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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think fully grown men shouldn't need to pee in the street

254 replies

Madmaxxy · 16/02/2022 13:36

I've just had the joy of looking out of my front room window to see a man had pulled his car up (into private spaces that are designated for the flats on our road) and relieved himself into the space. I saw everything

For context we are not rural! It's a long residential road that runs parallel to a main road, which is opposite the centre of town. Busy with cars and pedestrians, and opposite a long row of houses like mine. This was also less than a metre from the pavement, so a poor unsuspecting pedestrian would behave got an eyeful.
I also know that that space belongs to a family with three young children and he's just filled it with his piss in broad daylight.
So AIBU to think a fully grown man should at least be able to hold it until they get to a McDonald's or something.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 16/02/2022 14:19

It's a man thing. There's a certain type of man who feels entitled to do what he wants, where he wants, when he wants.

People might try to excuse the behaviour and downplay it, but you don't see women doing it in the same numbers.

Supertree · 16/02/2022 14:20

Sorry, no idea where I got film and shame him from! I don't think anybody actually suggested filming a person doing this but it's really upsetting to think of my poor dad being shamed for something he's tried to solve in various ways.

ButtercupOfFlorin · 16/02/2022 14:20

All the people saying he could have a medical issue 1 how many times have you seen a woman pissing in the street?

Let’s face it he’s 99.9% likely to have done it because he can

LowlandLucky · 16/02/2022 14:21

MorningStarling Urinating is a normal bodily function but would you be happy for men to walk down the street with their Penis sticking out of their trousers ? I am pretty sure you wouldn't be happy and just look away.

Brett239 · 16/02/2022 14:21

Why did you watch him lol!!! Go hose it down if you are that concerned.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 16/02/2022 14:22

Yanbu 🤢 a couple of months ago I parked in the nursery carpark and was followed by an Espo truck. The driver hopped out and had a piss up his tyre, right there in the carpark, next to the path where the kids walk in. This was at the time when all the 3/4yr olds were arriving for the day too so any kid could easily have seen him 🤢

Akire · 16/02/2022 14:22

I’ve also started pulling a face and making tut noises as I go past or if with someone make a show of pointing. It’s another social thing women are supposed to be ignore when reality it’s really on edges of aggressive/sexual behaviour. Just because it’s been norm for society doesn’t mean we shouldn’t challenge it.

LaBellina · 16/02/2022 14:24

@Brett239

Why did you watch him lol!!! Go hose it down if you are that concerned.
I think the OP should be able to look out of the window of her own home without being confronted with a strangers penis….leave alone that she should clean his mess. Unless that would involve rubbing his face in his own piss.
Justleaveitblankthen · 16/02/2022 14:25

I would have filmed him and his car registration, then asked the police if they wanted the footage. Isn't it a public decency offence or something? I remember Penny Lancaster ( in her role as a community Police ) making a similar dirty fucker buy a bottle of water to clean it off with.
He should have driven off to a quiet area at the very least.

JimmyDurham · 16/02/2022 14:26

So AIBU to think a fully grown man should at least be able to hold it until they get to a McDonald's or something.

Oh, OP, if only we could.

Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 14:26

Delivery drivers should ensure they do have emergency bottles. There really is no excuse.

And while I sympathise Alisae, you know you have difficulties with urgency - so either get referred to a continence advisor to help you manage the issue or manage it more appropriately yourself. Tena pads if doing a long car journey, just in case - stop at every service station you see even when you don’t ‘need’ to go yet - set an alarm on your watch or phone to alert you to go every two hours or whatever so you never reach crisis point. These things are manageable without pissing in the street.

That said, peeing in the woods is generally acceptable to most people - if you avoid flashing your arse at passing walkers. Men tend to be indiscrete even in the woods. And you’d be hard pushed for anyone to register what you are doing on a motorway lay-by as they whizz past at 70mph. There is a difference between what you are doing and a women whipping her knickers down outside the school gate while dropping little Johnny off, and expecting everyone to ‘look away’ if they are embarrassed!!!

tiredanddangerous · 16/02/2022 14:28

A lot of men are taught that this is ok by their parents at a very young age. I used to work in a primary school and we had a lot of issues with boys in reception pissing in the playground rather than going inside to the toilet. Funnily enough I never heard of a girl doing it.

vixeyann · 16/02/2022 14:30

YANBU - I don't think I've ever seen a woman doing it but have seen many men, sometimes proudly. Re medical conditions, if that were an issue you would carry a bottle or a small mini urinal thing like the one we have always kept in the car for son. Some people don't have social niceties anymore.

Original poster
Madmaxxy · 16/02/2022 14:34

@LaBellina thank you for talking sense! (And everyone else) I'm at home with covid and a 7 month old so there is lots of looking out the window at the moment Grin

OP posts:
Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 14:37

@Folklore9074

Not great but I think as men get older the need to peeks worse for them than women. Their prostate gland pushes on the bladder.
It isn’t worse for men.
LaBellina · 16/02/2022 14:38

Get well soon Flowers

TravellingFrom · 16/02/2022 14:40

@CorrBlimeyGG

Sometimes people just cannot wait. Especially as they get older.
If people have some incontinence issue, they wear a nappy.

You’d never see a woman peeing in the street so why do men think it’s ok to do that? 🤮🤮🤮

Brefugee · 16/02/2022 14:41

gosh all the people excusing it.
it is disgusting and unhygenic and as others have mentioned there is so much data about women restricting either their fluid intake or leaving their houses due to the lack of facilities.

Men though. It is disgusting. The fans at my local footie club do it. I always want to go over, peer over someone's shoulder and shout out "it's like a penis but much much smaller" (but i don't because body shaming)

TravellingFrom · 16/02/2022 14:41

@Folklore9074

Not great but I think as men get older the need to peeks worse for them than women. Their prostate gland pushes on the bladder.
They also have a longer urethra which means they are less likely to have ‘leaks’ etc…. And makes it easier for them to hold.
Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 14:41

@Supertree

My dad is a postman and this is a problem for him. He has some kind of bladder problem and will wet himself if he can't go. The GP prescribed some medication but it had worse side effects. It's humiliating. There used to be more public toilets available but they've all shut. So then he found a few buildings which would allow him to use the toilet during his round (he can't spend time driving around to different areas as he has to stay on his round). The few that were allowing him to use the facilities either changed the layout and didn't allow it anymore (a leisure centre which moved the toilets to the changing area) or stopped it due to covid. He now has to share a van with another worker so can't use the device he previously had. There really aren't that many other options available to him. I'm not sure what the other postmen and women do but it might be that they don't have a bladder problem and are able to hold it for longer. He does find hidden areas on his walk and hasn't been seen (to his knowledge) but feels pretty embarrassed by it and can't wash his hands, though does use antibac gel. I can't imagine that wearing continence pants like a nappy and then walking for hours would be comfortable on a daily basis. I would be furious if someone tried to film him and shame him.
There are other options.

He can return to his GP and tell him the medication didn’t agree with him. There may be alternatives.

He can ask to be referred to a continence advisor. He could wear an external penile sheath, like a condom, attached to a bag which he ties to his leg while on his rounds and remove it when home.

There are many options. Peeing in the street isn’t ok.

Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 14:44

@JimmyDurham

So AIBU to think a fully grown man should at least be able to hold it until they get to a McDonald's or something.

Oh, OP, if only we could.

If you can’t, go to your GP. There are ways to manage these things.
Silverswirl · 16/02/2022 14:45

No one should be pissing in the street. Literally no one.
Even a toddler should be provided with a potty or be taken to a piece of grass or soil at least.
Men just feel so fucking entitled. Fancy a wee so I’m going to do it right here - don’t give a flying fuck who cares or is watching.
A man once pissed in my front garden on his way to the rail station. Middle of the day whilst I was having a bbq in my back garden and has just come round the front to access the garage. Absolutely disgusting and carries a fine.
Only women I have seen pissing in the street is someone who is very drunk and often below the age of 20 (doesn’t make it right) but never have I seen a middle aged woman pulling down her knickers and pissing in the street. Seen plenty of men

1forward2back · 16/02/2022 14:45

It’s really poor form. The other thing I’ve noted an increase of is spitting on the street - often coughing up stuff then spitting it. Vile.

Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 14:45

@Supertree

Sorry, no idea where I got film and shame him from! I don't think anybody actually suggested filming a person doing this but it's really upsetting to think of my poor dad being shamed for something he's tried to solve in various ways.
Advocate for him with his GP if they are not taking the issue seriously. You would leave you mum to pee in the street. You would get her medical help. Same applies to your dad. There are solutions!
irishfarmer · 16/02/2022 14:46

@Supertree that is different. And if it wasn't something that clearly everyone on this thread has witnessed at some point we would be inclined to think it was a medical issue, but it is a common occurrence and clearly men just think it is ok.

People are so right that parents teach their little boys it is ok, I was in O'Connell Street in Dublin (one of the biggest streets in the country) and a woman let her 5/6yr old pee against in the door of a building right next to where I was standing (I moved)! This was pre covid and plenty of places McD/ Burger king/ etc around were open.