DMum constantly asking me if I know people I obviously do know...

[Lockheart]

[Light-hearted]

I will caveat this by saying that I do love my mother dearly but she drives me round the absolute bend with this. Any time we talk:

Her: "I was chatting to Anne, you know Anne from next door?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Anne, I only lived next door to her for 15 years too and she only babysat us many many times.

Mum: "Do you remember Betty, from Closest town?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Betty, she's only been your best friend and like a second mother to me for as long as I can remember and I saw her daughter last Tuesday as you well know.

Meeting someone on the street with her: "Oh Lockheart you know Sue from down the road." Yes of course I bloody know her, she's only lived there 20 years and we saw her last fecking week. She came over for coffee! We were both there!!.

Mum: "Did you know Cathy has a new car? You know, Cathy your cousin?" YES I KNOW WHO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS FOR CHRISTS SAKE

The above examples have unique names in our social circles. We don't know a million people all called Linda, for example, where differentiation might be justified That I could understand.

Just why?? I'm honestly awaiting the phone call which goes "Hello love, it's your mother, you know, the one who birthed and raised you".

My only theory is that either she has the memory of a goldfish or she thinks that I do

Please tell me other people's mother's do this and it's not a torture she's dreamed up just got me?

My mum does the opposite to this - refers to people without context and I have no clue who she means. It could be someone she knew as a little girl and I never knew them, could be someone she has met and I haven't. I just nod, smile, make nice comments, that's all you can do!!

My mum’s friends all have almost the same name: Penny, Jenny and Henny. It’s like a fucking Beatrix Potter book. So I do need an extra layer of clarification. Penny from the library not Penny from church, or Jenny from flower arranging classes.

@girafferafferaffe

My mum says remember (name) ? When I say no she's like yeah you do! (Siblings) friend from primary school!

Why on EARTH would I know them? I don't even remember my own classmates let alone my siblings - one of which is 6 years younger than me!

This is what my mother does.

"Remember my second cousin Sally?"

No, mum.

"Yes you do, you've met her!"

Yes, once on one day when I was four fucking years old. Of course I don't bloody remember her. I could pass her on the street and would have no clue who she is.

Honestly, it does my head in.

About twenty years ago the apparent prevalence or possibly reporting of nut allergies began to really take off.

Well I was in my 30s by this time, I was due home for the weekend and my mother, the woman who raised me, must have just read another article on this topic, and so she asked me if I were allergic to nuts.

“I thought you might have an idea about my allergies (or non allergies) by now mother…”

My dad used to do this, but in a slightly different way- "you know Carol, I mean my wife, unnhh, I mean your mum!"

@HelloDulling that made me laugh so much! We have to differentiate between about eight Toms, six Ann(e)s, four Sarahs... Some even have a spouse with the same name, so you have to say Tom and Sarah on Park road not Tom and Sarah on School road etc. Gets wearing!

@Freshprincess

No it’s the other way round. Do you remember, Barbara*? She lives next door to us when we lived in x place? No, we moved when I was 2

*all Mum’s know a Barbara

And all the Barbaras are married to men called Don.

Yeah, my mum is kind of the opposite talking about lots of people, some who I remember and a lot who I don't - 20 years since I moved away!

This thread has made me smile as my mum does both too just think.....one day our kids are going to be gritting their teeth when we are earnestly trying to tell them about Kerry/Gemma/Louise ( insert other 80s name) latest hip surgery.

Is this only recent, or something she's always done? When my mother began to suffer from dementia, she was constantly telling me I wouldn't remember people or events I remember perfectly well, or that I wouldn't know a place I'd visited regularly.

Sounds familiar though ex mil used to usually be more morbid, you know .... from ... exh yes ... mil she /he died ... every single time we saw her thankfully not every week!

My Mum does this OP but it’s the opposite for me! Every phone call with her is like:

DM: ‘Dianne and Tim are getting married’
Me: ‘Who’s that?’
DM: ‘You know, the couple three doors down’ (from them)
Me: ‘No Mum, I’ve no idea who that is’
😂

Or

DM: ‘Do you remember Mrs Smith?’
Me: ‘Who?’
DM: ‘Mrs Smith, she was one of the teachers at your infant school’
Me: ‘Ummm no, not really…’
DM: ‘Oh well her daughter, do you remember Kelly?’
Me: ‘Kelly? No…’
DM: ‘Oh she was in your year…or maybe the year above…’
Me: ‘No I don’t know her’
DM: ‘…anyway Kelly has just had a baby’
Me: Oh, that’s nice…

I want to say I don’t care, I don’t care about these random people I want to know about you and DF.

Does sound annoying! Don't know anyone personally who does this though.

What annoys ME, is when I see someone who I have known since I was a small child (40 to 50-odd years,) like an old neighbour or old friend of a family member ,(but I rarely see them - like once or twice a year in passing.) And when they see me they say 'Hello Bear, how's your Auntie Beryl?' or 'how's your uncles Bill?'

Nothing about me 'how are you, how's the kids, how's the hubby, where you living now' Nothing. Just 'how's your auntie Beryl,' or 'how's your mum?' or 'how's your brother and those 2 kiddies of his?'

They live closer to them than I do. I think 'why don't you fucking ASK them? I just say 'I haven't seen them for a while, just pop in anytime if you want to see how they are....' They just look a bit blank and confused that I suggested this!

Weirdos! Some people are so annoying! Asking about family members of mine, that they probably see more often than I do, but never asking about me.

*UNCLE Bill, not 'uncles bill'

Lol OP. Yes, it's just a verbal quirk that a lot of people have but taken literally it is nonsense. My mum does both the 'you know [person she's lived next door to for 35 years who used to babysit us]' and also the 'You know John ... you went to school with one of his daughter's friends ... used to have a yellow car ... HAS A FUNNY EYE...' stuff.

Oh God, I have an aunt who I see maybe once a year and love dearly BUT instead of filling me in on things I might be interested in she will spend forever telling me long stories about people I have never heard of and have no desire to meet. It’s especially annoying if it’s a family occasion and I can hear other conversations happening that I’d like to join. With her it’s partly a form of social anxiety. She literally never stops talking.

My DM used to ask me, for example - do you know Clare from Superdrug”? I would say yes and then she would ramble on that “Clare you went to school with who married that dentist - well she now works in Superdrug”. Yes - I know - as I said at the beginning of this conversation.

My mum does both these things!

She teaches at the local school that I also went to as a child and talks about the kids who go there as if I know them. "Leo was saying that his dad..." "Mum who's Leo?" "Oh you know Collin'd brother, he's in English class, you know from school." Right. Right, the school I went to 15 years ago. Leo probably hadn't even been conceived then!

Also from the other day discussing my childhood best friend mum helpfully reminds me who we 're talking about, "she went to guides with you, didn't she?" Wtf yes she did and also every other thing I did from nursery until secondary.

Idk-at least you do know these people.

Is it worse when you say that you don't know them but get the story anyway?

Conversational crutches like that drive me insane. Someone close to me ends just about every sentence with “sort of thing”, and my mother starts every single sentence with “oh!” (Not like Nessa, I hasten to add, more like a habitual need to draw attention to herself before speaking). It drives me mad. I point it out (kindly. Ish.) and hope it makes them aware and so they maybe stop doing it.

My mum is of an age where she has lots of friends called e.g Jean. She used to start long and involved conversations about Jean without explaining which one. We have now named them...tall Jean, grumpy Jean, Weymouth Jean so it's easy to remember which one

@Briarshollow

Conversational crutches like that drive me insane. Someone close to me ends just about every sentence with “sort of thing”, and my mother starts every single sentence with “oh!” (Not like Nessa, I hasten to add, more like a habitual need to draw attention to herself before speaking). It drives me mad. I point it out (kindly. Ish.) and hope it makes them aware and so they maybe stop doing it.

Ed milliband used to start every single answer to every single question with a pause and then 'Well, look' People on Radio 4 who have had media training start every answer with "So'. Drives me mad.

You know is a turn of phrase. It isn't literally asking if you know them. Very common when I was growing up (south east)

@saveforthat

You know is a turn of phrase. It isn't literally asking if you know them. Very common when I was growing up (south east)

My mum is literally asking if I know to whom she is referring.

@AffIt

Consider yourself lucky: my mother is forever telling me highly involved stories about people I've never met and have no knowledge of...

Don't get me started on the 'Guess Who's Dead?' Challenge (mum, there are 7.5bn people in the world, we could be here for a while).

Oh God yes - my nana's neighbour was the champion of Guess Who's Dead.

And my nana used to start with
You know Brenda?

No.

Short lass, cross eyed.

No.

had a wooden leg.

No.

always carried a dead polecat.
No.

Bright purple hair.

No.

Lived next door to that seven foot tall fella with a hump.

No.

Oh you do.

Well, what about her?

She was on the bus last week, but I didn't recognise her til she got off...