to me when I announced my pregnancy. So I knew from 12 weeks pregnant it would be the case.

Tiredalwaystired · 18/02/2022 21:42

Ugh. Bride not bridge. And in not I’m.

MrsBDefinitely · 18/02/2022 21:44

We had this exact issue and I got so much shit for asking them not to bring the baby - essentially “uninviting” the wife

To be honest if it was the other way around with a child free wedding and someone asked me not to bring the baby I would just let my husband go and graciously stay at home. It’s their wedding so they get to choose how they want it. And I wouldn’t want to be at a wedding with a newborn anyway to be honest

But people do get really annoyed as there seems to be an unspoken rule that babes in arms are the exception so be warned

BABAHOTEL · 18/02/2022 21:45

@QueenofDestruction

No,but if necessary I would look for a new bestman. Babies are the worst at destroying weddings.
Are they?

How many weddings have you been to with new borns?

How have they ruined the wedding??

Your statement is so funny!

MrsBDefinitely · 18/02/2022 21:47

There are lots of reasons as well that OP may not have even gone into

I asked for no children at all at our wedding as after 4 miscarriages and a loss at 26 weeks it was the last thing I wanted to be reminded of on my wedding day tbh

FantasticFebruary · 18/02/2022 21:55

@questionofthedaywedding

They're happy for him to attend, but don't want the baby there.
They're happy for him to attend

That's a strange way to phrase things regarding a best men!!

Why don't they want his partner & baby there??

OhWhyNot · 18/02/2022 21:57

Yes of course

Or choose another best man

PurpleFlower1983 · 18/02/2022 21:58

Yes I would and I did with one of my bridesmaids.

WeddingHangover · 18/02/2022 22:04

No. A child free wedding is exactly that. Why on earth anyone would want to take their kids to a wedding anyway I have no idea!