Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year Old

170 replies

miki14 · 14/02/2022 22:28

If you took your 13 year Old daughter and her friend - same age - to a resort of some kind, for a few days, and went to the movies, within the resort: would you notice (and react) if one of the girls went missing for almost 2 hours? (Long movie) or is she Old enough to handle whatever the reason for her leaving the movie (Cinema?) for almost 2 hours?

OP posts:
LetMeTryAgain · 14/02/2022 22:34

I would be very concerned.

NuckingFightmare · 14/02/2022 22:34

I'd want to know where she's gone

MrsSkylerWhite · 14/02/2022 22:36

I’d be frantic.
Why aren’t you?

Aquamarine1029 · 14/02/2022 22:36

Is this a joke question? I would be tearing the place apart trying to find her.

Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2022 22:37

I would be looking after about 15 minutes, possibly sooner. Where was she?

Hellocatshome · 14/02/2022 22:38

If I was with them yes but at 13 I would probably have let them go alone. Was the other 13 year old not questioning where they were?

Anoisagusaris · 14/02/2022 22:38

I’d be frantic, especially if it wasn’t my child! If she just walked out I’d presume she had gone to the loo and would be back in no more than 10 minutes. I wouldn’t be sitting there watching the film after that, I’d be looking for her/ringing her etc.

cuno · 14/02/2022 22:39

Yes of course. I'd be concerned if my partner disappeared on me at the cinema for hours as well, so why wouldn't you be reacting to a missing 13 year old?

Original poster
miki14 · 14/02/2022 22:40

My daughter was the one going with her friend and her father to a resort for 2 nights. Starting today. They went to Cinema , within resort. My daughter had a panic attack and left the Cinema, went outside to Call me. I could not reach the father , or the friend, by phone. My daughter sat there, for more than 2 hours before movie was done and they found her there.
She is Ok, had her on phone the Hole time, but i am about to start World War 3 and not sure if i am over reacting.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/02/2022 22:42

Her father is an idiot I assume.

At least she had you on the phone. Are panic attacks typical for her?

Hankunamatata · 14/02/2022 22:43

Did she say she was going outside to call you?

cuno · 14/02/2022 22:44

No I don't think you're overreacting, something really bad could have happened. You've left your daughter in someone else's care and so you'd expect them to be on the ball with things. Sounds like he was more bothered about not missing the film!

Walkingalot · 14/02/2022 22:45

He didn't go and check his own daughter was OK, not once? That's awful OP. And also poor, is that the friend didn't go and check on her.
Has she a history of panic attacks and going off on her own and if so, does she like to be left alone?
Have you spoken to him yet? What was his excuse?
I certainly wouldn't be trusting him to take her away again in a hurry!

Hellocatshome · 14/02/2022 22:45

Did she say anything before she left the room? Its certainly not good that they didn't notice her missing but I think once she had got it under control which I'm assuming she did within the 2 hours she could have gone back inside and let them know how she was feeling rather than sit outside by herself for 2 hours.

PonyPatter44 · 14/02/2022 22:45

You are overreacting. Your daughter was out of order wandering off without telling her friend. As a parent I would assume that 13 year old could sit in the cinema and watch a film without having to be watched every moment.

Perhaps your DD isn't ready to be going away from.home without you if this is how she behaves.

RestingPandaFace · 14/02/2022 22:46

I don’t think I would start world war 3 over it as it very much depends on what was said, whether then knew she was having a panic attack etc. There are lots of ways this could have come about, some reasonable and some not.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 22:47

You are most definitely not overreacting.

I would be apoplectic.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 22:48

@Walkingalot

He didn't go and check his own daughter was OK, not once? That's awful OP. And also poor, is that the friend didn't go and check on her. Has she a history of panic attacks and going off on her own and if so, does she like to be left alone? Have you spoken to him yet? What was his excuse? I certainly wouldn't be trusting him to take her away again in a hurry!
I read it as that's the friends father not the OPs DD father.
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/02/2022 22:48

@PonyPatter44

You are overreacting. Your daughter was out of order wandering off without telling her friend. As a parent I would assume that 13 year old could sit in the cinema and watch a film without having to be watched every moment.

Perhaps your DD isn't ready to be going away from.home without you if this is how she behaves.

As a parent I'd assume that a grown adult was able to understand a panic attack isn't 'behaving' in a certain way and able to be civil on the internet.

We're all disappointed.

Original poster
miki14 · 14/02/2022 22:48

Dad apparently sat somewhere else, didnt see her leaving. Dont know why her friend didnt react.. daughter told friend she wasnt feeling Well and left.
yes she has anxiety and he know this. Ok to not sitting together - nut sit somewhere you cam see Them!!
I am so angry.. and dissapointed..
and my daughter handled it Well. When her phone lost power, she borrowed a phone to Update me. She is with Them now, all Ok. But i am angry with the dad and dont know how not to rip his head off when i see him

OP posts:
cuno · 14/02/2022 22:49

@PonyPatter44

You are overreacting. Your daughter was out of order wandering off without telling her friend. As a parent I would assume that 13 year old could sit in the cinema and watch a film without having to be watched every moment.

Perhaps your DD isn't ready to be going away from.home without you if this is how she behaves.

So are you suggesting that panic attacks are bad behaviour?
Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2022 22:51

It sounds possible he didn't know anything about it if he was sitting elsewhere.
It's difficult to picture the exact scenario so before ripping his head off find out what he knew about any of this.

Original poster
miki14 · 14/02/2022 22:51

She could not handle going back. And neither reacted on phone.
She is not bad behaved. She had a panic attack

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 14/02/2022 22:51

I think I would he more angry with the friend than the Dad in this scenario she knew her friend was unwell and had been gone for a long time and did nothing. If I took 2 13 year olds to a cinema I wouldn't expect to have to keep an eye on them.

Sparklingbrook · 14/02/2022 22:53

@Hellocatshome

I think I would he more angry with the friend than the Dad in this scenario she knew her friend was unwell and had been gone for a long time and did nothing. If I took 2 13 year olds to a cinema I wouldn't expect to have to keep an eye on them.
Yes, i think the friend should have alerted her Dad. As for the phone thing then it's good etiquette to switch them off in the cinema or at least have them on silent, and definitely not looking at them.