DMum constantly asking me if I know people I obviously do know...

[Lockheart]

[Light-hearted]

I will caveat this by saying that I do love my mother dearly but she drives me round the absolute bend with this. Any time we talk:

Her: "I was chatting to Anne, you know Anne from next door?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Anne, I only lived next door to her for 15 years too and she only babysat us many many times.

Mum: "Do you remember Betty, from Closest town?"

Me (thinking): Yes, I know Betty, she's only been your best friend and like a second mother to me for as long as I can remember and I saw her daughter last Tuesday as you well know.

Meeting someone on the street with her: "Oh Lockheart you know Sue from down the road." Yes of course I bloody know her, she's only lived there 20 years and we saw her last fecking week. She came over for coffee! We were both there!!.

Mum: "Did you know Cathy has a new car? You know, Cathy your cousin?" YES I KNOW WHO MY FUCKING COUSIN IS FOR CHRISTS SAKE

The above examples have unique names in our social circles. We don't know a million people all called Linda, for example, where differentiation might be justified That I could understand.

Just why?? I'm honestly awaiting the phone call which goes "Hello love, it's your mother, you know, the one who birthed and raised you".

My only theory is that either she has the memory of a goldfish or she thinks that I do

Please tell me other people's mother's do this and it's not a torture she's dreamed up just got me?

MIL is the opposite. She'll start talking about people DH has never met. Then say 'You do know her. When we lived on That Street'. Where DH never lived as they moved before he was born.

Or talk about soap characters like they're real life people. We don't watch any so don't have the foggiest what she's on about.

Not as annoying as "Do you know who's dead? Gladys! You remember Gladys, I sang in the choir with her when you were about 6, and her daughter Susan was three years above you at school!"

No Mum, I don't remember Gladys, or Susan, but that's not going to stop you telling me a random story about her.

Does anyone get this from their folks

Usually after a particularly tedious day at work

Parent - so we went for lunch and cinema today. Tell me what you did at work?

Or

Parent - we went for lunch and cinema today. Did you know your Aunt is going to see if she can get her ears syringed? (I've never met her and have about 15 aunts and uncles).

Me - guess which bit of that I'd LOVE to hear more about?!

Ooh I don't think my mother actually knows any Jeans or Barbaras! I'm sure it'll come.

My SIL does this sort of thing but then takes it to a whole bonkers new level. She lives in Hull. I live a long ,long way from Hull. She is 75 , I am 56. The chances if us knowing the same people are very much less than minus 100 million to 1. She will start with "You know my friend Fiona?" Nope, I definitely don't. That doesn't stop her. "Well I saw her last week, Tuesday , no, no , not Tuesday . I did the washing Tue. I always do because that's what mum did. You remember that don't you X (my husband) . Do you remember the smart new top loader dad bought for her and we all gathered round to watch it work. Oh but actually I had run out of washing powder so i couldn't do the washing on Tuesday. I did it on Wednesday . I got new washing powder, from Aldi I think....or maybe Lidl. No, no it was Morrisons because I had a voucher from the evening paper that John got on his way back from bowls club. Ooo you know David from bowls don't you?". Oh God ,kill me ,kill me now.

@EmmaH2022

Does anyone get this from their folks

Usually after a particularly tedious day at work

Parent - so we went for lunch and cinema today. Tell me what you did at work?

Or

Parent - we went for lunch and cinema today. Did you know your Aunt is going to see if she can get her ears syringed? (I've never met her and have about 15 aunts and uncles).

Me - guess which bit of that I'd LOVE to hear more about?!

You're lucky, I never get the first one!

My phone calls consist of me going "Mhmm.... Yes..... Yep.... Oh right" for 40 minutes.

I manage to say how my day was in about 2.

I am a bit jealous of all of you who still have Mums.
But my Dad was only telling me yesterdaabout how someone who I have never met, am not related to, and who lives a hundred miles from both of us, is having trouble with their knee.

My mum tells me I won't remember something or someone.

"You won't remember auntie Jayne"
Auntie Jayne that I saw last year at a funeral and that I talk to all the fecking time?

"You won't remember the old house"
The house I lived in until I was almost 10?

I also got, "I was talking to Mary's dad, John"
Mary is my niece. John is my brother. I bloody know who her dad is!

@trumpisagit

I am a bit jealous of all of you who still have Mums. But my Dad was only telling me yesterdaabout how someone who I have never met, am not related to, and who lives a hundred miles from both of us, is having trouble with their knee.

My mum does this, ramping it up with loads of facts about their backstory just to tell me that they’re dead.

You know, Frank.
No…
With the tattoo the dog and the gammy leg?
The dog’s leg?
No Frank’s. He was in the war.
Was he?
Yeah, Boer.
Probably not the -
And he had that Andersen shelter in his garden where he kept those videos.
I really don’t remember…

Anyway, he’s dead.

Angelina yes, that's my parents till I explained that I didn't have enough spoons to cope with their Post Office story.

To make it fair, they get/got cross with me for being amazed sometimes when they know a certain song e.g. in the pub, Will Young "Jealousy" came on and they said "ooh, we like him" and I was honestly surprised they knew him.

That song must be 15 years old now, I think it's fairly safe to assume mum never watches music videos now...

Fifty - lol so hard at "Probably not (the Boer war".

Don't get me started on the 'Guess Who's Dead?' Challenge (mum, there are 7.5bn people in the world, we could be here for a while).

PMSL I had this last week- one of my cousins had died but since we counted I have 54 first cousins you really need to narrow it down…

@Squeekyturtle

My MIL does this but only ever talks about 'important' people and always adds a vital detail about how rich they are or how big a house they have or what an important job they have eg do you know Janet's daughter the doctor with the mansion and 16 horses.

Yes I do know Janet's daughter and she is an insufferable twat !

Hyacinth Bucket! The sister with ‘room for a pony’.

Um, I am this person. I forget sometimes that not everyone knows all the people I know. This is especially true for my poor DP. We have only been together 3.5 years, and while he has met quite a lot of my friends and relatives, there are still lots he doesn't know, which leads to interesting conversations.

Sadly I've got the conversation going in the other direction.

"Mum, Pat called. You know, Pat Fisher?"
"Who?"
"Pat Fisher! You know, you used to play bridge every week."
"No, I don't remember her!"
"Yes, you know. We used to go on holiday for a week every summer when we were kids as all the Fisher kids were the same age. We'd rent those cottages next to each other at that lake!"
"No I have no idea what you are talking about. We never holidayed by a lake. When did we stay in a cottage??"

Substitute any topic of conversation or any close personal friend from the last 90 years and the answer is always "No, no idea."

My mil has remarried and has totally thrown herself into her DH’s family. (They can have her…) On the rare occasions she rings to speak to my kids or my DH, she yacks on and on about people we’ve never met, and also does the “You know Natalie, who lives in …. with X & X, well her boyfriend’s brother just got a job at the local supermarke. Well…. His mum was telling me about the surgery she had on her knee and it was just like the time when Brent - you know Brent who is Darryl’s BIL? Well…..” That wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t also adopted their openly racist, homophobic, xenophobic and right-wing opinions as well…..

My MIL is the opposite. She just starts chatting about Linda or Shawn or Poppy like I’m best friends with them. She will tell me an entire story with NO context - for example she works with Shawn but she won’t tell me that the story takes place at work. I’ve learned to nod, smile and ‘hmmm’ at the right places

My dear father will get VERY ANNOYED when I can't recall folk. Last time it was the barmaid of his local ( not mine) of a pub he went to over 30 years ago ...and when I don't recall her he will say things like " she was married to that builder had a limp ?.... had to have her cat put down when it was poisoned ?daughter was a lesbian ? YOU DO KNOW HER .... found it easier to just say yes now when he asked as usually the punchline and the only reason he's brought her up is " she's dead now"

Smudge

Sorry crossed post the exact story , my dad does exactly this !!!

My mum does the opposite and its always about the folk at slimming world, I don’t go to slimming world nor do I know any of them, I still know :
Jan’s grandson Frankie (he’s the same age as your youngest well 2 years older) has a stigmatism

Linda who’s lovely, although at first I wasn’t keen, her husband John has taking early retirement he’s going to power hose drives to make a bit extra, he’ll need to careful though what with his pancreas

And so on and so forth for Margaret, Frank, Lisa, Debbie. I just smile and nod politely but inside I’m kicking doors of hinges

My mum has a neighbour called Linda. She doesn't know anyone else called Linda. But it's always Linda-Next-Door. Never just Linda!

Stories about people you don't know or give a fuck about, are the absolute worst yes I get this too. I did finally break one day and say I was bored with hearing about the same neighbours I'd never met over and over again. She was offended but she got over it and talks about them - just not quite as much.

My Mum used to drive me mad with conversations which usually went like this

Mum " You remember Doris*
who we lived next door to when you were younger?"

Me " Um no I don't"

Mum " Yes you do, small woman, wore glasses"

me " no can't place her"

Mum " oh you MUST remember her, she wore a flowery apron like your grans"

And so on and so on. In my head I would be screaming "no mum I don't fucking remember someone who lived next door to a house we moved from 40 odd years ago!!"

Turned out Doris had moved.

*not really called Doris.

@Slumcat

My mum does the opposite and its always about the folk at slimming world, I don’t go to slimming world nor do I know any of them, I still know : Jan’s grandson Frankie (he’s the same age as your youngest well 2 years older) has a stigmatism

Linda who’s lovely, although at first I wasn’t keen, her husband John has taking early retirement he’s going to power hose drives to make a bit extra, he’ll need to careful though what with his pancreas

And so on and so forth for Margaret, Frank, Lisa, Debbie. I just smile and nod politely but inside I’m kicking doors of hinges

This is infectious because I'm wondering if there's a pancreatic condition that can be affected by power hosing 😂