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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

417 replies

Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 13:47

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 15:33

@Cheekypeach

I personally really enjoy events, Valentines, bonfire night, Halloween, Easter, the works. It marks the passage of time, the rhythm of the year and breaks up what would otherwise be long chunks of time with little markers. You can do things ‘your’ way, on valentines we do cards but no gifts, and went to see Jackass at the cinema Blush it doesn’t have to be covered in rose petals and diamanté’s, it’s just nice to observe these things to remind you to be grateful for the people in your life. I wonder what memories people will have who are so snide about any fun or celebration.
This. In spades. ^
Moonface123 · 15/02/2022 15:34

But why do you feel you need validation because you choose to celebrate it. What is driving that ? Nobody really cares at the end of the day who does what, all l know is that my store took a shedload of money yesterday and are now selling the remaining flowers off at 75% discount today.

sanbeiji · 15/02/2022 15:34

@Newyearnewme2022

I’m tacky and tasteless if you go by MN standards, I love any celebration, baby showers, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, the lot and there’s enough other people out there celebrating these events to show that I’m not in the minority.
Me too! It’s the thought, and the acknowledgment that I like these things. And god knows there’s been little enough to celebrate these last 2 years.
erhellerr · 15/02/2022 15:34

it’s part of a trend (which has been acknowledged by pp) and I was wondering why that is

Because it's an anonymous chat board and people can get it off their chest in a way they might not in real life. It's a frivolous rather than serious subject

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 15/02/2022 15:35

OP the question here isn't "Why people are SO rude about Valentine's Day?" It's why do you give a shit what other people think? Why does it matter? If you want to celebrate it go ahead. Its a non-issue.

HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 15:35

@EmmaH2022

I think a cuddly hedgehog sounds cute! Grin

Me too!

Original poster
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 15:36

@Aimee1987 If that’s what you got from that exchange, then I can’t really help you. The person gunning for a fight in our current exchange is you. Are you alright?

I’m going to ignore you going forwards, but feel free to attempt to row with other people.

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 15:38

@ForTheLoveOfSleep

OP the question here isn't "Why people are SO rude about Valentine's Day?" It's why do you give a shit what other people think? Why does it matter? If you want to celebrate it go ahead. Its a non-issue.
Maybe you should start your own thread asking 'why do people give a shit what people think about Valentine's Day?' Seeing as you wonder this.

This thread is asking why people are so rude about Valentine's Day. NOT about why people give a shit about peoples opinions.

SockFluffInTheBath · 15/02/2022 15:38

It is a day for show to excuse vile and behaviour that is not loving in anyway whatsoever for the other 364 days.

Much like going to confession once a week means you can be a bastard for the next 6 days.

DH and I don’t do it. My feeling is it’s for people who haven’t been together long enough to have anniversary dates. Would I roll my eyes at someone hanging out for an unimaginative Valentine’s Day proposal, or getting hissy at receiving supermarket flowers? Yes I would.

sanbeiji · 15/02/2022 15:39

Threadshit ration!

Original poster
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 15:39

@HelloFrostyMorning

100% agree *@Sweetlikejollof* Everyone I know in real life (in a couple,) celebrates it, if only with a card and a bunch of carnations from Morrisons. Yet on mumsnet, at LEAST 3 out of 5 people claim it's all rubbish, commercialism, faff, fluff, pathetic, childish, wet, and stupid. And only childish idiots partake in it.

My friends DD (28) had a lovely cuddly toy hedgehog off her boyfriend yesterday, and a woman in her office - 5 years old and single (shocker!) laughed at her and mocked her, and said 'fuck me, are you 5?' And hollared loud enough so that everyone could hear. Nasty jealous little bitch.

Exactly this. I don’t know any couples that don’t do something on Valentine’s Day. Not necessarily something big or showy, but a little loving gesture. And nobody gets het up about it.

Your friend’s DD’s colleague sounds like a shocker of a human being. I always wonder how some of the posters on here function in real life. Like that, apparently.

OP posts:
sanbeiji · 15/02/2022 15:39

*threadshitception

loislovesstewie · 15/02/2022 15:40

When I was young (in the time of Queen Victoria!!) you just sent a card and that was it. Now it seems it's cards, flowers, meal cooked, proposal, articles in tabloids about sexy underwear, tips on how to enjoy sex (in the same tabloids) and goodness knows what else. It's over the top to some of us.

Iwannabewherethepeopleare · 15/02/2022 15:40

People DO give a shit what others think though. Most people. And anyone that does need validation, probably has insecurities and anxieties and people who ‘say it how it is, don’t sugarcoat anything’ just pick on these people who can’t tend to be as strong in their response. Why do you care what people think? Well human psychology suggests that’s how we get along in life by being accepted in society, if people are making an issue of something you do then yes, it will cause discomfort in most.

amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 15:42

You could have just asked on that thread then? Instead of starting yet another?

ilovesooty · 15/02/2022 15:42

Well this is a novel take on the weekly "Mumsnet is mean and nasty" thread. Grin

Cheekypeach · 15/02/2022 15:42

If my DH had given me a cuddly hedgehog I would’ve been fucking delighted

Lovey creatures

Original poster
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 15:43

@Moonface123

But why do you feel you need validation because you choose to celebrate it. What is driving that ? Nobody really cares at the end of the day who does what, all l know is that my store took a shedload of money yesterday and are now selling the remaining flowers off at 75% discount today.
Asking why people are rude about something that doesn’t affect them in any way is hardly seeking validation. I find it interesting that you think it is.
OP posts:
amiafreakofnature · 15/02/2022 15:44

The thing is it's a matter of opinion. You think they are rude they think they don't. We could all posts pointless why are people rude about x y z threads about anything or we could simple challenge the people you think are being rude at the time?

Original poster
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 15:46

@ForTheLoveOfSleep

OP the question here isn't "Why people are SO rude about Valentine's Day?" It's why do you give a shit what other people think? Why does it matter? If you want to celebrate it go ahead. Its a non-issue.
That could be said of half the post on Mumsnet. Why are any of us here? Why do any of us give a shit what other people think? The majority of posts on here are about non-issues.

I’m not conducting post-doctoral research, I started a thread on a chat site to discuss something I’ve noticed.

My question to you would be: why have you commented on a thread that clearly doesn’t interest you, about an issue that you find so inconsequential? Why does it matter?

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 15:47

@SockFluffInTheBath

It is a day for show to excuse vile and behaviour that is not loving in anyway whatsoever for the other 364 days.

I am very sorry you have been treated so rotten by men, but many men who spoil their woman on Valentines' day DO actually love them and care about them all year round.

I pity some of the women on here... They must have been with some awful men.

HelloFrostyMorning · 15/02/2022 15:47

@Cheekypeach

If my DH had given me a cuddly hedgehog I would’ve been fucking delighted

Lovey creatures

YEP! Grin
Original poster
Sweetlikejollof · 15/02/2022 15:48

@ilovesooty

Well this is a novel take on the weekly "Mumsnet is mean and nasty" thread. Grin
I aim to please.
OP posts:
worldvisa · 15/02/2022 15:49

because bitter people ARE generally nasty and rude 🤷

but I also agree with the first post, whinging either about not getting enough special treatment, some posters are ridiculously childish.
Celebrate or not, but don't be a martyr or a princess. When it's important to you, make it clear to your partner and clarify what you want.

Being upset/outraged/shocked/fuming because the diamond is too small, and you only had a card/flowers/diner invitation but didn't tell the poor guy WHAT you wanted... bit silly.

he ones where they have agreed not to buy each other anything but then the OP bought him something and is upset that he didn't buy her anything even though that was what was agreed in the first place.
that.

SockFluffInTheBath · 15/02/2022 15:50

@HelloFrostyMorning not me, I’m quite picky and choose well. I was merely agreeing with the sentiment. As for being spoiled by my man, dear god, I’m not a girlie pwincessy type who needs tokens and tat to feel valued.