To ask you to explain non binary to me (genuine question)

[crochetmonkey74]

I have a new non binary person on my team at work (I am a manager)
They present as female-very much so in dress and grooming, they have a very feminine name too ,they have told me that they are heterosexual and live with their partner. However they want to be known as 'they' and the pronoun 'MX'
I am happily doing all this, I believe everyone should be comfortable and I will address people how they wish to be addressed.
I'm a teacher so my new member of the team is continually being misgendered by the students (due to the incongruity of appearance and pronoun) we have other non binary more androgynous looking staff who are not misgendered.
My new staff member is a nice person but they are very aware of correcting people, and have already complained (not about me)
I'm keen to do this right and not offend but also despite trying to read around the issue, I cant find much about non binary females who present in a feminine aspect.
This is not a bait thread or a stealth moan. It is a genuine question. Anyone got any experience with this?

Fact is all humans are NB because noone fits the sexist moulds

I’d suggest this is not true. Most people do follow gender norms.

I am rather nervous as they said middle aged women in jobs above them are triggering to them

This person is clearly a complete egotistical monster.

The teaching standards are very clear. You shouldn't be pushing political views on children.

We teach children tolerance, not affirmation.

Nothing unkind about it. Tolerance means quietly getting.on with your own beliefs without imposing on others.
This is imposing on others.
I mean, I can get the teaching standards out and tell you exactly how being kind isn't endorsed here.

Children don't owe us validation.

Biggerboat what is unkind is compelling children to lie because the teacher claims a special identity.

How can you not see that this is wrong?

How do you know someone is non-binary? Answer - don't worry, they will tell you.

The confusion we are causing in children is child abuse and none of us should support that. If your identity depends on compelling others to use language in a certain way to validate you then I refuse to take it seriously.

I mean, we're all working really hard to break down sex based stereotypes, so technically are we all non-binary?

Yes. No one is "binary", gender identity is entirely based on stereotypes. It's offensive that these people feel they can box everyone else up to suit themselves.

I wish schools would just let all staff be known by their first name. Strip away these "gender affirming" tags.

I’d actually be very annoyed if they were inflicting this nonsense on to children in my school. How are the children even supposed to pronounce Mx??

It’s not fair to confuse young children - if it’s a woman they’ll say they see a woman. Because she is one.

The trouble is we’ve all been told we have an innate gender identity by the woke mob (we don’t, it’s not real), so young people look for it, can’t find it, think “I don’t identify with being a woman” (eg regressive sex based stereotypes) so say they’re non-binary.

The truth is we’re basically ALL non-binary because none of us has a gender identity! You can reject sex based stereotypes (eg blue for boys, pink for girls etc) - which is what I do. But you’re still male or female. You can’t identify out of that.

The titles Ms or Mr refer to your sex. So I am a Ms.

I’ve no idea how you take this forward as it’s a legal nightmare (thanks last Labour Govt...) but I wouldn’t want my children being taught by someone so lacking in critical thinking skills that they genuinely believe they’re no longer a sexed being

Of all the gender ideology bollocks, I think I actually find 'non-binary' the most sexist and regressive. It basically says that if you don't fit exactly into societies expectations of men and women then you are somehow 'other' and neither male or female? Rather than just being a man/woman that doesn't fit the stereotypes?

Also, I just couldn't get on with referring to an individual person as 'they'.

@Ereshkigalangcleg

I did start to ask , but they said they felt it was triggering to explain it

What a very unexpected response. sarcasm

They couldn’t explain it because they have no idea, it’s just something they want as a label for now, until the next silly fad for them, sorry but they ain’t special by any way shape or form & they need to deal with it themselves

I’d suggest this is not true. Most people do follow gender norms.

No they don't, we're all a mixture of sex stereotype coded traits to a greater or lesser extent, like so called "non binary" people are. The person in the OP is a female person who presents as "feminine", how is that not "following gender norms"?

Of all the gender ideology bollocks, I think I actually find 'non-binary' the most sexist and regressive. It basically says that if you don't fit exactly into societies expectations of men and women then you are somehow 'other' and neither male or female? Rather than just being a man/woman that doesn't fit the stereotypes?

Me too.

The irony is that she looks similar to me (20 years younger obviously) we have similar hobbies, upbringings and outlooks (I don't feel particularly female either)

Urgh what do they expect in a school with kids. Just tell them to correct anyone who gets it wrong but when they present themselves as a typical female its going to happen. God I hope this shit is a phase and gone before my kids hit secondary.

I too would like to know how Mx should be pronounced. It's not a combination of letters that lends itself to saying out loud.

oh, ps MX is pronounced MIX

I agree it's attention seeking. Fine to try and get her pronouns right yourself, but a bit much to expect the children to do so. Perhaps a conversation about realistic expectations is in order.

I think that Mx is pronounced Muxx in a similar way to Ms/ Muzz

Older women triggering?? Op stop pandering to her nonsense. She needs to keep her issues out of school. Who is she complaining about? Children?

@crochetmonkey74 - may I suggest you read up on “Social Munchausen’s Disorder”. This is basically where ppl appropriate or “identify” with minority groups to A) control the narrative, and B) Gain power.

Teaching standards section 2:

Treating pupils with dignity, building relationships rooted in mutual respect, and at all times observing proper boundaries appropriate to a teacher’s professional position
Having regard for the need to safeguard pupils’ well-being, in accordance with statutory provisions
Showing tolerance of and respect for the rights of others
Not undermining fundamental British values, including democracy, the rule of law, individual liberty and mutual respect, and tolerance of those with different faiths and beliefs
Ensuring that personal beliefs are not expressed in ways which exploit pupils’ vulnerability or might lead them to break the law
Teachers must have proper and professional regard for the ethos, policies and practices of the school in which they teach, and maintain high standards in their own attendance and punctuality
Teachers must have an understanding of, and always act within, the statutory frameworks which set out their professional duties and responsibilities

@SD1978

I don't understand the questions. You're happy to accept other non binary staff as they present how you assume they should, but this person causes you issue?

Why don't you actually read what she wrote instead of getting on your high horse?

These people wouldn't really like it if all gender pronouns/greetings were removed. They might at first, but it would soon dawn on them that no one would know that they were different to the common herd of "binary" people.

I'd say they don't want to feel restricted by male or female stereotypes and are expressing that in a modern way. Not much you need to do except try your best to remember the pronouns etc.