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Original poster

Would you allow best man's newborn at wedding

957 replies

questionofthedaywedding · 18/02/2022 15:29

If your best man would be father to a 1-2 month old new born on your wedding day, would you allow the newborn at the wedding, when it's generally a no children wedding ?

Is that being harsh to best man and his wife, who'll presumably only come if newborn can come?

Asking for a friend situation.

OP posts:
CorneliusVetch · 18/02/2022 18:37

No one has the right to ask any guest not to bring their children let alone a tiny newborn

What the fuck?

This is symptomatic of the entitled attitude of those who think children “should” be invited to weddings. Those who are hosting and paying don’t have the right to not have every single offspring of every single guest there. Batshit.

Obviously in this case, as it’s one newborn and the best man I think they are being unreasonable. (I don’t think other guests with babies can complain that the best man’s baby can go and theirs can’t). But babies can wreck weddings and the general selfishishness of those who think bride and grooms should just suck it up really fucks me off.

labyrinthlaziness · 18/02/2022 18:37

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

This is awful.

If I was that 'best man' I would tell them to fuck off tbh.

ItsSnowJokes · 18/02/2022 18:39

They are being twats. They will lose a best man and a good friend if they carry on and I speak from experience. It ruined a 38 year friendship for my husband when his bestie did the same to him.

Nixster87 · 18/02/2022 18:39

Let’s put it this way. If they had booked the wedding before the pandemic and this was the date they postponed to would they choose another best man because he had since had a baby? Or if by chance they had a baby of their own during the last two years would they outsource the care of their own baby as presumably their closest family and friends would be wedding guests? Or would they expect dear MIL to be to miss wedding to take care of baby because it’s a child free wedding. I couldn’t imagine not having kids at a wedding it’s a family celebration. Put the question to the bride, if they had a bridesmaid that was breastfeeding would that bridesmaid note make the cut either?

labyrinthlaziness · 18/02/2022 18:40

@VirginMedium

kids are the only people who really enjoy weddings 🤣
This is often true and child-free weddings are the most boring of all. I always try to get out of child-free weddings as you know they will be pretentious and dull. I do quite like a relaxed wedding but as soon as they get all serious they are best avoided.
Franklin12 · 18/02/2022 18:41

I don’t agree with not counting babies as children. Having been to weddings where babies have been crying and parents don’t leave spoils the wedding.

But I agree the best man might not come.

Pedalpushers · 18/02/2022 18:41

Yes, obviously anyone who doesn't want kids at their wedding blew the whole budget on fireworks and expensive favours and did it all for the gram Confused I invited kids to my wedding, noone brought them, but they would have cost an additional 500 pounds if they'd all come and the venue, which was already larger than most, would have been at max capacity. Considering MN has a fit at weddings over £100 and 10 people...and I had neither fireworks nor favours! I also find it bizarre that people on here can't understand those who actually prefer adult company to children.

oviraptor21 · 18/02/2022 18:41

Tbf, if the bride and groom are unable to have children they may not want even babies on the one day in their lives that they can really call the shots.
Also, how well does OP/newborn's mum know the couple? If barely at all it would probably make sense to stay at home with such a newborn especially as the wedding venue seems a fair distance away. Does this mean the couple also live far away in which case best man has been chosen for historic reasons rather than current closeness?

EmoIsntDead · 18/02/2022 18:42

We had this exact issue at our wedding. Best man's baby was about 8 weeks old and attended our child free wedding. Baby's aunt drove them, went to a cafe nearby with baby during the church ceremony as best man's wife was scared the baby would cry during our bows! It was do thoughtful of her.

At the reception we booked a room in the hotel for them so she could breastfeed/change baby/have a lie down any time she needed to. It wasn't an issue at all.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2022 18:43

I can't believe anyone would have a problem with this.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2022 18:44

YYY to GreenWheat

Anniegetyourgun76 · 18/02/2022 18:44

We were in this exact situation and yes we did invite the whole family. We allowed kids under 3, they were all fine.

MrsLauraM · 18/02/2022 18:46

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

Are these people serious?! This person is best man for goodness sake, not just some random relative or work colleague!! What person in their right mind would insist that their BEST MAN attend a wedding without their wife and newborn child?! I’d be telling them that they need to look for a new best man.
cakewench · 18/02/2022 18:47

A baby that small should be allowed imo. (assuming mum takes the baby out if required. And yes I'm saying mum because obviously dad is taking part in the ceremony)

I think a lot of the "it's MY DAY" crowd forget that yes, it's your day, but there are a lot of days you need to live after that day. Is this really worth the fallout, especially given that this person is clearly very close if they are BM?

booplefloof · 18/02/2022 18:49

No way I would even consider being part of this wedding party.
Bride and groom are a pair of dicks and they will realize when they become parents.

statetrooperstacey · 18/02/2022 18:49

I would probably say yes because awkward, but I’d be raging and if it was up to me would rather have a different best man!

Totalwasteofpaper · 18/02/2022 18:50

@questionofthedaywedding

Wedding is quite far from where the BM and wife live.

The bridegroom are suggesting the best man just comes in his own and leaves wife and baby at home. They've even suggested BM can take another plus one instead of wife and baby.

😅😅😅 Just no. Horrible horrible behaviour.

The groom is clearly self absorbed or has no interest in retaining his best friend as a friend.

Someone needs to tell the B&G what arseholes they are being.

And the best man should pull out rather than suffer through it and let the friendship die post-wedding…

tkwal · 18/02/2022 18:50

Yes. Of course

Wherearemymarbles · 18/02/2022 18:51

What a pair of cunts they are op!

scottishnames · 18/02/2022 18:51

Perhaps the bride/bridegroom should ask someone else more photogenic/less likely to cause an interruption to exchage vows/be photographed.
If they think their Best Man's wife can simply be exchanged because not convenient, why not one of them?

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2022 18:52

DH was asked to be best man about 3 weeks after I was due to have DS. He was actually very late so was only 1 week old at the time.
The Groom was a good friend of DHs from school and had actually been our Best Man.
I said from the start I didn’t think me and baby should go as soon as DH was asked because I wanted DH to be able to properly fulfil his Best Man duties and not have to worry about us. There was a back up BM waiting in the wings too just in case
So DH went on his own (4 hours drive away)and me and baby went to stay with MIL for a few days
Everyone was happyb

Rosscameasdoody · 18/02/2022 18:52

The best man is ‘best man’ for a reason, so my answer would be yes.

ImInStealthMode · 18/02/2022 18:52

Of course. We're having an ostensibly child-free wedding (we don't particularly object to them coming, but none are) but turns out now that Best Man's 4 year old may need to come. No problem. We'd rather he be there than his Mum & Dad not be.

yoyo1234 · 18/02/2022 18:53

I would definitely have the baby and BM's family invited. I also wouldn't have a child free wedding.

GreysEmma · 18/02/2022 18:57

I had a similar situation happen to me. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding. My baby was 5 weeks old and they wanted a child free wedding. My husband was going to watch my son for a couple of hours whilst I was at the church and then bring him to the reception but then my friend told me that my husband could come but couldn't bring my son as they wanted whole day being child free. I didn't want to be away from him all day with him only being over a month old. I didn't end up going to the wedding at all and we are no longer friends. Not exactly because of that but it didn't help.