Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To not give two figs about housework?

168 replies

Tartankilt · 17/02/2022 13:38

Is it just me who finds MN a bit obsessive about this topic? I’ve opened another thread about a husband going part time and he is expected to do housework. I started a thread yesterday about dropping DD off at nursery and started being quizzed about housework.

I get that if it’s an 80/20 split it’s a pain in the arse but is it just me who thinks too much angst? Our house regularly looks like someone has ransacked it though so I might not be the best person to ask!

OP posts:

Original poster

Tartankilt · 17/02/2022 19:03

I sympathise!

OP posts:

Swear · 17/02/2022 19:05

How much laundry you do very much depends on how often people wear the same clothes. When children are at school, they can happily wear uniform all day, and it doesn't need to be washed daily. Twice a week is fine.

Swear · 17/02/2022 19:06

And obviously, there is no need to iron most clothes, and all children's clothes.

BigSkies22 · 17/02/2022 19:08

So, then, OP - is the children's father doing half of the night settling since that is where you find the shoe pinches? If housework (as opposed to childcare and management) isn't an issue for you in your household, why post about it? And, incidentally, I agree with you. Much as I enjoyed being a parent, there were many times when I would have cheerfully cleaned the house rather than engage with a Lego-wielding tyrant with apparently limitless capacity for play and no need for sleep.

So, what are you going to do about the split of childcare (since you just don't care about housework!)?

roarfeckingroarr · 17/02/2022 19:11

My cleaner costs just £30 a week and does the whole flat plus changes bed sheets. Best money I spend and means it just takes 5-10 min each day of light tidying / wiping down the kitchen.

Original poster

Tartankilt · 17/02/2022 19:12

If housework (as opposed to childcare and management) isn't an issue for you in your household, why post about it?

People do post about themes on MN generally, not just their own immediate situations.

So, what are you going to do about the split of childcare (since you just don't care about housework!)?

Is this like yesterday, where I have to submit a strategic plan to MN?

OP posts:

BigSkies22 · 17/02/2022 19:18

I haven't read your other thread so I have no expectations based on that. But if you have posted - I don't care about x, but I do find y stressful, AIBU? And if people are responding to you saying, yes, fair division of labour in a household is an actual thing, YANBU, you have a good point - what are you going to do about it is not an unreasonable next question. Or am I being unreasonable?

OkPedro · 17/02/2022 19:51

The thing that gets me that I've only ever heard on MN is "house admin"..What is this?! I've heard oh renewing house/car insurance.. once a year surely? Paying BroadBand/phone..direct debits anyone? The only time I've ever dedicated any time to admin is when I've moved house and had to change address on everything

LadyEloise1 · 17/02/2022 19:54

I'm always a bit gobsmacked with the hygiene obsessives on Mumsnet.
Flinging bleach down the loo and sinks willy nilly.
Do they not know we only have finite amount of water on Earth.
Have they heard of "The Water Cycle"
Constantly washing clothes and bedding, using a tumble dryer when they have other drying facilities.
Don't they know there is a crisis re Global Warming ?
Don't they care about the world their grandchildren and great grandchildren will inherit ?
I'm no slattern and yes I put the odd bit of bleach down the loo / sinks and occasionally use the tumble dryer.
Humans have survived for eons - living without soap, baths, showers, washing machines, detergents etc.
We are resilient.
I wish the cleaning obsessives would take a step back and think of the implications of their cleaning.
Rant over

Pyri · 17/02/2022 19:56

@OkPedro

I suppose for us there is a bit of admin that comes with the actual house. So clearing the gutters, repainting the windows, mending the flush on the loo, resetting the doors etc etc

All quite small jobs that you only need to do once / or once a year, but means there is a constant list of “stuff”

I don’t think it’s as dramatic as MN makes out though

Boombastic22 · 17/02/2022 19:58

I couldn’t think of much worse than my house looking ransacked and yes I’d generally think the housework should mainly fall to the person working part time. They could always work full time and get a cleaner.

CaliFrown · 17/02/2022 20:52

[quote PuppyMonkey]@CaliFrown it’s all very well leaving the loo as you found it. But when does it get a proper clean with bleach or Harpic or whatever ? What about doing round the rim? Or under the lid? Or those little annoying bits near the hinge of the lid where you need to wipe otherwise it’s all mucky and grim? Your kids are doing that when they leave it as they find it are they?[/quote]
@PuppyMonkey My "kids" are all 18+, so I hope they have been well trained enough by now.

When they were very little, I just used to do the 'extra' when I used it myself, which was not infrequently. Their job was to wipe the seat/floor as necessary, and flush.

CaliFrown · 17/02/2022 20:54

@ShallWeTalkAboutBruno

My DC are 8, 6 and 3. Laundry is the bane of my fucking life. Everything else pales into insignificance.

Now, laundry was another matter altogether when they were little. Fucking laundry. I very occasionally saw the bottom of one of the laundry baskets, and then it would be full again.

CaliFrown · 17/02/2022 20:55

@Pyri See - that is the kind of stuff that I see as the fun bit of house-owning. I love all the DIY stuff (and there's more than enough of it in a Georgian house). I just cba with housework.

Silverswirl · 17/02/2022 21:14

Totally with you OP.
I choose doing things and going out enjoying ourselves far higher than housework.
Housework fits in around other stuff. If the weather is good or passable (ie not lashing down or a storm!) then we are out making the most of every day.
Floors are hoovered downstairs every couple of days and dishwasher loaded / emptied every day but that’s about the extent of it.
Washing clothes is kept to a minimum. Only if they smell or are visibly dirty.
Beds changed once a month (I don’t keep check so that’s a guess) unless visibly dirty or smelly.
Dusting is when I see dust.
Surfaces wiped if I can see they have stuff on them.
Fridge cleaned if something has leaked or if I can see muck.
Upstairs carpet doesn’t get much of a look in admittedly because I’m too lazy to lug the hoover up but either me or DH do it when we have a spare extra 20 mins to Hoover.
We don’t let it rule our lives but feel the house is still fairly ok.
If someone is coming or I have family over then more time will be spent before they arrive (if I have notice they are coming)
So a deeper clean gets done then.
I love having experiences / fun and visiting places too much to ever stay in cleaning. What a waste of precious life.

Josette77 · 17/02/2022 22:00

I don't understand the idea that cleaning is a waste of life? If you do it regularlily it takes no time each day.
I love my home and I think cleaning it is part of showing my love for it.
Most people aren't out and about each day living life to their fullest. Most of us have 30 minutes a day at home to clean. No one on here has said they spend hours a day cleaning.

Silverswirl · 17/02/2022 22:53

@Josette77

I don't understand the idea that cleaning is a waste of life? If you do it regularlily it takes no time each day. I love my home and I think cleaning it is part of showing my love for it. Most people aren't out and about each day living life to their fullest. Most of us have 30 minutes a day at home to clean. No one on here has said they spend hours a day cleaning.

Plenty of people do though. And I think that is what the OP means

Satingreenshutters · 18/02/2022 10:59

I can't deal with the beds changed once a month bit....that's just manky.

Blossomtoes · 18/02/2022 11:04

@Satingreenshutters

I can't deal with the beds changed once a month bit....that's just manky.

Yes, I’m a slattern but that’s below even my fairly low standards.

Flatandhappy · 18/02/2022 11:23

We’re pretty slack tbh, I would far rather read a book than do housework. Luckily DH and I have pretty much the same standards. Obviously the basics get done, kitchens and bathrooms get cleaned, everyone wears clean clothes, sheets get changed but dusting isn’t a priority and we keep talking about wiping down the skirting boards…. Once the kids hit their teenage years I stopped cleaning their bedrooms and bathrooms so they had to do it. Bottom line is nobody feels hard done by which I think is the goal in any family.

stayathomer · 18/02/2022 15:24

I can't deal with the beds changed once a month bit....that's just manky.
Does it not depend though? I've 4 boys, all get their sheets changed once a week but there is 1 who's sheets definitely aren't too dirty and one who's actually smell. Surely it all depends on activity, sweating etc?

Fairislefandango · 18/02/2022 15:28

I don't understand the idea that cleaning is a waste of life? If you do it regularly it takes no time each day.

No it doesn't! Or else you have a very,very different idea of what constitutes 'no time'.

Mumoblue · 18/02/2022 15:47

Mess seems never-ending in my house, mostly because my 2 year old follows me around all day untidying things I just tidied.

Having a messy house makes me feel stressed, so I like to keep on top of it as much as I can, which some days is less than others.

FanciedChange · 18/02/2022 15:58

I am so sick and tired of cleaning and tidying. I wish I could let it go but I can't. My DC have high needs SEN and just fling (literal) shit everywhere. Toys deliberately emptied out then hurled around. Curtains ripped down, drawings on the floor when I turn my back, smearing food all over the place, deliberately blocking the toilets then flushing them. Every time I deal with one thing, one of them does another. Anywhooo (this is probably not the place for the rant ), every time I see TOMM or Fly Lady or whatever I just groan and feel like I wish I could have the time and space for that instead of wondering how to fish a turd out from behind a radiator ...

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 18/02/2022 16:02

I just do it as I go along then I don't need to do big cleans often.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7