To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

[Sweetlikejollof]

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

I'm going to answer the original question. I've never really been into Valentine's Day. Partly because I genuinely don't need/want more stuff and would rather spend money or putting effort into a more personal occasion. And partly because I spent 19 years in a relationship with someone who didn't show me much affection, didn't 'do' cards (often didn't get me a birthday card), generally didn't put a lot of thought into gifts - you get the picture. It helped preserve my belief that there was nothing wrong with the relationship if I was a bit sneery about romantic gestures and Valentine's Day (and my own birthday, and Christmas presents for adults). If I had placed a lot of value on those things, I would have been constantly disappointed. Having said that, I didn't go around openly mocking what other people were doing and certainly wouldn't have gone to the effort of slagging them off online.

I can easily see how rudeness about it could stem from defensiveness.

I'm in a lovely new relationship now and although I don't like waste and buying things for the sake of it, my new partner likes any excuse for a romantic gesture and doing something a bit special. I still find it somewhat contrived, but I made an effort to do something for him this year. I like doing nice things for him anyway, because he's lovely and I want him to feel loved and appreciated. However, I still feel that spending lots of money and making grand gestures (also applies to Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries) isn't necessary to show someone you care about them.

And I genuinely don't understand why people need to share what they got/did on social media. But then I generally don't understand people sharing their personal life in public.

Spoil their woman? Did we just go back in time 300 years?

[quote SockFluffInTheBath]@HelloFrostyMorning not me, I’m quite picky and choose well. I was merely agreeing with the sentiment. As for being spoiled by my man, dear god, I’m not a girlie pwincessy type who needs tokens and tat to feel valued.[/quote]
Oooooh you’re hard 🙄 obviously you’ve never been given a stuffed hedgehog

Some people think it’s an either/or situation for some reason.
Your dh is either showing love all year round so doesn’t need to on Valentine’s Day Or he doesn’t do it all year round and does on Valentine’s Day for show or some such.
It’s possible to have a partner who shows love all year round and on Valentine’s Day too!
I, for one, love it. Any excuse for romance, why not? Who doesn’t love a nice dinner, thoughtful words in a card, beautiful flowers and chocolate. I started off the day feeling very grumpy as have a newborn and no sleep ! It gave me a really happy boost.
I also think some resent the fact others have romantic partners and have settled for getting nothing ( and I’m sure it’s similar throughout the year)

@HelloFrostyMorning and maybe you should chill the fuck out instead of looking for arguments everywhere. I was meaning there's never going to be satisfactory answer to the OP's question. Only the same comments that are versions of, "people are jealous" or "valentines day is grabby/tacky"

@Sweetlikejollof

I don’t know any couples that don’t do something on Valentine’s Day. Not necessarily something big or showy, but a little loving gesture. And nobody gets het up about it.

Exactly!

Your friend’s DD’s colleague sounds like a shocker of a human being. I always wonder how some of the posters on here function in real life. Like that, apparently.

I know right! Bet my friend's DD's colleague is on mumsnet! There sure are a few people on here who have this stinking attitude.

@ForgottenWhyImHere A great nuanced response, thank you. I don’t necessarily agree with all of it, but thank you for taking the tone to write it.

Valentines day started off with well meaning intentions but how is it showing your love by buying flowers, chocolates and a card when ironically now it's the one day where the sentiment doesn't mean as much as you're forced by peer or partner pressure to do so. A show of love on any other day means so much more instead. By all means celebrate it but you're an easy cash cow for hallmark businesses and the years where you aren't with a partner, the day will be horrible. I'd rather keep my money, not liter my house with tat, and not be waiting all day to receive a disappointing gift from someone who has been told to buy a gift to say he loves me. I never make any comment about the day beyond 'we dont celebrate' but youve asked, and it's hard to not be rude about it. My oh bought me flowers randomly last year to show he loved me. I believe in that sentiment as he did it because he wanted to, not because he was forced to.

Oooooh you’re hard 🙄 obviously you’ve never been given a stuffed hedgehog

Made me snort my tea! 😂

@SockFluffInTheBath

not me, I’m quite picky and choose well. I was merely agreeing with the sentiment. As for being spoiled by my man, dear god, I’m not a girlie pwincessy type who needs tokens and tat to feel valued.

WOW, the colleague of my friend's DD is here folks!

What an incredibly childish, petty, spiteful, and mean-spirited remark. Your bitterness and jealousy is showing dear.

[quote Sweetlikejollof]@ForgottenWhyImHere A great nuanced response, thank you. I don’t necessarily agree with all of it, but thank you for taking the tone to write it.[/quote]
The time, the final line should say. 🤦🏾‍♀️

This is the reason if you are willing to listen.
I don’t care what you celebrate. What I do care about it another day where I get pestered to buy stuff for my children and expectations get raised and raised.
For examples I give you:
Easter- now not good enough to get just chocolate eggs. Now DC friends are getting a full array of wrapped gifts like a birthday.
Xmas eve. Not good enough to just settle down with a film for the evening. Now DC friends are all getting xmas eve boxes stuffed with goodies.
Halloween- kids now asking for all decorations and lights outside as most friends in our road have them. Halloween parties, and some even give gifts now.
It just goes on and on and yes of course you don’t ‘have’ to buy into any of it.
But those with 2/3/4 kids of different ages espically know that it’s just not that simple.
Just shops packed out with plastic tat or processed sugary foods even more than normal.
Nothing is simple anymore. Nothing is understated. Consumerism grows and grows and grows and every year a new trend that just adds and adds.
It boils my piss because buying into it and buying a whole loads of cheap food or cheap crap from China facilitates this and it affects ALL of US

@Sweetlikejollof

Oooooh you’re hard 🙄 obviously you’ve never been given a stuffed hedgehog

Made me snort my tea! 😂

Me too. Eeeee, there are some proper 'ard wimmin on here who are too cool and 'ard for valentines day shite!

I will take being an 'iccle pwincess' any day, over being anything like some of the mean-spirited, negative, and angry mood hoovers on here who just HATE fun, love, romance, and good times.

What a dreary existence they must have.

Oooooh you’re hard 🙄 obviously you’ve never been given a stuffed hedgehog

DH bought me chocolates (oh the imagination ) on our first valentines. If he’d bought me a cuddly toy he’d never have got a ring on my finger

@SockFluffInTheBath he would’ve had a lucky escape if you rejected an innocent hedgehog!

@Silverswirl You care WAY too much about other peoples lives dear. Just like the mood hoovers and fun sponges on here.

[quote Cheekypeach]@SockFluffInTheBath he would’ve had a lucky escape if you rejected an innocent hedgehog![/quote]

@JustBlethering

People are the same about Christmas, Easter, Halloween, adults celebrating their birthday. Some people are miserable.

No, I am very happy thank you.

I am happy not having to bother with all that rubbish.

No pressure, just enjoying my life.

I am far from miserable. I am the happiest I have ever been.

What a dreary existence they must have.

So if we’re not into that pink fluffy Disney shit then we’re dreary? Ok sweetie

@Sparklybanana

Valentines day started off with well meaning intentions but how is it showing your love by buying flowers, chocolates and a card when ironically now it's the one day where the sentiment doesn't mean as much as you're forced by peer or partner pressure to do so. A show of love on any other day means so much more instead. By all means celebrate it but you're an easy cash cow for hallmark businesses and the years where you aren't with a partner, the day will be horrible. I'd rather keep my money, not liter my house with tat, and not be waiting all day to receive a disappointing gift from someone who has been told to buy a gift to say he loves me. I never make any comment about the day beyond 'we dont celebrate' but youve asked, and it's hard to not be rude about it. My oh bought me flowers randomly last year to show he loved me. I believe in that sentiment as he did it because he wanted to, not because he was forced to.

Do you celebrate any other holidays or celebration days? As they are all hot commercialised and milk people like ‘cash cows’.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day can happen in a relationship where small (and large) tokens of love are regularly exchanged. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

However, you’re entitled to your beliefs and to celebrate/not celebrate for any reason. My OP isn’t asking asking about that. As stated, I was asking about people’s reasons for being rude about other people celebrating. From what you’ve written, you’re not one of those people.

@HardbackWriter

I always think that the people who make a huge fuss about being above Valentine's Day and about their distaste for it sound like teenagers. It's a bit like people who mock religion with things like 'your imaginary friend' and 'sky fairies'. Or 'hating' babies. It's just all a bit sixth form, a 16 year old's idea of what's edgy.

Totally

[quote HelloFrostyMorning]@Silverswirl You care WAY too much about other peoples lives dear. Just like the mood hoovers and fun sponges on here.[/quote]
🤣 wooosh.

[quote HelloFrostyMorning]@Silverswirl You care WAY too much about other peoples lives dear. Just like the mood hoovers and fun sponges on here.[/quote]
Mood Hoover 🤣

"rude" about valentines day? Really, it's just a bloody holiday, why do some people view it as a personal attack if others think the day is tacky and don't celebrate it?

“Oooooh you’re hard”

😂😂 comment of the day!