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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

417 replies

Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 13:47

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

OP posts:
worldvisa · 15/02/2022 16:04

@amiafreakofnature

Spoil their woman? Did we just go back in time 300 years?
bit grim if people in a relationship don't spoil each other, or do you think women are inferior and don't deserve any effort?

In a lesbian relationship, is it also wrong to spoil the other?

Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 16:06

@AryaStarkWolf

"rude" about valentines day? Really, it's just a bloody holiday, why do some people view it as a personal attack if others think the day is tacky and don't celebrate it?
Did you actually read the OP? This isn’t about people thinking it’s tacky and not celebrating it. I was pretty explicit about that. Nor is anything being taken as a personal attack.
OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 16:06

@ShittyFingers

“Oooooh you’re hard”

😂😂 comment of the day!

I know right! Grin
Waddlegoose · 15/02/2022 16:06

I don’t mind Valentine’s Day at all, we don’t do much but I also don’t mind others doing more or less

I always of the opinion do what makes you happy. Not sure why it would matter what other people do. People who complain about other doing valentines should also complain about all celebrated holidays (Easter / Christmas/ weddings / baby showers) you can say they are all commercial and a waste of time.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 15/02/2022 16:07

Oooooh you’re hard 🙄 obviously you’ve never been given a stuffed hedgehog

This comment has Made. My. Day.

Thank you

HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 16:08

@amiafreakofnature

Spoil their woman? Did we just go back in time 300 years?

Oh behave yourself FGS! Hmm

Are men not allowed to treat and spoil their woman now, without the mood hoovers and fun sponges shitting all over it?! Bore off. Hmm

Gwenhwyfar · 15/02/2022 16:08

@Veryworried22

I don't care about Valentines day. Celebrate it or don't, makes no difference to me. I do tire of whiny brats meaning they didn't get good enough gifts/enough attention. It tends to make women look like twats too because I'm yet to see a man moan that he didn't get a nice enough bunch of flowers 🙄
There's a thread right now where the DG complained the meal was not romantic enough.
worldvisa · 15/02/2022 16:09

People are the same about Christmas, Easter, Halloween, adults celebrating their birthday.
Some people are miserable.

You forgot weddings. One must be the happiest they have ever been ONLY if they grab a stranger from the street, run to the nearest registry office in their tracksuits and have a fish and chips to celebrate. Anything else is over the top and only means a pending divorce or is a need for attention on social media Grin

Let's be honest, if people really did not care, they wouldn't be so angry and violent about them..

HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 16:10

Sorry but there is no way in HELL that these woman shitting all over other womens fun/romance/cuddly hedgehogs/hearts and flowers etc are not JEALOUS. They are soooooooooooo jealous! Grin

Such spiteful and catty remarks would not come from people who were happy with their life, their relationship, and with what they have got. The envy and spite ooozes out of every post!

AryaStarkWolf · 15/02/2022 16:11

Did you actually read the OP? This isn’t about people thinking it’s tacky and not celebrating it. I was pretty explicit about that. Nor is anything being taken as a personal attack.

This thread just reminded me of another from yesterday where the OP was disappointed her OH hadn't gotten her anything and people really were taking it as a personal attack on that thread. I never realised that it was such a contentious subject until I started posting here

goawaystormy · 15/02/2022 16:12

Because some people just can't let other people enjoy things without sticking their beak in.

Me and my boyfriend do low key valentines day, we cook together, watch a film, have sex, and exchange cards. Except we cook together, watch a film (or tv show) and have sex 3 or 4 nights a week anyway. The cards are a nice little token, i've kept everyone i've ever got from him (including birthdays and christmas) but they're not expensive or commercialised or tat. It's just nice to have an excuse to celebrate, to add some spice to an otherwise normal night together in february.

Now I don't see the point in going out for valentines day, have looked into it and every restaurant seems to do overpriced set menus which isn't actually what I want to eat. But i don't judge people who do, if it makes them happy good for them. The world is pretty dire, february is a long dark month with little other joy in it, what's wrong with having an extra excuse to feel good and do something nice together?

amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 16:13

Their woman

Ffs what a tool

amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 16:14

@HelloFrostyMorning

Sorry but there is no way in HELL that these woman shitting all over other womens fun/romance/cuddly hedgehogs/hearts and flowers etc are not JEALOUS. They are soooooooooooo jealous! Grin

Such spiteful and catty remarks would not come from people who were happy with their life, their relationship, and with what they have got. The envy and spite ooozes out of every post!

You believe men own women so your opinion really is irrelevant
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 16:14

@amiafreakofnature I thought I remembered your username, so went and had a look at your last post. I’m very sorry that your relationship is in the state that it is, and it’s understandable that you have a lot of anger.

However, that really doesn’t excuse your behaviour on this thread. You came in hot, full of insults, and have continued to be unpleasant and goady. Basically spoiling for a fight. Insulting and tearing down other women won’t fix your love life.

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 16:14

@goawaystormy

we have sex 3 or 4 nights a week anyway.

And you mentioned this because...........................

SockFluffInTheBath · 15/02/2022 16:16

Such spiteful and catty remarks would not come from people who were happy with their life, their relationship, and with what they have got. The envy and spite ooozes out of every post!

Hmm pretty happy with my life and 20-yr relationship thanks. I just cba with glittery frou frou tat. We’re different, clearly, and would be unhappy with each other’s DH’s approaches to showing affection.

Cheekypeach · 15/02/2022 16:16

What is tat? Can any of you valentines Scrooges tell me?

HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 16:16

@amiafreakofnature

you believe men own women anyway hellofrostymorning.

EH?!

WTF are you on about...seriously? Confused

Point out where I said that.

Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 16:17

@AryaStarkWolf

Did you actually read the OP? This isn’t about people thinking it’s tacky and not celebrating it. I was pretty explicit about that. Nor is anything being taken as a personal attack.

This thread just reminded me of another from yesterday where the OP was disappointed her OH hadn't gotten her anything and people really were taking it as a personal attack on that thread. I never realised that it was such a contentious subject until I started posting here

I don’t think I saw that thread, so can’t really say.

However, I agree. It certainly seems a far more contentious subject on MN than in real life. At least, in my experience.

OP posts:
amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 16:17

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@amiafreakofnature I thought I remembered your username, so went and had a look at your last post. I’m very sorry that your relationship is in the state that it is, and it’s understandable that you have a lot of anger.

However, that really doesn’t excuse your behaviour on this thread. You came in hot, full of insults, and have continued to be unpleasant and goady. Basically spoiling for a fight. Insulting and tearing down other women won’t fix your love life.[/quote]
If you are going to get personal and try and discredit me my husband gets me something every Valentine's Day. Like I said proves celebrating Valentine's Day means nothing in the grand scheme of things

Dreamstate · 15/02/2022 16:18

@HelloFrostyMorning

Sorry but there is no way in HELL that these woman shitting all over other womens fun/romance/cuddly hedgehogs/hearts and flowers etc are not JEALOUS. They are soooooooooooo jealous! Grin

Such spiteful and catty remarks would not come from people who were happy with their life, their relationship, and with what they have got. The envy and spite ooozes out of every post!

Lolllllll im so not jealous, not one bit. Esp since I dont celebrate those days. In my religion we have other days that I do celebrate instead.

Nevertheless I'd never be loaning that the gift is not big enough expensive enough etc. I think that is rude in itself to complain about a gift. Its a gift, some people need to learn what that means and be gracious.

Chasingaftermidnight · 15/02/2022 16:18

I wonder if antipathy towards VD could be to do with experiences of it in early life?

On Valentine’s Day at my school you could have roses sent with an anonymous message to whoever you had a crush on. For £1 a rose I think. And they were delivered during class, in front of everyone. Girls could send roses to boys but in practice it was only girls who received roses. Obviously the pretty girls would get six roses each and the less attractive girls wouldn’t get any. And the rest of the day was spent discussing how many roses people got.

This was 20 years ago of course. I hope things have changed now. But it was all pretty humiliating and frankly reinforced the idea that girls’ worth is in their physical attractiveness to boys.

We don’t really do VD. I love Christmas, Easter, Halloween, pancake day, Bonfire Night, baby showers, hen dos, and weddings. But Valentine’s Day and New Year are the two celebrations I don’t love. I think it’s because you do the same things you might do on any other night but pay 5 x the amount for them.

amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 16:20

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@amiafreakofnature I thought I remembered your username, so went and had a look at your last post. I’m very sorry that your relationship is in the state that it is, and it’s understandable that you have a lot of anger.

However, that really doesn’t excuse your behaviour on this thread. You came in hot, full of insults, and have continued to be unpleasant and goady. Basically spoiling for a fight. Insulting and tearing down other women won’t fix your love life.[/quote]
Think you were the one who came here full of anger and barking at everyone else who didn't agree with your non existent 'point'
But hey yeah my relationship is Shit thanks for reminding me at least I can boast I have some nice flowers delivered I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

Gwenhwyfar · 15/02/2022 16:20

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@TTstormtrooper Holidays, much like other customs, evolve. It’s roots are not feminine, but in its modern incarnation, Valentine’s Day is very much a ‘girly’ holiday in most people’s minds.[/quote]
As a single person, that has never occurred to me. I see it as a couples' day. I agree that the history of St Valentine is not important any more.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 15/02/2022 16:21

I think some (not all) people think it gives them an edge.

It's best to just nod, smile and happily eat our heart-shaped chocolates.