DMum constantly asking me if I know people I obviously do know...

[Lockheart]

[Light-hearted]

I will caveat this by saying that I do love my mother dearly but she drives me round the absolute bend with this. Any time we talk:

Her: "I was chatting to Anne, you know Anne from next door?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Anne, I only lived next door to her for 15 years too and she only babysat us many many times.

Mum: "Do you remember Betty, from Closest town?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Betty, she's only been your best friend and like a second mother to me for as long as I can remember and I saw her daughter last Tuesday as you well know.

Meeting someone on the street with her: "Oh Lockheart you know Sue from down the road." Yes of course I bloody know her, she's only lived there 20 years and we saw her last fecking week. She came over for coffee! We were both there!!.

Mum: "Did you know Cathy has a new car? You know, Cathy your cousin?" YES I KNOW WHO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS FOR CHRISTS SAKE

The above examples have unique names in our social circles. We don't know a million people all called Linda, for example, where differentiation might be justified That I could understand.

Just why?? I'm honestly awaiting the phone call which goes "Hello love, it's your mother, you know, the one who birthed and raised you".

My only theory is that either she has the memory of a goldfish or she thinks that I do

Please tell me other people's mother's do this and it's not a torture she's dreamed up just got me?

My mother used to clarify who my dad was.

‘I’ve told Ed I’ll meet him later. I mean, your dad.’

Yes, Mum, I know who you mean!

Then I did it to DH yesterday

My dm did the opposite. She'd say, 'I saw Margaret Miller yesterday, you remember Margaret from next door.'

Err no, she lived next door at the old house, and I wasn't born.

It was equally infuriating.

Haha DP's mom does this! She'll say things like "So I heard that Jack - you know Jack, he's friends with [DP]". Yes, I think I've heard of my partner's best friend of 25 years!

My mum does this but the opposite way, says “This is Tina you remember her from when she lived near us but she moved 30 years ago” no mum I don’t, I would have been a toddler! Sometimes I pretend I do know them just because she will keep going on “she had two kids sam and George” “red door you know the one” 🙄 it’s easier to just say yes I remember

Consider yourself lucky: my mother is forever telling me highly involved stories about people I've never met and have no knowledge of...

Don't get me started on the 'Guess Who's Dead?' Challenge (mum, there are 7.5bn people in the world, we could be here for a while).

I think we all have the same mother!

Then it will be “she use to have a little dog” “she use to work in Sainsbury’s” it goes on and on, better to just say yes straight away!

My DM does this, and also when talking about people I’ve never met/last saw when I was a child and have no memory of. For the ones I have no clue about she’ll continue trying to prod my memory with “you remember Bernard, the one that had the cat with a limp”, “no I’ve never met the man”, “oh you do know him, he’s the one who married Glenda that used to be your cousins hairdresser”, “no mum, I do not know these people”, “oh but you do!…” and on it goes. I just say yes now. She seems oddly adamant I don’t know the folk that I actually do, and MUST know the ones I’ve never met. Maybe I should keep a spreadsheet..

I think it's just her way of talking

We all have our quirks, my Mum likes to tell the same ancient stories over and over and she knows fine we've all heard them eleventybillion times before

My mum says remember (name) ? When I say no she's like yeah you do! (Siblings) friend from primary school!

Why on EARTH would I know them? I don't even remember my own classmates let alone my siblings - one of which is 6 years younger than me!

My mum does this. She will say I was speaking to Bob yesterday, you know my brother Bob? Yes mum he is the only Bob that you and I both know and he has been my uncle for 60 years!

My MIL does this but only ever talks about 'important' people and always adds a vital detail about how rich they are or how big a house they have or what an important job they have eg do you know Janet's daughter the doctor with the mansion and 16 horses.

Yes I do know Janet's daughter and she is an insufferable twat !

I haven't had the "guess who's dead" game yet, she's not quite of that age.

I do sometimes get very detailed information about people I don't know and really don't care about. When I've had a long day at work and want to go to bed I really can't be doing with long stories about Jenny From The Office And Her Heart Medication.

I am glad to know it's not just me

I'm sure when she's gone (in many decades time) I will give anything to hear her tell me about who my aunty is.

The flip-side is being expected to keep up with the various ailments of the various Barbaras, Margarets and Johns. I haven't met these people and it's hard to remember if we're talking about Margaret with Arthritis or Margaret with Lumbago. There was clearly a limited pool of fashionable names to use 70-80 years ago!

DH has the related issue of not having lived with 200 miles in over 30 years and having to smile and nod through the antics of his sibling's school friends that he never really knew and their families. Being the youngest, he never mixed with these people in the first place.

My mum does the opposite. Do you know Peter from church? (No mum I’ve never been to that church). Well his cousin Stan had an operation on his knee… Great thanks for letting me know Mum Bless her

I feel your pain, OP. My mother goes to the other extreme - she’ll say, ‘You know who I saw the other day? That woman…’

[Cue long pause while I think ‘Well, at least that’s narrowed it down to half the globe’s population’]

‘She had… two daughters, I think. One of them was in the year above you at school - or was it below? Or was she in your sister’s year?’

Me: ‘Erm… I don’t know.’

Her: ‘You remember! They lived on Park Hill Road, near Janet! I think she had a perm then…’

The weird thing is, I do eventually get it!

My mum's a vet and I have the 'do you remember Rufus' s owner from school, they said to say hello'
That would be a no because I left school 500 years ago and Rufus wasn't born then
They mean well...

@Averydifferentwoman

My mother used to clarify who my dad was.

‘I’ve told Ed I’ll meet him later. I mean, your dad.’

Yes, Mum, I know who you mean!

Then I did it to DH yesterday

Mine has started doing this! She’ll say ‘I said to Tony - your dad - XYZ’, as if she feels the need to differentiate from 37 other Tonys she could have potentially been having the conversation with.

No it’s the other way round.
Do you remember, Barbara*? She lives next door to us when we lived in x place?

No, we moved when I was 2

*all Mum’s know a Barbara

Stories about people you don't know or give a fuck about, are the absolute worst. Or getting the life story of someone they just got speaking to while they were in the pub/at the market etc.

I physically have to stop myself from saying STOP BEING SO FUCKING BORING. Buy she's my mum and I absolutely adore her, so I just listen and feign interest.

My daughter does it

‘You know Jack’

Yes. I gave birth to him. Of course I know him!

I have the opposite problem. DH has a lot of musician friends, and they all seem to have the same names. Three people called Paul, for instance. He never tells me which one he's talking about. There are also seemingly dozens of people called either Chris, Dave or Mike. I think there are about eight Daves.

Which Dave are you on about?

FFS.

@AffIt

Consider yourself lucky: my mother is forever telling me highly involved stories about people I've never met and have no knowledge of...

Don't get me started on the 'Guess Who's Dead?' Challenge (mum, there are 7.5bn people in the world, we could be here for a while).

That’s my dads favourite game!

Guess who died?

Erm..give us a clue?

These, and all variations thereof, drive me nuts.

I actually told both my olds to stop doing it, and other annoying things. And I'm glad I did! It doesn't prevent 100% of it but it reduces it.

Before anyone pulls out "when they are dead", my dad is dead now and I don't miss endless boring stories a la Uncle Albert.